Rhoda Roc is back, answering some of your dating questions!
QUESTION: I’ve been dating this guy for awhile and I just found out he gave me herpes. My friends tell me herpes is rampant among the Asian Community. Is that true? And now that I’m tainted, I’m considering legal action. Honestly, I can’t get over this. I’m an emotional wreck. To make matters worse, he’s saying I gave it to him. What do you suggest?
Rhoda Roc: There are no proven statistics which states Herpes is more rampant among the Asian Community than other communities such as African Americans, Hispanics and Caucasians. It’s a worldwide epidemic and each individual is responsible for their own actions. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, about 45 million Americans ages 12 and older have genital herpes. That’s about 1 out of 5 adults. Genital Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease. It is one of the most common STDs in the United States. The best way is to protect yourself -Use a condom and limit your sexual partners.
As far as litigation is concerned that is up to you. I’ve heard of a few lawsuits over STD contraction but don’t think they are very common. Be prepared to disclose your past and present health and gynecological reports. Nothing will be sacred. If you are ok with that, then by all means I say do it. The guy violated you and knowingly and willingly gave you an incurable disease. Maybe these lawsuits will help curb the spread of STDs, since no one seems to care about who they infect and the number of infected persons is on the rise.
In the future, if you and your partner are serious about having UNPROTECTED sex, I would recommend you both get tested for any transmittable diseases before and during your sexual relationship.
QUESTION: I’ve been waiting for my boyfriend of 12 years to propose. He keeps saying one more year, year after year. Anyway, I’m busy as hell with my shoe line that I’m trying to get off the ground and don’t really have time to plan a wedding. I do love him, but I still leave my options open and date other men. Shouldn’t I be ok with not getting married? I don’t want kids.
Rhoda Roc: You might as well not get married if you are still waiting for a proposal after 12 years. He is obviously not ready and neither are you. You have your own business agenda and seem to have your hands full. You don’t seem too pleased about your boyfriend and you have an open door policy, in case something better comes along. If marriage is what you want, then you need to have a conversation with him about your future together as husband and wife.
And since you don’t want kids, you sound like you have the best of both worlds so why spoil it? Sit back and enjoy.
QUESTION: I’m a single girl dating in New York City. I have a really great job at a law firm, make six figures and use to be a Ford model. However, I can’t seem to find a boyfriend. My friends tell me that I’m too intimidating to men and that I should tone it down or downplay my accomplishments because men in general feel threatened. Do they really just want some sort of stepford wife? Gimme a break!
Rhoda Roc: You should not downplay your accomplishments. You have come a long way and worked too hard to get where you are in life. Men should not feel threatened by you. Men should be more confident and happy that they are able to snag a woman, who is beautiful, smart and successful. You will eventually find one who appreciates you for you. You should not have to be someone you are not. Did you ever think maybe YOU don’t want a guy who can’t handle a woman like you, instead of trying to change yourself? You are smarter than that. Are you hanging with the right crowd? Make sure you live, dine and hang out with people of your same stature and caliber. Have fun and enjoy life, do not worry about changing who you are especially for someone else!
Got a question for Rhoda? Leave it in the comments section and she’ll gladly get back to you!