Being a sort of newbie Manhattanite (I’m a Boston gal –sorry Yankee fans!) I’ve become terribly obsessed with the Bravo television show Housewives of NYC. As much as I wouldn’t want to be any of them, except maybe one, I’m drawn to their lifestyle and curious about their social life. I tune in every Tuesday to see what parties they have attended, what they are wearing, who’s fighting with whom and who’s dating who.
I have notice a difference in attitudes since the first season of Bravo’s Housewives of NYC. The Countess is non-stop counting, Bethenny is more whiny than ever, Ramona is more driven than ever, Jill really is letting the fame go to her head. Simon and Alex seem to be getting a backbone and Kelly brings in the glamour of New York City nightlife.
I decided to breakdown my perceptions of these women. Since I am an Asian American girl and none of them speak to me personally, they do speak to me as a dating woman in Manhattan. But as Jill Zarin would say, “Let’s call it what it is.” So I did!
Bethenny – You are not a celebrity, you don’t even appear to be a good chef. No one wants to know who you are. I would never buy anything from you. No one cares. Your jealousy of Kelly is quite obvious. She’s taller, prettier, educated, has natural breasts (you should really get yours redone) and is a real socialite, something you are so desperately trying to achieve. Never.Going.To.Happen. The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be. What would make you attractive is to take the advice you once profoundly gave to Simon and Alex, whom you were so quick to rip apart for social climbing (in reality you are the biggest social climber of all), “Accept yourself and just admit it. We’ll love you for it.” Maybe you should listen to your own advice. Word to the wise: Stop trying so hard! You don’t have “it”. Kelly does..Move on. Kelly dates hot Argentine Polo players. You date any guy who would give you the time of day. We all see it. Oh and the best part of all this is that you say Kelly is desperately trying to be famous? What about you? Skin flick, Martha Stewart Apprentice, 2nd season of NYC Housewives. Let’s see what happens after the show ends. No one is going to care what you’re doing. Kelly on the other hand? I think you know the answer to that.
Jill Zarin – I used to like you. I thought you were a nice person who was maybe a little insecure. Mario is right. Your 15 minutes of fame have gone to your head. You pick apart a Mercedes your husband gave you as a gift. Very mean! You buy a $16,000 purse on a whim (in the middle of a recession, but that’s beside the point). You should really feed a starving child for a year! You are all FLASH, which makes me wonder if you got any cash? You take all the credit for the interior design of your apartment and don’t even let your gay husband, who designed the interior of your apartment, in a photo with you for a magazine shoot. Do you actually think Metropolitan Home readers think you are the creative and “accomplished one”, as you mom likes to say?
Ramona – yes you have no wrinkles because you had a face lift. But good going. You maintain yourself and have a great personality. You definitely take care of your man, as you should. He be knocking some boots otherwise! Your obsession with Simon is quite bizarre. For some reason, I think, subconsciously, you have a crush on him. You are very entertaining and definitely a great mom. I will give you that!
Countess or should I say ex-Countess Luann deLesseps – I used to like you last season too but this season you are going completely overboard. It’s getting annoying. If I hear the word “Countess” one more time this season, I’m going to vomit. Are you really a Countess though? If you are an American citizen, you are not allowed to have a title. Are you a citizen of a European country, otherwise then you possibly were a countess for fourteen years or however long you were married.. Perhaps the Count got fed up with the whole “Countess” thing. You know, basically beating a dead horse all day and night? He seems unfazed by the title thingy. Regardless, you are a beautiful woman and I’m sure you have tons of men who want to date you, including Mario. I think he has a crush on you, but that’s just my opinion. You have a fun time in store for you that’s for sure! I can’t wait to see who you start dating next season.
Simon and Alex – I did not understand why all the housewives attacked you on the reunion show. It was quite upsetting actually. Bethenny who attacked your living conditions the most, lives in a shoebox. So what is her beef? I really think most of them are jealous of the connection and the happiness the two of you seem to have. I was disappointed to see that you started renovating your brownstone this season. I hope you did not cave into the pressure from the other housewives. Both of you have something none of the others have, which is realness. Sure you try to act like something you’re not but who at one point in their life didn’t. Look at the Countess! Regardless, readers, ask yourself this? Out of all the men on the show, who would come bail you out of jail in the middle of the night? All my money is on Simon. Mario? Absolutely not. Once he was done gelling his hair maybe but most likely not. Bobby? He’s so pussy whipped and Jill would never let him go. The Count? Not when he’s in Switzerland and Ethiopia. Bethenny’s guy? – What guy? Notice how Jason ran for the hills.
Kelly Killoren Bensimon – Anyone who has anything nasty to say about Kelly is obviously jealous. Is she really more annoying than Bethenny? Absolutely not! So she’s self absorbed, claws her way to the top and likes to be surrounded by celebrities. Who in New York and Los Angeles doesn’t? She’s living her life just like everyone else. She seems to be a great mom and I have yet to see her judge anyone. So what’s the beef? I’ll be honest. Her skin is a little off but who would not want to have her height and legs? Being a shorty, short Asian woman myself, I’ll admit that.
So that is my take on my latest obsession of the Housewives of NYC. Going forward, I would like to see a minority housewife thrown into the mix. I am all for the ladies of Atlanta but there are some great Asian and African American contenders in New York City. What about Keiko Aoki, Wendi Deng Murdoch or Lillian von Stauffenberg? Someone at the Bravo helm needs to start thinking!