You can try all the positions you want, or you can call up the world’s foremost sex doctors and ask them for their one surefire trick in the bedroom. And then the positions get better.
Tell Her She Looks (and Tastes) Great
“It’s been proven that women who feel confident about the appearance of their genitals are more open to different kinds of sexual activity, and are more likely to orgasm because they feel relaxed… When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes. Don’t treat it like a chore.” —Debra Lynne Herbenick, Ph.D., Indiana University, Kinsey Institute
Use Your Ears
“The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that a gigolo listens to what a woman wants in bed. So, ask. I would also advise that you to ask her while not in the bedroom — raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together.”
—Dr. Helen Fisher, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University
Touch Her Everywhere (with Oil)
“Sensual touching releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which increases a woman’s testosterone levels and ignites her sex drive. The seductive silky feel of oil being rubbed on skin is a turn-on for more passionate sex — for both of you.”
—Carol Cassell, Ph.D, former president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Western Region
Try scented/flavored oils.
Bring the Kitchen into the Bedroom
“Arginine is the basis for Viagra, so men should stick with foods high in it — such as oysters, fish, and other lean proteins. Everything that’s good for you above the waist is good for you below the waist as well: greens and beans; high protein/low-fat foods; and brightly colored fruits and vegetables, high in antioxidants. The Standard American Diet is … a detriment to performance.”
—Lynn Edlen-Nezin, Ph.D, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex
Take Your Time Undressing
“There is a degree of manipulation when it comes to the amount of neurotransmitter released… Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly… Let her work for it a little; she’ll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more.”
—Andrea Kuszewski, Behavior Therapist and Consultant, Boston, Massachusetts
Do a strip tease!
Take a Shower
“There’s no proven human pheromone to make you irresistible… So, until one is found, wash well — you can have too much of a good thing. (But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house? It will keep you always in her mind.)”
—Dr. Tristram Wyatt, Department of Zoology, University of Oxford
Either that or leave HIM something with your signature scent and lip print on it!
Create a Mood — Turn the Lights Down
“For women to get aroused, parts of their brains associated with stress and anxiety need to de-activate, according to neurological studies in the Netherlands. If women aren’t relaxed, they’re not going to enjoy sex. So dim the lights and share a fantasy. A Harvard study found that when you hug a woman longer than thirty seconds, it increases her oxytocin levels and anticipation of sex.”—Ian Kerner, Ph.D, FAACS, author of She Comes First: the Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
Candlelight is the best and most romantic
Sit Back and Relax
“Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her — it’s usually woman on top, facing away, also known as the reverse cowgirl. The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot.”
—Beverly Whipple, Ph.D, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm
It might be even better if you are wearing a Cowgirls’ cheerleading outfit for the performance.
Don’t Worry So Much — Intercourse Isn’t Everything
“If you’re thinking, ‘I hope it works! I hope it works!’ it’s not going to work. Take penetrative sex off the table for a month — do everything but that. Avoid making intercourse the be-all/end all. In most cases, once men stop worrying about it, it starts working. You can definitely stress yourself out of a boner.”
—Emily Wentzell, Assistant Professor of Anthropology, University of Iowa
I never have a problem giving any guy a boner. My problem is quite the opposite.
Get Her Pregnant (On Purpose)
“If you’re trying to impregnate your wife or girlfriend, stop thrusting immediately after ejaculating. The shape of your penis… was designed by natural selection to work as a retraction device, removing competing males’ sperm from your female partner’s vaginal tract. So if you keep going at it after you’ve achieved orgasm, you’re basically disadvantaging your own reproductive success.”
—Jesse Bering, Ph.D, director, Institute of Cognition and Culture, Queen’s University, Belfast
Who in his right mind would want to accidentally make a woman pregnant?