Think back to the best conversation you ever had with a man. Are there a few that pop to mind? What do they all have in common? I’m willing to bet those discussions left you feeling great! They were fun and filled with interesting points that made you want more and more and more. In fact, some of the best conversations are those that you hope NEVER end! A man feels the same way about discussions like that. He loves it! He wants more! Conversations that draw him in are a great way to get and KEEP his attention. They are also a great way to show him a little bit of who you are, and that can hook him on you. But where do you start? How do you talk to a man? How do you find those conversation topics that will keep him wanting more? Need some pointers?
RULE #1: KEEP IT LIGHT
Who likes deep and difficult conversations? I know I don’t! Most men will want to run the other way when the conversation gets serious. And that’s just fine at first. Those “getting to know you” conversations should be light and fun! Now is not the time to delve into serious subjects. Steer clear of politics and religion. Those are two hot-button subjects that should wait until he has had a chance to see how AWESOME you are. Watch his body language. If you bring up a discussion topic that makes him cross his arms, turn away from you, or stop looking you in the eye, it’s time to change the subject. Stick with the light things right now. The time for deeper discussions is later, after you know each other better.
RULE #2: BE INTERESTING!
A man loves a woman who has an interesting life. That’s why having your own hobbies and interests is so important. Not only does it make YOUR life much more fun, it makes you seem much more fun to HIM. Men fall all over themselves for a woman who enjoys her own hobbies on her own time! It shows that you are strong and independent. It also gives you a LOT to talk about. Think a man might not care about your hang-gliding hobby? Or do you think he doesn’t want to hear about your fetish for Asian Films? Think again! Whether you love to play volleyball or enjoy trying out new restaurants, cultivating an interest and then telling him all about it will keep his attention long after the date is over.
RULE #3: FIND WHAT HE LIKES
When it comes to men, the things they like are pretty universal. Sports is always a big draw, and so are movies and technology. Even music can trip his trigger. But the key is not to talk about the basic things that most men like, but to discover what THAT particular man likes. That means asking him plenty of questions about the things he enjoys. What he likes is a part of him, and getting to know him includes getting to know those likes and dislikes. Pay attention to the things he says in passing. For instance, if he mentions that he likes model submarines, make a mental note to ask him about it later. If he mentions that he grew up in New Jersey but now he lives in California, there is a story there! Make a mental note of it. If he says that he used to run a lot but he doesn’t anymore, that’s a good lead to ask him what he likes so much about running, and to find out why he doesn’t do it now. Not only will he want to talk about it, he will be impressed that you remembered and cared enough to ask.
RULE #4: BE YOURSELF
It is always important to be yourself when talking to a man. Not only does he needs to see ALL the wonderful things about you, he needs to get to know the REAL you. Everyone tries to put their best foot forward when it comes to those important first dates. You want to show yourself in the best possible light. But it is important to NEVER hide who you really are. For instance, if you tell him you loveto play pool and then he invites you to a date that includes playing the game, you are in serious trouble. He will start to doubt who you are. NEVER act like someone you aren’t! Acting like someone you aren’t is setting him up for disappointment. It is also forcing you into a lie, and that is the fastest way to end a relationship before it starts. Besides that, YOU are interesting enough for any man! There should be no reason to hide who you really are, because who you are is awesome!
RULE #5: ASK QUESTIONS
This is by far the most important point to remember. Men love to talk about themselves. Once they get going, they can talk for hours about things they like. They can go on and on and on! But they won’t start talking about themselves without the right questions. Asking questions proves that you are interested in what he has to say. It proves you are paying attention throughout the evening. It also proves that you want to know more. A woman who always wants MORE is an aphrodisiac to any man! Start with the general questions about what he does for a living, where he went to college, and what he does in his spare time. Take those answers and run with them! Before long you will be deep in a conversation about his life. Pay attention! This is when you not only hook him with your great listening skills, but you also learn more about him, so you can decide if you want to continue seeing him. His view will be clear. He won’t want the night to end!
IS IT TIME TO TALK?
If you want to go out on a date with a certain man, something he has done has already interested you. Now is your chance to get him into a good conversation that tells you even more. Don’t hesitate to talk about yourself, too. A man wants to talk about himself, but he is just as curious about you as you are about him. Give him just enough of you to make him want even more! Remember, a sweet and tiny taste is much more mysterious than a huge plate of appetizers. Let him get to know you slowly. You can do that by asking questions and finding out all about HIM instead!
The art of conversation is the major element in any relationship. Once the initial stages of a relationship pass, communication is the glue that keeps it lasting forever. : )