Do you think of the tall, strapping man on the cover of romance novels? Do you think of the handsome actors or celebrities you see on the cover of magazines? I’ll bet you envision a broad chest, strong arms, dark eyes and a take-charge attitude. The alpha male always seems to be very handsome, incredibly strong and maybe even a little bossy. And that can be very attractive! Women are drawn to alpha males like flies are drawn to honey. Much of this is biological – we are wired to seek out the strongest man. Our ancestors did it to keep themselves safe and secure in a very uncertain world. Today? We do it because alpha males still have the “I will take care of you” vibe about them. And who doesn’t love a man who can take charge of any situation? But loving the alpha males is one thing. TAMING the alpha male is quite another. How do you do it? I won’t lie to you. The answers are NOT simple. Taming the alpha male is not an easy task. That’s why many women simply stop trying. But if you have really found the ONE and he happens to be an alpha male, then learning how to tame him is a very important part of making sure your relationship WORKS. The secrets to taming an alpha male start with understanding how he reacts to the world around him and then making your mark by fitting into that world. Here’s how.
Alpha males are notorious for being hard to tame. They are like the leaders of the pack in the wild, always free and strong and doing whatever they want. Learning how to tame them is tough, but it can be done. What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “alpha male”?
TIP #1: SHOW HIM YOU ARE NOT TEMPORARY
The world of alpha males usually focuses on things that are temporary. That’s why he loves to have many women at his beck and call. He can choose which one is the flavor of the week! This also means that he will move from one relationship to another, and he will look for a “cool” woman who is okay with that. But once she starts looking for another guy for herself, the tables will turn and he will start the chase all over again. It’s a cycle! Show him you are NOT going to play his game. You can tell him that you are dating other people as long as HE is dating other people. Don’t give him a commitment until you get one in return. You can also get his attention – and keep him – by not sleeping with him too soon. Though he might be sleeping around with other women, he will notice you because you don’t do that, and he will remember you for it. Eventually, he will decide that he wants to win YOU instead.
TIP #2: LET HIM FOCUS ON HIMSELF
The alpha male has built a world that revolves around himself. At the first sign of that world being controlled by someone else, he will bolt. So let him continue to focus on himself. Give him the freedom to go out with the guys, to take vacations, to spend time doing whatever he wants to do. But when you are with him, make it as FUN as possible. Remember, the alpha male wants to have things in his life that make him happy. If YOU are what makes him happy, the more time he will want to spend with you. And the more time he spends with you, the closer and closer to LOVE he will get. And that means he will gradually settle down and want to commit to you.
TIP #3: KEEP THE CHASE GOING
Alpha males cannot stand to be bored. They need a new challenge all the time. They need something new to win. They need this just as much as they need air to breathe. So give him that by keeping the chase going. Even after he has “caught” you, make it clear that he has to continue to impress you in order to keep you. For an alpha male, simply winning you is not the end of the game. If you can keep him on his toes, he will quickly dive into the challenge of keeping you. That means the game could go on forever, and he could be quite happy with just chasing YOU for the rest of his life.
TIP #4: REALLY GET TO KNOW HIM
One of the most frustrating things about taming the alpha male is how clear he is about his feelings – or lack of them. The alpha is all about “business” when it comes to pleasure. He sees dating as a game, not as a way to find the woman of his dreams. That can lead to a great deal of hurt, and sometimes the alpha male can seem callous and cold. He might seem like the kind of man no woman would ever want to date. But there’s an interesting thing to remember about the alpha male: Underneath all that armor, there IS a wonderful, sweet, and vulnerable man who is just waiting for the right woman to understand him. You can find that guy inside by really getting to know him. Build a strong foundation of friendship with him. Learn to put up with his little quirks. Learn what makes him really tick. The more you learn about him, the more he will open up to you. Soon he might realize that you have seen the guy inside – the one that nobody ever sees. And once that happens, he will become even more vulnerable to you. That’s when you know you can get into his head AND his heart. That’s where taming him starts.
TIP #5: CONSTANTLY SURPRISE HIM
Once you’re in and you have figured out who the alpha male REALLY is, you can constantly surprise him with the little thing that other women might completely miss. For example, he might talk about how much he wants to visit a particular place. But he’s the alpha male with a serious schedule, plenty of plans and plenty of money to make those plans happen. Surprise him by ignoring all that and making those plans for the two of you. Surprise him with the plane tickets. Watch his face light up as he realizes that you really know him THAT well and you are willing to go out on a limb to show him. One of the dirty little secrets of the alpha male is that he loves to be noticed, and cared for, and romanced just as much as any other guy. He simply takes a little longer to warm up to such things. So before you throw in the towel on taming the alpha male, take a step back and decide how much patience you have. Because this guy is one that is worth your time IF you have the time to give. He can be frustrating. He can make you want to scream! But in the end, alpha males really CAN be tamed. The key is to get to know him, find out what makes him tick, and then use it to your advantage. Trust me – he will love you for it!
Here’s to taming your alpha male! 🙂