Are you interested in a man and you want to turn up the desire in him? If you’re like many women, you find it difficult to know just what you should and shouldn’t do to bring about an intense sense of desire in him. All too often, women who are too eager to get a man’s attention tend to overdo it. Attraction and desire both require a more subtle approach. Unfortunately, this is a case of the more you try, the more he’ll back away. So play it cool to keep it hot. The best and most long lasting relationships are built on a strong combination of sexual and emotional desire. Rushing either of these is not going to do your relationship any good. Sometimes you see it. The guy looks at you and he seems friendly enough. He comes over to you, talks to you for a while and you two hit it off. But the relationship stagnates on a platonic plateau. There’s no fire. No desire. The relationship fizzles and dies off. This probably leaves you with a lot of questions. What did you do wrong? Why were you unable to ignite a spark of desire? How come guys are initially attracted to you, but the relationship never blossoms into something more. At some point at lot of women will resort to amping up their sex appeal via sexy outfits. He sees you. You look hot. He gets turn on. You’re flattered by the attention. It may seem like a quick and easy way to get a guy’s attention, but that attention will be very short lived and most likely not very satisfactory to you if what you really want is a long term relationship based on love and long-lasting passion!
Instead, consider building his desire sure and slow. The intense desire you can create when you take your time can be long lasting and far more fulfilling. If you want to see intense desire burning in his eyes, and not simply a flickering of lust that will die with the morning light, getting straight to the point and jumping into bed with him is not really going to give you those results. There’s no longer anything to work towards. Nothing to fight for. Nothing to aim for. You’ve basically given him First Prize without even asking him to prove he deserves that honor. Today, I want to share with you 3 quick tips I’ve discovered over the years:
Tip #1: Mystery
I accidentally discovered the first secret years ago, when I was dating this cute guy. I was really reluctant to give him too much information about myself. Truth be told, I met him through a close friend and I was extremely cautious. So when he started asking where I worked and where I lived, I didn’t really want to tell him. I wasn’t playing a game. This wasn’t a matter of consciously thinking and planning out what I should or shouldn’t say. I just didn’t want to tell him too much about me. After all, I didn’t really know him well at this point and I saw no need for him to know certain things about me. I didn’t want him to unexpectedly show up where I worked. And I certainly didn’t want him knocking at my door at home. Unwittingly, I had created an enormous sense of intrigued and mystery. The less I wanted to answer his questions, the more it drove him nuts. (In a good way. If a guy is truly becoming angry and frustrated by your lack of answers, he will normally leave.) This kept him intrigued and eager to know more. Let him know you little by little. Sometimes, either due to nerves, habit or just a desire to open up, we can reveal way too much. For example, we may go into great detail about our jobs, the hassles, the stress, the clients, the long days, the early mornings, the paper work, the endlessly ringing phone… you see where this is going? Not only do you risk boring the guy with too many tiresome details, but you’re leaving nothing to be discovered. Everything is right there in the open. You’re not even giving him a chance to think of a question he can ask you and you’re probably hardly giving him a chance to speak either. Give a little bit, but keep a lot more for later on … During conversations with him, simply let him do a bit of talking. Consciously plan on asking him a question and give him time to elaborate without cutting him off with your own take on the topic. Not only are you trimming down the amount of information you’re giving out, but you’re also showing great interest in him and that can help in your quest to create great desire. What man doesn’t enjoy talking about himself? Praise him. Show your admiration for the things he’s ready to brag about. After all, the guy is probably telling you a lot of stuff hoping to impress you. Without gushing or making it too obvious, show him that he does, indeed, impress you. In doing so, you’re giving his ego a boost, you’re validating him and you’re making him feel a whole lot better about himself.
Tip #2: Remain Somewhat Inaccessible
Admit it. When we meet a great guy, it’s hard to resist spending every free moment we have with him. We just can’t wait to see him again and we just hate when an evening comes to an end and we have to go home, alone. Sometimes we even take this a step further; if he doesn’t call to see if we’re free, we call him to tell him we’re free. That’s a huge no-no. Not only is it not wise to call a guy and request a date, but being constantly ready to be with him can have huge drawbacks. To a certain degree you may be satisfied because you’re getting your immediate fix; you get to see him. But in the long run, you may be sending him a message that is not all that favorable. You might lead him to think that you’re a bit desperate; that you want him too much. A guy will get excited and be flattered knowing a woman wants him, but when that want is too strong and too intense, it can be a real turn off. Take a step back and let him miss you a bit. During your brief absence, his desire will grow and intensify. Telling him no when he asks you for a date will make him more eager to see you when you are free.
Tip #3: Can You Do Too Much?
Definitely. Aside from being too sexy, divulging too much and being too available, we sometimes just simply try too hard to do everything to please him in the attempt to make him desire us. In other words, we’re too nice. Relationships, whether it’s at the beginning, middle or after decades of being together, is always a delicate balance of give and take; of compromise. Of course, just about any man will appreciate a woman who is warm, giving and generous. They’ll be drawn to a woman who is compassionate and sympathetic. But when are you doing too much of a good thing? For many of us this can be difficult to gauge. After all, if you were raised to help others, to be nice or if you’ve gotten into the habit of making people like you by being ultra-nice, you may not even realize what you’re doing. Before you set out to win the desire of a man, know yourself well enough to realize how you treat men in your life. Have you been told you’re too nice before? Have girlfriends warned you to relax a bit more and not do so much? And what about men in your past? Have they mentioned that you’re overly eager to do so much makes them uneasy? If so, take into consideration what they’ve said, and really look at what you’re doing when you’re with a man. The thing is, though you may feel you’re simply being nice, your actions can be misconstrued as desperate by the guy. Watch his reaction closely and read any discomfiture when you do a good deed. Does he look at you strangely? Does he question why you even did it to begin with? Through all this, take it slow. Desire is best when it simmers, not when it’s heat blasted. Most women in this world go through life without ever realizing this power in them. As a result, they have to settle for less. That means, having an average love life with a guy they’re not crazy about. Not me! But you have to be a self centered and demanding individual who isn’t very nice. Nice doesn’t work at all. Men don’t understand or appreciate nice. They are dogs and need to be trained. Always put yourself first and them second or even third! That involves keeping up with yourself, working out, maintaining yourself and making the effort to look better than he does at all times! The more you just “throw them a bone” the more they go crazy trying to prove that they are worthy of you. LOL Better to learn late than never. 🙂