Samantha Brick will always be the elixir that mere mortals can only dear dream about…. Being a consummate and highly fawned after tabloid writer is a feat and a rarity few of us ahem can ever hope to achieve. But that observation of course flies out the window when you happen to be this week’s preferred hawt bixch on the go, Samantha ‘I can’t help being the center of my own tabloid meltdown’ Brick. Confused? Don’t be, Samantha will forthwith explain to you why being too beautiful for the likes of you and me is more hassle than its worth… Begins the hawt bixch: On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne. ‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained. You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab in Paris. Not a surprise because as a pedigree tabloid hack with skin that makes ivory bars melt and a twinkle in her eye that makes young children wince twice, the inconvenience of being perennially doted over is dare we suggest an occupational hazard that of being a dazzling joy to those seeking beauty and aesthetic clarity.
Continues our femme fatale:
Another time, as I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill.
Kids, when was the last time you had a starving actor/unemployed actor rush over and gleefully pay for your night of drinking revelries? But lest we think Samantha is full of it, even she understands there are limits to her omnipresent beauty.
While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks. And kids, here I was thinking to myself I was the only self loathing tabloid hack in the world who had graciously convinced themselves that the reason he is always being fawned and dotted over is because of my remarkable closeness to Clark Gable. Elle MacPherson Samantha? Hmm, I would of thought more Claudia Schaffer and maybe on your dieting days, Kate Moss.
Samantha, sooo many of us here at Asiance can relate, including myself! I can’t remember the last time I had to actually pay for a drink or dinner for that matter and trust ME there was NO payout or payback involved! If YOU are a REAL MAN and you want to LOOK AT ME, HEAR MY STORIES AND LAUGH, SPEND MY VALUABLE TIME with ME and/or TALK to ME, then YOU PAY, OK? Nothing else included, SORREE! The PRIVILEGE is ALL YOURS UC! Did YOU get THAT MEMO?? 🙂
Van Halen – Oh, Pretty Woman