I firmly believe that beauty is definitely not just skin deep. It goes way beyond it. Pure heart, innocence, goodness, generosity, wit are my ideals of beauty. A pretty pair of eyes may make me go all poetic but so will a gesture of forgiveness.
I fell in love with this man not just because he was incredibly good-looking, in fact still is, but because he could make me laugh, like really loud, like nobody could. I could talk anything to him and he would listen and then speak, and what he said made all the difference.
He flirted with me like I was his first love (which I wasn’t) and made me feel like I was the prettiest princess in the world. He cooked me surprises and gave me the nicest, tickliest foot massages ever. I felt alive around him and knew that I just had to be with him.
He felt the same about me and we got married. Today 2 years after my marriage, I suddenly feel that our world has changed. I am not the same girl I used to be. The romance, the serenading has all gone. But hey…wait a minute is it really gone? I might not be the same girl anymore but he is still the same guy. He still does all those things. So what went wrong with me? That will be another story , we will talk about maybe another time.
But what I realized is that it is equally important for us women to keep making an effort after the wedding too, to be that amazing, beautiful girl he fell in love with. And all my feminists out there, hear me out. We need to do it not for them, but for ourselves. Haven’t you felt that tug of incompleteness in your marriage inspite of him doing everything right? You know what that is, that is you and it’s time you make some tiny changes to turn on the magic in your marriage again and rekindle the fire. Glance over these quickly and apply them to have a happier, sassier marriage.
Spend time outdoors
There is nothing more fun than going for a run with your partner or taking a swim together, or just going rowing. Time spent outdoor is rejuvenating for our minds and bodies. So give a skip to the grocery shopping, eating out or picking up the kids for a day (no excuses, all couples can manage a day) and devote time to each other doing something fun and sporty. All that adrenaline will definitely give a kick to your chemistry too. You both will tune into each other a lot more and those great calves and abs will only be an added benefit.
Who does not appreciate beauty and who does not like being appreciated? So use those brushes and curlers once in a while. Let the mascara work its magic and do dress up and look good for your husband. Work out once in a while and bring out the red pout and those killer heels. Come on you know… those envious glances he gets from other men when you are on his arm, is such an ego booster, for him as well as for you.
Tell Him How Hot You Find Him
What? If this is your reaction then you really need to get the zing back in your marriage. I think it is a big misconception that only women should be made to feel special in a relationship. Probably a man does not need all that pampering and special attention we just can’t get enough of, but I am sure your spouse would love it if once in a while you told him just exactly how much you love his hair when he is just out of bed or how hot that blue shirt looks on him. In fact tell him what you like about him the most and also what you dislike and how and what he can do to make himself look even more dapper. That way you will know you are not the only one fretting about looking good and he will happy that you showed such an avid interest in his wardrobe and looks as well.
Go to those Baseball Matches
While giving the boys their time is definitely sweet and caring of you, surprise him once in a while by joining him in a nice jersey and shorts to his baseball matches on the ground and soccer matches at home. Get all animated about his sports frenzy, ask him questions like you used to on your initial dates. Become his best friend again, the girl he married and who knows he might get all animated about your chick-flicks too.
Plan Surprises, Give Gifts
Think how happy you get when you receive a surprise gift. It’s time you plan some surprises for him as well. Cook up his favorite dishes or sweep him up on a short trip or just buy him that camera he has been wanting to for the longest time. Infact why not you become the surprise for him in the bedroom? Splurge on some lingerie that you know will set the sheets on fire.
Cuddle a Lot
This is just so important for partners. In our busy schedules, kids, jobs, responsibilities, friends, how much time do we actually spend with each other? And when we do, we are busy talking about how much money to invest, which bills to pay, which machines are not working and how well or unwell the kids are doing in school. Agreed you may not have enough time to exchange your feelings for each other every day. But you know what? When there is not time for words, even gestures can suffice. So hold his hand, hug him tight when you sleep and wake up with a nice, long, lingering kiss, especially if you have fought the night before.
Sounds like stuff dreams are made of, apply these little things in your marriage and make your life just as dream-like at least in minutes and moments, if not every day. We all know marriage is no cake walk, it isn’t really. But having a partner for life to share all your joys and sorrows and give you a rub on the back when it’s hurting is worth investing some effort in na? Let me know what you think.
Millie Rainer is a content strategist for Adorona.com. Millie also loves being a part of the Mom blogging community and finding out how Women Entrepreneurs succeed at what they do best. Hit her up on Twitter @MillieRainer