Yellow Fever. Asian Fetish. These debatable ideas are most commonly associated with white males who have a sexual preference for Asian women. Some guys have it, other guys don't. I refer to white males for a reason only because you don't hear a lot of women with a fetish for Asian men. How often do you really hear women craving for some Asian dick? Exactly. Not too many.
I was at work watching an interview with porn star Nic Wilde. Out of his entire interview the only thing that I distinctly remembered was his love for Asian women.

"Ya, and it doesn't hurt that the girl I'm working with is smokin'. I've always wanted to have sex with an Asian woman. It's been a fantasy of mine. There's something about them that is so exotic," he said.

Exotic? I was immediately turned off. Of course he would say that. He's a porn star.

I once dated a guy who had an Asian fetish. I didn't pick up on it right away. He seemed like your Average Joe Regular- cute, funny, and charming. It was lust at first sight. But I was fooled by the tip of his iceberg. My first suspicion should have been the all-Asian party that I met him at. He wooed me with sweet words, a dance, and a free drink. After that we started going on several dates. I started to pick up on little things during the first night we went out. For dinner he suggested that we go to a Thai restaurant. I didn't suspect anything at that point. Who doesn't like Thai food? Later that night we met up with some of his friends and grabbed a couple of drinks. We ended up at bar called "Yellow" in Chinatown. The name gave it away. Obviously.

I looked around and everyone there was Asian. He stopped by the bar to say hello to the owner who gave us free bottle service. Apparently, he'd been here before. A lot. I figured it was our first date so I shouldn't make any judgments yet. On our second date we went back to Chinatown for dim sum. The subject of past relationships came up.

"So you're Filipino, right? My last girlfriend was Filipino," he said.

"Oh?" I replied.

I was confused. I wasn't sure how to respond. Was he trying to find something in common to share? What was he was trying to get at here? With more investigation, I found out that his past relationships were with a Chinese and a Korean girl. I was convinced. He was diagnosed with Yellow Fever. That was the last time I saw him.

It skeeves me out to think that a guy I'm dating was mainly attracted to me because of my ethnicity. I never understood the fixation for one specific race. But lately, I've been starting to think differently. As I started dating more guys, my dating circle began to grow and so did my curiosity. My first boyfriend was Filipino; the second was half Japanese, half Italian; my current boyfriend is white. Well, Irish to be more technical. Tyghe, my current boyfriend, is the epitome of your typical white guy. He loves sports. He lives and breathes for football. He plays in a rugby league. You can catch him in front of the TV watching Sunday and Monday night football all season long. His wardrobe consists of anything Abercrombie and flip-flops. And, his face is covered with freckles. If that doesn't scream "white guy," then I don't know what does.

Dating a white guy has always piqued my curiosity. I never understood my reasons for wanting to date, not someone who was just white, but someone out of my race. I've always wondered, "Would the sex be any different?", "Is it really that much better?", or "How large would their dicks be?" Questions like these never crossed my mind when I was dating Asian guys. Does this make me guilty of the same thing that I blame white guys for? Guess so. In my case it would be the Reverse Fetish-ism as my friends would put it- an infatuation for white guys. Is this what guys with Asian fetishes think about? How kinky we are in bed? How tight our pussies are? Are we submissive? Do they think that me really love them long time?

A part of the reason why I'm more inclined to date someone who's not Asian is because of the tall tales my mother would tell me about men out there. While most Asian parents encouraged to date inside their race, my mother was the exact opposite. She has built this image in my head of the ideal guy. He would sweep me away in his Lexus and take me back to his castle. Who was, by the way, white. He reminded me of a mythological creature that only existed in the land of unicorns, fairies, and leprechauns.

"Anak, make sure you date a pute (white) guy. He should be well-educated, rich, come from a good family, has a car, and has blue eyes! Don't date a Filipino guy. All Filipino men are lazy. They're use to be taken care of. Look at your dad! All I do is take care of him! Find someone who will take care of you, not the other way around."

When I first told my mother I was dating a new guy she asked me a series of questions to find out whether or not he was good enough for me to date. It felt like I was taking a pass or fail quiz.

"What does he do?" she started off with.

"Insurance," I responded.

"Where does he live?" she continued. This translated to "Does he have a car to drive you to Long Island if we want to meet him?"

"He lives in Westchester, mom"

"He lives upstate? That's so far." Minus one point. He was officially locationally undesirable. As I answered her questions I can see her taking mental notes in her head. Then finally the main answer she wanted to know.

"So, what is he?" my mom asked. I can hear the drum rolls going.

"He's white."

My mom raised her eyebrows, impressed. Bingo. I passed with flying colors. In his case, he did too. I didn't have to specify what his nationality was because to her it was all the same. Knowing that he was white was good enough for her.

This is not to say that dating a white guy will always score me brownie points with my mother or that I only have a preference for them. There is a fine line. At this point, I realized, why should it matter? That's because it shouldn't. Men have their fetish for Asian women while I have mine for a guy who wears flip-flops and loves football.

To contact Elysia check out her MyAsiance page at my.asiancemagazine.com/elysia