Writing is a Lonely Way of Life
April 07, 2006 7

Writing is a Lonely Way of Life

Writing is a lonely way of life. So when I get an email from a fan - ”especially a male fan - ”it makes an otherwise dull day that much more exciting. And for every admirer who sends me a thoughtful and charming note about how he enjoyed reading my book, I get at least three emails like this one:

What scares me more is the fear of disappointing someone who has me built up in his head. When I hear the words, "You're so normal in person," I know that it's time to go home.

Jessica Cutler

Hello Jessica... I have the Flour for ur cake sale at no charge for u. Just a little loving will bring the snow in. Im about 15 minutes from u im from the Bronx. E mail me back if ur interested Mami.. U might not want to pass this offer cause i always have it

Intriguing, but I don't do the Bronx. And how do I know this person isn't a cop, or some goofy blogger playing a practical joke on me? Even if this person seriously wanted a "blow-for-blow" encounter, it wouldn't do for a published author to respond in kind. I mean, contrary to popular belief, I'm really not a coke whore. Really.

Okay, maybe sometimes. But meeting a stranger in the outer boroughs probably isn't worth the risk. Even when I get a polite email from a seemingly nice guy asking me out on a proper date, I'm just as hesitant to accept. What's the worst that can happen? Have you ever seen Misery? Not a likely scenario, but not entirely impossible, either.

What scares me more is the fear of disappointing someone who has me built up in his head. When I hear the words, "You're so normal in person," I know that it's time to go home. Yes, I have dated a few fans. I decided to stop living scared and take a chance on this new source of available men, and the results have been predictably mixed.

The first time I took a fan home, he smiled at me the morning after and said, "I just fucked Jessica Cutler," as if he had just sank my battleship. Exactly the type of guy I'm trying to avoid. So I played it demure the second time, which only confused the poor guy. He later admitted that he expected me to be more aggressive. A date with Jessica Cutler is supposed to be an easy lay, and I don't want to disappoint anyone, or hurt their feelings. So should I jump on these guys at the end of the night or what?

It's like I'm learning to date all over again.

Join Jessica Cutler every month here at www.asiancemagazine.com and www.jessicacutleronline.com where she writes about dating, sex and relationships.

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  1. The Senator's Avatar
    The Senator
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    So, who was the male fan? Probably someone from Washington, DC, huh.
  2. Benjamin's Avatar
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    Men will be attracted to you for the simplicity you present, wrapped in the complexity of the truth. Yes, they'll be star-fucking, but you chose to light that star. Project what you want more than what you allow to happen to you.
  3. Duke of DC's Avatar
    Duke of DC
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    That there was some seriously deep thinkin'! Yee-haw. If you show up in some Daisy Dukes with half yer tail end showin', yer gonna be treated like a girl who wears 'em. If you show up in a sun dress, then woo-wee, datin' won't be so tuff.
  4. Not Amused in NYC's Avatar
    Not Amused in NYC
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    So the Duke is 3 mint juleps into the morning and the garbage that he smokes tells him that what you really need to do to meet a "normal" man is to stop wearing daisy dukes? Honey, you have a great ass, but showing it off in the 'dukes is not the way to go so I agree here with the Duke. But really, you'll end up with the same lame fucks everytime if it's only about the clothes. Plenty of men would love to get worked by you and they aren't in need of such banal enticements. Make the lucky few (or at least those you do) at least earn it a little (no reference to aforementioned sex for profit shenanagins) with random acts of entertainment or dare I say original conversation (you'll have to leave DC for this). Stop pandering to the bottom of the barrel and you're more likely to find a better selection (and more than likely a better lay).
  5. Geoff Malicoat's Avatar
    Geoff Malicoat
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    While taking a break and reading some legitimately law-related news I stumbled upon a story discussing you. I was intrigued and I hopped in the rabbit hole. I start my law school exams in about 62 hours. Rather than studying I read your blogs, and your columns. Like I said in my subject line, I am a recovering journalist and law school is my recovery group. I hope reading you doesn't knock me off the wagon. Anyway, the purpose of this message was to compliment you and your work, it just inexplicably took a paragraph to tell you.
  6. Bill Clinton's Avatar
    Bill Clinton
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    So Jessica, do you know Monica Lewinsky? Do you suck cock better than she does? I'd like to sink your battleship with my pink torpedo. B-8? You are too smart too be such a cheap ho. You should be charging more. E-1? Shit, here comes Hillary, gotta run. L8r.
  7. Jennifer's Avatar
    April 04, 2006 Reply
    Hey Mr. Clinton,<br /> Instead of asking Jessica how she performs why dont you keep it in your pants. While you are at it stick that cigar up another orafice, preferably on yourself.

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