All Flash, No Cash
I used to date this guy. Let’s call him Kevina. Kevina had this problem a lot of the loser men who decide to take on the Manhattan scene in search of what else? getting laid, seem to have. They go through all sorts of planning and scheming to give the illusion of a life they could never possibly achieve, in search of the ultimate prize: hot, young chicks. He’s the type of guy who leases high class cars, bums drinks off friends, borrows cash and mysteriously disappears when bills or paybacks are due, you know? A real scumbag. Usually I can spot this type of man a mile away, a complete wannabe, who tries to hobnob with the New York elite, yet fakes his education, salary and job history. Sooner or later you get caught.
Kevina and I met in 2006, at the Soho Grand, when times were good, people were generous, drinks were flowing, bottles were popping and he was still able to make his Jaguar lease payments. He was your standard mid 40s, divorced white boy. Yeah I know what you’re thinking! Why am I wasting my time on a divorce man with enormous baggage? Well he was sexy, in good shape, had a nice car, knew the right people (or so I thought) and I never once had to pay for a drink while we were out (neither did he, I now remember).
But what I came to find out was a desperate act to parlay his million dollar fantasy into a Manhattan life full of lies, deceit, unfaithfulness and social climbing.
We would frequently go to events and outings with Kevina’s friend Jack, a highfalutin hedge fund founder who easily picked up the tab for all of us. Kevina never once picked up the check. I never thought about what a cheap son of a b*tch he was at all during our “courtship”. I thought maybe Kevina brought in some business for Jack, based on his extensive list of “contacts” and name dropping but after doing a background check on Kevina, I realized he wasn’t at all what he was portraying himself to be. He was ALL FLASH AND NO CASH.
Kevina boasted about his fledgling internet business and how he made a million dollars a year. I believed him. His $2,000 suits and 2007 brand new Jaguar were hard to imagine it coming from a man who came from nothing. He had to have been exposed to some sort of sophistication throughout his life. But what I came to find out was a desperate act to parlay his million dollar fantasy into a Manhattan life full of lies, deceit, unfaithfulness and social climbing.
After about 6 months of Kevin and me hanging out, I started to put a few things together. We went on about 2 intimate dates. The rest of the dates was spent hanging out with Jack, or others, with someone else picking up the bill!
We always went home to MY apartment. He wanted sex right away! He was so horny to the point of desperation, unbecoming for a man with all this cash. Like chill out on the flash. Am I right?
Eventually I asked Kevina’s friend Jack what the hell was up with this guy. Jack stumbled and blurted out, “He’s married with 2 kids in the suburbs. He’s supposedly working on a divorce”.
THIS MADE SENSE. WOMEN! TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
I cut off all ties with this loser and believe you & me, it was not easy. He wept like a baby. He wept like a little bald baby. A bald baby with a matching bald wee wee. What married loser with 2 children weeps over a mistress, once he’s caught in his web of lies? A pussy that is who. A pussy who can’t even afford to keep a mistress. Hey buddy – when you’re trying to live in the fast lane without any gas, you’re eventually going to break down!
Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.
See, when a recession hits, that’s when the walls come tumbling down. What is that Warren Buffet expression? Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked. Exactamundo! Living a lie eventually catches up to you.
Fast forward to May 2010.
Jack called me out of the blue. His hedge fund blew up and he was essentially homeless. He was evicted from the apartment Kevina was allowed to crash at when he was not at my place or whoever else he was dating. Jack called me for money. I gave him $2,000.
Kevina is still living in the suburbs. He never did get an apartment in the city. He never could afford a divorce. He did lose the Jaguar. Loser!
Ladies:
A little word to the wise-
1) Have men buy your drinks. Whether you are looking for sex or not, the man should be a gentleman and buy your drinks, particularly if he is talking to you. I do not want to hear, “I don’t want a gold-digger.” It’s a cop out. Sophisticated women do not waste their time on cheap asses with no class.
2) See his apartment or where he lives. This still does not mean he does not have a wife and kids in the suburbs. It just means he CAN AFFORD to have a wife and kids in the suburbs.
3) VERY Horny men, usually mean the man is married. He is not afforded too many nights out and when he is, it’s usually a “guy’s night”. If you ever find out he is married with children, you will not be in the land of high class mistresses because he can’t afford hookers or other women.
4) Size and stamina does matter. Don’t waste your time otherwise.
5) Don’t waste your time on a man who doesn’t pull out his wallet.
6) If you have any inclination he is a cheap ass, run for the suburbs!!!
@nancylee
Ladies:
A little word to the wise-
1)…Sophisticated women do not waste their time on cheap asses with no class.
Yep Nancy Lee, that’s why ladies like you are stupid c*nt b*tches, we men who are genuine and with average income who doesn’t pretend to be anything… you are type of “ladies”2 we despise and you are all very well earned to meet such a douche bag for an all flash no cash guy.
F*ck you Nancy Lee HAHAHA 🙂
oh look at you tough guy. Calling women c*nt and b*tches…ohhh yeah, surely you land tons of a$$. There are cheap asses who have no class with average incomes too. It’s not limited to the RICH.. So re-read my column again.
I didnt finish reading your article because it was the same story about how you AGAIN got played by another blue eyed devil. You Suzy Wong are Cheap and Stupid
I didnt finish reading your article because it was the same story about how you AGAIN got played by another blue eyed devil. You Suzy Wong are Cheap and Stupid
I didnt finish reading your article because it was the same story about how you AGAIN got played by another blue eyed devil. You Suzy Wong are Cheap and Stupid
Oh well look at you?! words of wisdow straight from the horses mouth..nnnneeeeiiiggghhh! I’d really like to see what you look like..Honestly. Virgin!
Ladies a word to the wise
DONT read this crap. DONT visit this site anymore.
Why would you read or believe anything from someone that doesnt reveal their
true identity.
Suzy Wong Aka Nancy Lee might not be asian, she might not be a woman.
To Everyone involved in producing this site I give you a Sincere F**K Y**
Ur an agry little asian male virgin aren’t you. Well then move on. ta ta! Why don’t you reveal yourself, virgin?
I will bookmark and continue reading your blog in the future! Thanks alot for the informative post!
I often read your blog and always find it very interesting. Thought it was about time i let you know…Keep up the great work
Typical female in NYC doing finance, always seeking reassurance and taking every opportunity to prove your worth to others. It’s obvious in your writing, “Jack called me for money. I gave him $2,000.” What’s the point in writing that tangent? That statement on its own lacks any trace of sophistication whatsoever.
The bottom line is you slept with this bald baby/bald wee wee “loser” for 6 months, before realizing that he didn’t have what you were looking for: MONEY. Why do you think you haven’t yet found that guy who’s got it made financially, physically, socially? It’s because he knows how to protect himself and his assets by spotting the gold-diggers like you.
I thought this article had good advice. She has high standards for herself and the men she dates. She wasn’t only looking for a man with money. The fact is money is a good indicator of a man’s character if he created his own wealth. He had her believing he was the type of guy that was capable of taking care of himself and making things happen in the world. Her fault lies in the fact that she didn’t question him about the repeated times someone else had picked up the tab. And hey, the “$2000 tangent” was just further proof that losers cling together like flies on crap. Seriously, he calls for money after 3 years. Those 2 were certifiable losers.
I’ve met people like this author, and more power to them if they can find happiness in their outlook. My personal experience is that they do not find happiness and end up making mistakes after turning 40 because they make quick decisions out of a fear of never finding “the one.”
Nancy Lee does seem to be very materialistic. However, making a quick decision after turning 40 is the kiss of death. Most women have a hard time from 40 onwards finding quality men. That might be a major reason for their fear and making “quick decisions.” Women have it harder than men and the ages of 40 and 50 are huge milestones for them. That still doesn’t make it right however.
It is also important to note that sometimes, if a woman over 40 makes a “quick decision” about a man it is because she KNOWS intuitively that HE IS THE ONE. Once you reach a certain age, you just KNOW. After thousands of guys pursue you, someone finally stands out in the crowd! That is so RARE. My advice is that if you find it and feel it — go for it! It is true what they say about feeling something completely different than you have ever felt before. It is a weird intensive yet nostalgic CHEMISTRY. I can’t put my finger on it. It is also a little scary because it is very powerful and almost takes control over you. But you’ll know because it is something you never felt before with anyone else. Unfortunately, some people don’t find that until after 40. Is that such a crime?? The chances of it working out are slim however; because if the person is taken, women will try to convince HIM that you are making a “quick decision” because you are 40+ and afraid that you aren’t going to meet THE ONE which is pure manipulative bullshit! It is a ploy to keep someone who is already growing apart. You may be heartbroken but better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all! Keep your chin up, be positive, learn from your mistakes, and use the material to write a great novel or screenplay like my idol Nora Ephron!
Regardless, finding someone doesn’t bring you happiness. You have to be happy within yourself and with your own life before you share it with anyone, regardless of age. Being single and dating is still better than faking it in a miserable marriage and I think that was her point. Maybe that is her fear. Staying in a miserable marriage because she sees how other people are STUCK in them. I really wouldn’t know.