\nLast week in Dallas, President Obama and all the living ex-presidents of the United States came together for the dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Center. Watching the ceremony made me so proud to be a Phi Tau Delta brother! <\/p>\n
Never heard of us Phi Tau Delts? We\u2019re an international fraternity that I joined almost four years ago. Our members include both President Obama and President Bush (the younger). But we\u2019re not all high and mighty; in fact, you probably know one of us personally.<\/p>\n
Who are we? We\u2019re all the fathers in the world who have two daughters! (Phi Tau Delta stands for Fathers of Two Daughters.) Now, membership in Phi Tau Delta can bring numerous blessings. But membership can also bring numerous challenging moments. For example:
\n
\n\u2022 When a brother\u2019s first daughter is born, he gets all flustered as he changes diapers for the first time, calling to his wife, \u201cWhich direction was I supposed to wipe her down here?\u201d (This is followed by, \u201cThere sure are a lot of places poo can get stuck down here!\u201d)<\/p>\n
\u2022 When his daughter\u2019s hair gets long enough, he realizes that nothing in life has prepared him for the near-impossible task of making piggytails.<\/p>\n
\u2022 In her preschool years, she renders him completely speechless (and panicked) when she asks him to marry her.<\/p>\n
\u2022 He sheds a tear on the inside when she doesn\u2019t want to hold his hand anymore.<\/p>\n
\u2022 In her teen years, she again renders him speechless (and more panicked) when she combines, in one sentence, the word \u201cme\u201d with \u201ca guy\u201d and \u201cdate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2022 As his younger daughter grows older, he loses his paternal mojo when the things that worked in parenting her older sister don\u2019t work with her.<\/p>\n
\u2022 In his daughters\u2019 grown-up years, when they put their arms in his, and he escorts them down the aisle, he proudly sheds tears on the outside, wishing he had more of those challenging moments.<\/p>\n
(Cue misty-eye-and-sniffle-inducing daddy-daughter song. For example, \u201cButterfly Kisses.\u201d)
\n
\nOkay, so some of these moments are more challenging than others. But all these moments can leave a Phi Tau Delta man wondering what to do or say. That\u2019s where membership has its privileges! Who better to give me counsel, when I\u2019m a frustrated Father of Two Daughters, than an experienced Father of Two Daughters? I personally have sought out and received from my brethren both encouragement and parenting ideas (and just as importantly, loads of hand-me-downs).<\/p>\n
But we Phi Tau Delts also know we can\u2019t afford to be fraternity snobs. We need the assistance of Omicron Kappa Taus (Our Kids\u2019 Teachers), Mu Beta Sigmas (Mature Baby Sitters), Chi Alpha Upsilons (Cool Aunties and Uncles), and Sigma Gamma Pis (Spoiling Grand Parents), just to name a few.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s my point \u2013 raising Asian American daughters \u201ctakes a village,\u201d to use Hillary Clinton\u2019s words. Moms and dads need other parents for support and category_idance in their parenting. And each of us, whether a parent or not, has a role to play in nurturing and empowering the next generation of Asian American girls (and boys, too, for that matter). Together, we can help them learn to honor the emotionally healthier aspects of their Asian cultural heritage while appropriating also the healthier aspects of American culture. Together, we can also work to create social change so young Asian Americans will inherit a more just and compassionate society.<\/p>\n
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German pastor who died in a Nazi prison camp, wrote, \u201cThe test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.\u201d I trust that this is a test that we\u2019ll more than pass!
\n<\/p>\n
(A portion of this post first appeared on FINDINGbalance<\/i>.com.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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