She took the words right out of my mouth.<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n
Actually, she said it better than I could. So I\u2019ll let you hear her say it. \u201cShe\u201d and \u201cher\u201d refer to Frances Kai-Hwa Wang, who wears many hats, including those of writer, educator, activist, and mom. About a year and a half ago (Dec. 31, 2011, to be exact), she wrote a tour de force<\/i> column on parenting for InCultureParent.com<\/a>, the entirety of which is worth reading. I\u2019ve excerpted some of the parts that most resonated with me. Her topic in these sections is the same as the column\u2019s original title: \u201cHow to Raise Strong and Confident Asian Pacific American Daughters.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n At one point in the piece, she discusses how grown-ups can help Asian American girls to discern between the good and the bad in princess stories and other fictions:<\/p>\n Sleeping Beauty spends most of the story asleep, waiting for the Handsome Prince to rescue her with a kiss. Snow White also spends much of her story sleeping, waiting for her Handsome Prince to rescue her with a kiss. Little Mermaid takes one look at the unconscious Handsome Prince and falls in love with him, forsaking her family and identity as a mermaid. Rapunzel agrees to marry the first man she ever meets (a Handsome Prince, of course) during their first conversation. Pandora and Goldilocks are punished for being curious. Little Red Riding Hood is too dumb to tell the difference between her grandmother and a wolf, and has to wait for the huntsman to rescue her and her<\/i> Po Po. <\/p>\n If you do not like these types of one-dimensional characters or themes, discuss alternate endings with your daughters. Or sneak in qualifying phrases like, \u201cAfter they got to know each other really well and became good friends, they decided to get married.\u201d Or add additional virtues to the description of the kind and beautiful princess \u2014 she was also brave, smart, honest, generous, and compassionate.<\/p>\n When your daughters reach their teens and start noticing how many Asian women fall in love with the White male lead for no reason or end up dead by the end of the movie, talk to them about stereotypes in television and the movies. Teach them to be movie critics.<\/i><\/p>\n Later, she talks about the importance of having Asian American role models for Asian American girls:<\/p>\n Always be on the lookout for Asian and Asian American women who can be inspirational and exciting role models for your daughters.<\/p>\n American schools do not teach much about Asians and Asian Americans, but you can work these into your child\u2019s own curriculum. For example, for chess class, my second-grader was asked to write a biography on a chess grandmaster or world champion. The instructor suggested a bunch of old White guys and dead White guys. My daughter said that she wanted to write about a Chinese woman chess champion. After some searching online, we found Xie Jun, a four-time women\u2019s world champion from Beijing. We learned that Xie Jun was so good because her father taught her to play Chinese chess before she learned to play standard chess. Soon after, my daughter was trying to learn to play Chinese chess, too.<\/p>\n When my daughters\u2019 school put up a bulletin board for Women\u2019s History Month and neglected to put up a single Asian American (unconscionable in a school that is 30% Asian), I protested and gave them some suggestions. Immediately, Kalpana Chawla\u2019s face and bio were added to the display for the whole school to see, and my daughters knew that it was because I had spoken up.<\/i><\/p>\n Again, Frances writes much more in her piece; please check it out. The point of these excerpts is to say that we adults can help the Asian American girls in our lives to identify and emulate strength of character – and if they can see it in Asian American women, their self-confidence will grow even more!<\/p>\n My deep appreciation goes out to Frances for giving permission for me to use her words to talk about Raising Asian American Daughters! To read Frances\u2019 personal blog, head to FrancesKaiHwaWang.com<\/a>. To hear her speak at the V3 Asian American Digital Media Conference in Los Angeles in mid-June, head to the Activism Panel, which will also feature Phil Yu (a.k.a. Angry Asian Man) and Lisa Lee (of Thick Dumpling Skin and formerly of Hyphen Magazine).<\/p>\n UPDATED:<\/b><\/i> Just saw this! V3 (June 14-15 in L.A.) is keeping its discounted registration rate through June 7! After that, it goes up by another $30 until June 12, after which online registration closes. So get movin’, and register now!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" She took the words right out of my mouth. Actually, she said it better than I could. 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