{"id":16218,"date":"2013-10-12T23:10:04","date_gmt":"2013-10-12T23:10:04","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2013-11-01T18:11:12","modified_gmt":"2013-11-01T18:11:12","slug":"Being-There","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/?p=16218","title":{"rendered":"Being There"},"content":{"rendered":"

I see my new friend almost every time I visit our local drugstore.<\/strong> He\u2019s the greeter and security guard at the front door. He\u2019s there a lot. Therein lies a tale.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Months ago, I figured he was ex-military. We\u2019d salute each other, and I\u2019d jokingly say, \u201cAt ease!\u201d or \u201cAs you were!\u201d and we\u2019d both laugh. His good humor and ready smile are contagious.<\/p>\n

Waiting for my sister to finish her shopping in the store this afternoon, I struck up a conversation with my new friend, instead of just whizzing by and wishing him a great day. <\/p>\n

I said, \u201cYou\u2019re here a lot. That\u2019s good, I hope. Why so many hours?\u201d
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cThe young guy they hired often fails to make it. My boss has to call me in. I get paid time-and-a-half for over-time. My boss wishes he didn\u2019t have to pay me so much, but he needs someone here he can rely on.\u201d
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cWhen we were growing up, there was a stronger sense that one needed to be reliable on the job.<\/strong> Are you ex-military?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty years in the Air Force.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was a mechanic servicing, among other things, the radar systems for B-52s, those giant bombers that carried big bombs, including H-bombs.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty-six years as a guard in the Corrections Department, including time serving in Sing-Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScary stuff!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI grew up in a bad part of New Haven. Nothing new to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMarried?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe triumph of optimism over experience!\u201d My standard reply, having been married twice myself, this last one a big success.<\/p>\n

He laughed. He did not mention a current wife, so I assumed he had three divorces to match his marriages, but maybe his last ended in a funeral.<\/p>\n

My sister emerged from the store with her bag of stuff. My new friend and I shook hands, wished each other well. We\u2019ll meet again. We\u2019ll ask each other our names next time, not that this is crucial. We are already friends.<\/p>\n

In the 1979 comedic film Being There<\/em>, Peter Sellers played Chance, the gardener, whose simplistic statements were widely mistaken as profundity, perhaps because he was present at many historic moments. Some big Washington reputations may rest on not much more, the film hints.
\n<\/strong>
\nWoody Allen once claimed, \u201cShowing up is eighty percent of life.\u201d We ourselves may sometimes say that someone is \u201calways there\u201d for us. Not only work but also dating, marriage, and parenting put a premium on proximity.
\n<\/strong>
\nMy career tip: show up\u2026be there\u2026and don\u2019t be late.
\n<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Dr. Cooper is a retired scientist, now a writer, author and writing coach. His first book, Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage and Devotion<\/em>, was published by Outskirts Press in 2011 and is available from Outskirts Press, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble, in paperback and ebook formats, as are his co-authored memoirs The Shield of Gold<\/em> and Ava Gardner\u2018s Daughter?<\/em> and the memoir he edited, High Shoes and Bloomers.<\/em> His writer-coaching web site is http:\/\/writeyourbookwithme.com<\/a>.<\/em> His new friend is William Harris.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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