Women are having nearly as many extramarital affairs as men, one study finds. What leads women to stray and what should you do if you\u2019re tempted to cheat? Read on for answers…<\/p>\n
\u201cX-Factor\u201d judge Simon Cowell, who is 54 and single, is a father as the result of an extramarital affair.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s not a surprise, but this is: It was the woman \u2013 not the man \u2013 who cheated on her husband. Say goodbye to the stereotype that women aren\u2019t wired for cheating.<\/p>\n
Men still hold the lead as cheaters, but women are quickly closing the gap. The percentage of cheating wives rose 40% from 1990 to 2010, according to a July 2013 National Opinion Research Center (NORC) survey. About 15% of married women admitted to extramarital affairs; the percentage of philandering men remained at 21%.<\/p>\n
Some experts aren\u2019t surprised that more women are cheating.<\/p>\n
\u201cWomen today are more vocal about having their sexual and other needs met \u2013 even outside of marriage,\u201d says criminal investigator Danine Manette, an infidelity expert and author of\u00a0Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing With Infidelity (Square One Publishers).<\/p>\n
Why are there so many more cheating women? Here the top 6 reasons why women cheat.<\/p>\n
1. They can afford to.<\/strong> \u201cMost women are paid salaries and don\u2019t fear divorce, as women did in the 1950s, \u201960s, \u201970s and \u201980s,\u201d says sociologist Julie Albright, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist and lecturer at University of Southern California in Los Angeles.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re looking for personal and sexual fulfillment \u2013 a friend, lover and partner\u201d \u2013 and there are many places to find that, she adds.<\/p>\n 2. Cheating at the click of a button.<\/strong> Cheating women once had to sneak off to public phone booths to make plans with a lover. Now they can call or text on personal cell phones or connect on dating and social media websites, Manette says.<\/p>\n The pool of available men, in the office or online, is now huge and offers many more opportunities to cheat.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you had an old high school flame, you can reconnect with him on Facebook,\u201d Manette says. \u201cEmails turn to conversations, which turn into emotional affairs, [and] next is the physical affair.\u201d<\/p>\n Online dating sites, like AshleyMadison.com, also have made it easy for women\u2019s eyes to wander.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s all done with the click of a button,\u201d Manette says.<\/p>\n 3. The definition of cheating is looser.<\/strong> These affairs have sexual chemistry and emotional intimacy,\u00a0and are kept secret from the spouse, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Even if you\u2019re \u201cjust friends,\u201d these are still affairs under the AAMFT definition.<\/p>\n \u201cCheating is anything you\u2019re doing of a romantic or sexual nature with a person outside of your marriage that you wouldn\u2019t do in the presence of your spouse,\u201d Manette says. \u201cIt\u2019s the violation of the set parameters for each individual relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n One example is \u201csexting\u201d \u2013 sending sexually explicit messages or photos via cell phones or e-mail, as New York politician Andrew Weiner did \u2013 twice. [What do you think? Chaste or Cheating?]<\/p>\n Most people \u2013 85% of women and 74% of men \u2013 believe that sexting is cheating even if there\u2019s no physical sex, according to a July 2013 YouGov poll of 1,000 U.S. adults.<\/p>\n Yet women are likelier to have \u201cemotional affairs\u201d now than in the past. Two-thirds of women had cheated online while they were in a serious relationship; half of the men had done so, the Internet infidelity study found. Women are also more likely than men to \u201csext.\u201d<\/p>\n 4. Women want \u2013 and like \u2013 sex.<\/strong> Not true, according to Albright: \u201cWomen have a strong sex drive, but they\u2019re taught to mask it to be marriageable in society.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s also a myth that women are less able than men to separate sex from an emotional connection.<\/p>\n \u201cIn reality, [women] want sex,\u201d Albright says. \u201cIt\u2019s wishful thinking to assume that women use sex only for intimacy.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s backed by a 2012 study published in the journal Sex & Marital Therapy. Partnered women whose sex drive was higher than their partners\u2019 were less satisfied than men in the same situation, according to the researchers.<\/p>\n 5. Cheating is more culturally acceptable.<\/strong> \u201cPopular culture, especially movies, reinforced the stereotype that women who had sex outside of marriage became suicidal or crazy,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Between 1970 and 2006, women\u2019s sexual behavior shifted to include more sexual relationships. The number of women\u2019s sexual partners increased from 1.8 in 1970 to 3.3 in 2006; for men, the figure remained about the same \u2013 11.8 versus 11.6, according to a 2010 French study published in the journal AIDS.<\/p>\n Among the reasons: more women in the work force, greater freedom in society and oral contraception.<\/p>\n When the birth control pill became available in the 1960s, women became less worried about unwanted pregnancies and more free to explore their sexuality \u2013 including having extramarital affairs, Albright says.<\/p>\n TV also influenced morals.<\/p>\n By 1998, when the TV show \u201cSex and the City\u201d began airing, women were much more willing to talk about their sexual desires, Manette adds.<\/p>\n \u201cWomen had \u2018Sex and the City\u2019 parties and talked about affairs and having their sexual needs met,\u201d she says. \u201cGuys always had that freedom, but this was the first show that had women talking about being sexually satisfied \u2026 without the social repercussions earlier generations faced.\u201d<\/p>\n 6. Women just want to have fun.<\/strong> Affairs are attractive because they\u2019re fantasy \u2013 no one\u2019s picking up dirty socks or doing other unglamorous marital activities, Albright says.<\/p>\n \u201cDuring the fun stage of courting, you don\u2019t deal with lifestyle issues that marriage brings to the table,\u201d Albright says. 1. Imagine that your partner is your audience. Would he feel OK about your behavior at the office, such as sending emails and making personal phone calls to another man? If not, avoid it.<\/p>\n 2. Avoid going for drinks with co-workers, acquaintances or strangers of the opposite sex. It lowers inhibitions and raises the risk of cheating.<\/p>\n 3. Keep business relationships businesslike. Avoid out-of-the-office meetings with someone you\u2019re attracted to. Instead, arrange group meetings. Also steer clear of meetings in bars and restaurants.<\/p>\n 4. Assume you\u2019ll get caught. Is the pain and suffering that an affair will cause your family worth the ego boost and pleasure? The truth almost always comes out; the road to recovery afterward often is difficult.<\/p>\n By lifescript<\/a> Women are having nearly as many extramarital affairs as men, one study finds. What leads women to stray and what<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":665,"featured_media":72448,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[1006,1007,2087,1,2111,1008],"tags":[2115,2116,2123,2117],"class_list":["post-18175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-relationship","category-health","category-lifestyle","category-news","category-sex-and-health","category-sex-in-the-city","tag-dating","tag-health","tag-lifestyle","tag-sex-in-the-city"],"magazineBlocksPostFeaturedMedia":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u-113x150.jpg","medium":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","medium_large":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","large":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","1536x1536":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","2048x2048":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-highlighted-post":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-featured-post-medium":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-featured-post-small":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u-113x90.jpg","colormag-featured-image":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-default-news":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u-113x150.jpg","colormag-featured-image-large":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-elementor-block-extra-large-thumbnail":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-elementor-grid-large-thumbnail":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-elementor-grid-small-thumbnail":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg","colormag-elementor-grid-medium-large-thumbnail":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg"},"magazineBlocksPostAuthor":{"name":"1isa","avatar":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b75b71b77a8e0bf2a6b984e341d54b65846ae8f4c20efde16702e95ffe4d8e65?s=96&d=mm&r=g"},"magazineBlocksPostCommentsNumber":"1","magazineBlocksPostExcerpt":"Women are having nearly as many extramarital affairs as men, one study finds. What leads women to stray and what","magazineBlocksPostCategories":["Dating & relationships","Health","Lifestyle","News","Sex & Health","Sex In The City"],"magazineBlocksPostViewCount":198,"magazineBlocksPostReadTime":7,"magazine_blocks_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg",113,170,false],"medium":["https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u.jpg",113,170,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/u-113x150.jpg",113,150,true]},"magazine_blocks_author":{"display_name":"1isa","author_link":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/?author=665"},"magazine_blocks_comment":1,"magazine_blocks_author_image":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b75b71b77a8e0bf2a6b984e341d54b65846ae8f4c20efde16702e95ffe4d8e65?s=96&d=mm&r=g","magazine_blocks_category":"Dating & relationships<\/a> Health<\/a> Lifestyle<\/a> News<\/a> Sex & Health<\/a> Sex In The City<\/a>","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/665"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18175\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/72448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nThe No. 1 reason more women are cheating: They\u2019re more financially independent. Higher-paying jobs allow them to forget about potential financial consequences if an extramarital affair leads to divorce, the NORC survey revealed. Women today are less likely to see incomes fall after divorce. In fact, one-fifth of divorced women saw their incomes rise more than 25%, because of their better earning power, according to a 2012 Pew Charitable Trust survey.<\/p>\n
\nTechnology has made it easier to have extramarital affairs.<\/p>\n
\nTechnology has also made it easier to have \u201cemotional affairs,\u201d with no physical contact.<\/p>\n
\nFor centuries, Western culture has held that women\u2019s sex drives were less intense than men\u2019s and that it was easier for them to stay in a monogamous relationship.<\/p>\n
\nBefore the \u201970s, women were supposed to think that sex was their wifely duty, says Albright, whose studies focus on the history and myths of women\u2019s sexuality and society.<\/p>\n
\nFor women and men, familiarity can breed boredom, especially if you and your spouse focus more on work, kids and other household responsibilities, and less on sexual intimacy. 10 Bad Habits that Could Ruin Your Marriage?<\/p>\n
\nHow to Stop an Affair Before It Starts
\nIf you\u2019re tempted to cheat, consider these suggestions from Marriage Advocates, a nonprofit organization that promotes healthy marriages:<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"