{"id":2671,"date":"2007-01-27T21:01:13","date_gmt":"2007-01-27T21:01:13","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2007-01-27T21:01:13","modified_gmt":"2007-01-27T21:01:13","slug":"R-I-P--Rest-In-Pandemonium","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/?p=2671","title":{"rendered":"R.I.P &#8211; Rest In Pandemonium"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever feel that there are just way too many potholes on your road &#8212; where it takes a massive amount of energy and effort to get out of it?\u00a0 And the worst part is, after you get out of it, you ask yourself &#8220;Now what?&#8221;\u00a0 I&#39;m not sure if that can be classified as a crisis (quarter-life, mid-life, whatever, you decide) or just a horrid joke played on you by the gods.<\/p>\n<p>Not that I&#39;m anything close to being emo or gothic, but the other day, I found myself mulling about tombstones.\u00a0 It&#39;s an aftermath of falling into a gigantic pothole that would bring the Grand Canyon shame.\u00a0 It made me think about my life &#8212; or whatever I can scrape off of it.\u00a0 So yes, tombstones.\u00a0 They&#39;re just one of those things that you know you will have&#8230; but have completely no control over.\u00a0 And the funny thing is, it will be planted there forever in your memory (in theory, at least).\u00a0 Does one include in a will what he\/she wants in his\/her tombstone?\u00a0 I mean, who decides?\u00a0 Is there some sort of template that these tombstone companies have?\u00a0 Like, is there a person employed full-time to think of cheesy blurbs to be engraved on one&#39;s tombstone?\u00a0 I would think, however, that if I were dying, thinking of what to write on my tombstone would be the last thing on my mind.\u00a0 After all, don&#39;t I have to figure out how to bloody get to the light at the end of the tunnel?\u00a0 Do I get a map or some equipment at least?\u00a0 Flashlight?<\/p>\n<p>Anywayyyyyyy&#8230; off in a tangent again.<\/p>\n<p>Tombstones, yes.\u00a0 I was thinking &#8220;What on earth will my family put on my tombsone?&#8221;\u00a0 The thing is, I don&#39;t think I&#39;m particularly good at anything.\u00a0 And I&#39;m not exaggerating, either &#8212; I mean it!\u00a0 Sure, I was ace in school and academics and all that&#8230; because I was expected to be (Asian parents, remember?).\u00a0 Then school finished, thank God!\u00a0 Got a decent job &#8212; the type that you aren&#39;t embarrassed to talk about during a party &#8212; and pretty much sold my life to it in the name of financial independence and self-support (paving the way for less parental naggings, though it doesn&#39;t eliminate it completely; nothing does!).\u00a0 Ironically though, I&#39;m still uncertain whether or not I like what I do.\u00a0 It&#39;s simply to pay the bills, what else?\u00a0 Oh, and it&#39;s also something to do &#8212; keeps you busy!\u00a0 That&#39;s what jobs are for, no?\u00a0 There are people who like being identified with what they do.\u00a0 &#8220;I&#39;m a financial analyst&#8221; or &#8220;I&#39;m a neuro-surgeon&#8221; or &#8220;I&#39;m a network administrator.&#8221;\u00a0 I don&#39;t even know what I am&#8230; and when I find out, I&#39;m not exactly sure if I want to be pegged down as that.\u00a0 It makes everything sound so, I&#39;m not sure&#8230; certain?\u00a0 Permanent?\u00a0 Grown up?<\/p>\n<p>As for talent, not exactly sure I possess that either.\u00a0 I&#39;ve a disgruntled feeling God must&#39;ve left me out when He sprinkled talent in heaven before He sent us all babies-to-be to earth.\u00a0 Or perhaps I was in the shower or fixing my hair, and the freaking cherub who was supposed to let me know was busy SMS-ing her boyfriend on her mobile phone.\u00a0 I can&#39;t sing (I only do so in the shower where I can delude myself into thinking that the good acoustics mask my tuneless singing), I don&#39;t dance (without being intoxicated), I can&#39;t act (I tried, believe me), I can&#39;t draw (my art extends to stick figures), I&#39;m a horrible public speaker (though no incidents of tomato-throwing yet)&#8230; and well, you get the idea.\u00a0 Certainly the Jill of No Trades.\u00a0 Pretty pathetic, huh? \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Good traits and attributes?\u00a0 Man, I would really need to not piss my immediate family off before I die or else they will only think of the devious crimes I&#39;ve done in the past &#8212; like stealing my sister&#39;s precious Barbie dolls when I was younger, or completely destroying my brother&#39;s action figures by jumping on it with much gusto.\u00a0 Or that day in 4th grade where I lied to my parents about my grades.\u00a0 The list is endless, I tell you, and they really do have enough ammo against me to ward off any man from marrying me.\u00a0 I&#39;d like to think that I was a loving daughter\/sister\/wife (wishful thinking) at least once in my life.\u00a0 Then again, it&#39;s one of those things that I would have to leave in the hands of my loved ones.\u00a0 Would it be mighty narcisstic of me to leave instructions to my family that my tombstone ought to say &#8220;To an unprecedented daughter\/sister\/wife whose death makes us lose the meaning of our own lives?&#8221;\u00a0 Yeah, I think so too.\u00a0 I should spend the next years of my life buttering them up&#8230; after antagonizing them for the past 25 years!<\/p>\n<p>That brings us back to square one &#8212; my blank tombstone.\u00a0 Apart from my name, it would probably be left blank, indeed.\u00a0 I sure hope they spell it correctly, at least.\u00a0 Then again, good to have some mystery, right?\u00a0 Hmmm, not if one&#39;s dead, I reckon.\u00a0 That would come off as something utterly peculiar like I was the Grinch or Scrooge or something. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>With regards to the potholes of the notorious Twenties Road, how many more to go before we get elevated to the speed bumps of the Thirties Avenue?\u00a0 Can I still make it?\u00a0 Who knows, maybe I&#39;m going through my mid-life crisis already &#8212; and that I will die when I&#39;m fifty.\u00a0 Hmmm.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Well then&#8230; BRING IT ON!!!<\/p>\n<p>(Quite some banter today really.\u00a0 I apologize for the incoherence&#8230; but was fun!!!)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever feel that there are just way too many potholes on your road &#8212; 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