When I was twenty, a friend\u2019s aunt insisted on giving me a fortune reading. She considers herself to have psychic powers \u2013 a gift she insists shouldn\u2019t go to waste \u2013 and so in addition to her day job, she charges a low fee for what she calls \u201cenergy readings\u201d on the side. I\u2019d never had my fortune told, and I haven\u2019t since, so I don\u2019t know if what happened could be considered normal. Truthfully, all that I know about the practice has been learned from watching really awful television sitcoms, the ones where the main character goes to a plump woman with dreadlocks to find out if the person they\u2019re dating is The One. They sit in a dimly lit room while the fortune teller stares at their palm or clutches one of their possessions, like a ring or watch, and says things like, \u201cI\u2019m getting a person with the letter Y. Is there anyone in your life whose name begins with Y?\u201d<\/i> <\/p>\n
My fortune reading went nothing like that. My friend\u2019s aunt (who I\u2019ll call Auntie P) was eating lunch with us at a Thai restaurant when she suddenly reached her hand out and told me to put mine in hers. My friend knew immediately what was happening. She began explaining to me that Auntie P has a high rate of accuracy in predicting weddings, tragedies, and other unusual events. <\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou won\u2019t meet the man you will marry for a long time,\u201d she said, \u201cmaybe in your forties.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Liz<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\u201cNo, thanks,\u201d I said. \u201cI don\u2019t believe in that stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n
Auntie P shook her head. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to believe, then. Just let me do this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Reluctantly, I put my hand in hers. Auntie P put her other hand on top and closed her eyes for a moment. Once or twice she rubbed her hands carefully over mine, as if trying to feel each of the bones. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked off to the side as she spoke. \u201cYou won\u2019t meet the man you will marry for a long time,\u201d she said, \u201cmaybe in your forties. But then you will be married soon after that. And you will be married for the rest of your life because you will die first.\u201d<\/p>\n
Auntie P made some other predictions, but I don\u2019t remember most of them because I didn\u2019t take anything she said seriously. I just nodded my head occasionally. <\/p>\n
During my third and final attempt at sitting solo at a bar, I was doing just that: sitting solo. Following the routine of my second attempt, I dressed in clothes that were comfortable yet made me feel attractive, invited my friends to the venue for a quick drink and a few appetizers, and then shooed them out. Unlike my second attempt, instead of walking around the room, I stayed on my barstool.<\/p>\n
According to my friend Christian, cruising the room was a bad idea because my constant movement discouraged guys from approaching me. \u201cStay in one place,\u201d he advised. \u201cGo to the bathroom if you have to, but don\u2019t make too many trips. Guys don\u2019t want to have to constantly search the room for the girl they think is cute. It\u2019s just not worth it. They\u2019ll move on to someone else.\u201d Normally I don\u2019t listen to Christian because he has a tendency to give what I view as useless advice (he once told me to wear overalls to attract men. I didn\u2019t listen. Three months later I was single, and he blamed it on my refusal to follow his suggestion), but a few other friends, male and female, confirmed that what he said made sense. So I sat\u2026and sat\u2026and sat.<\/p>\n
After an hour and a half, the bartender was the only one who talked to me. Unfortunately, \u201cWant another?\u201d doesn\u2019t exactly qualify as good conversation.<\/p>\n
I was considering leaving when a guy came over and asked if I had change for a five. \u201cI don\u2019t have singles to leave a tip,\u201d he explained. <\/p>\n
I counted out five ones and handed them over. <\/p>\n
He thanked me and held out his hand. When I took it, he turned it over, palm side facing up, and said, \u201cI read palms. Mind if I read yours?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\n\n\u201cIt also says right here that you will meet a handsome guy in a bar, and he will ask for your phone number.\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Liz<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nI thought of Auntie P. I said, \u201cSure. I hope you\u2019re better than my last fortune teller. She didn\u2019t tell me what I wanted to hear at all.\u201d I said the last part jokingly.<\/p>\n
The guy joked back, \u201cAll right. Deal. If your fortune sucks, I\u2019ll lie.\u201d He held my hand close to his face and studied its lines for a few seconds. \u201cActually, you have a very good fortune. I see marriage somewhere in here. That\u2019s good, right? It means you won\u2019t be alone in life. One kid. A daughter, I think, but late in life, when you\u2019re married. Your marriage will be delayed, not for a while.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds about right,\u201d I told him, trying not to look confused. I had thought he was using the palm reading thing as an unusual pick-up strategy, but it wasn\u2019t looking that way. Also, he was starting to sound a lot like Auntie P, which, I\u2019m not going to lie, was kind of creepy. I began to walk away.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait, I\u2019m not finished.\u201d He took my hand again and pointed to a thin line. \u201cIt also says right here that you will meet a handsome guy in a bar, and he will ask for your phone number.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes it say I will give it to him?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked back at the line. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right then.\u201d I wrote it down on his palm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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