Want to know what the person is REALLY like behind those “nice” descriptions in Singles Ads? Here are some translations.<\/p>\n
DANDY LITTLE HOUSE KEEPER:
\nShe has been married three times and kept all the houses<\/p>\n
FINE CHARACTER
\nShe’s an ex-hooker<\/p>\n
KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE MONEY:
\nShe’s a spend thrift and great at spending yours<\/p>\n
STRONG FAMILY TIES:
\nShe’s a Mafia Princess<\/p>\n
LOVES CHILDREN:
\nShe’s pregnant and needs a husband<\/p>\n
WONDERFUL PERSONALITY:
\nShe’s fat<\/p>\n
GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR:
\nShe’s fat and will laugh at anything you say<\/p>\n
THE OUTDOOR TYPE:
\nShe hunts, fishes, chews tobacco, just like the guys<\/p>\n
READY TO SETTLE DOWN:
\nShe’s thirty-five, in a state of panic, and dying to marry<\/p>\n
LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
\nShe gets drunk every time she goes out<\/p>\n
LOTS OF FUN AT PARTIES:
\nOften makes an ass of herself<\/p>\n
MATURE WOMAN:
\nShe’s at least thirty, but looks at least forty-five<\/p>\n
HAS THE APPEARANCE OF A YOUNG SCHOOL GIRL:
\nShe’s at least thirty-three, but dresses like a teenager<\/p>\n
CASUAL:
\nShe dresses like a slob<\/p>\n
DECORATED HER OWN PLACE:
\nHer apartment resembles a pig sty<\/p>\n
A GREAT DANCER:
\nShe’s a Stripper <\/p>\n
NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL:
\nShe only cries twenty-seven times a day<\/p>\n
DOESN’T CHASE MEN:
\nShe’s more of a mousetrap or a black widow spider type<\/p>\n
SELDOM DATES:
\nShe’s a lesbian who needs a male escort for something<\/p>\n
UNDERSTANDS MEN:
\nShe’s been married and divorced four times<\/p>\n
A GOOD SPORT:
\nShe knows two hundred jokes & can drink you under the table<\/p>\n
LOOKS AND DRESSES LIKE A MODEL:
\nShe’s five eleven and weighs seventy-three pounds<\/p>\n
BEEN IN SHOW BUSINESS:
\nShe’s a former porn movie star<\/p>\n
KNOWS A LOT OF INTERESTING PEOPLE:
\nNone of whom would marry her
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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