{"id":6830,"date":"2010-12-03T00:12:54","date_gmt":"2010-12-03T00:12:54","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2025-10-15T00:59:22","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T00:59:22","slug":"askmen-com-chivalry-vs-feminism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asiancemagazine.com\/?p=6830","title":{"rendered":"AskMen.com: Chivalry Vs. Feminism"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the 1950s, the rules of dating etiquette were clearer. A man knew it was not only acceptable, but expected for him to open the door for his date, pull out her chair and pay for the meal. These days, the line between appreciated chivalrous acts and condescending behaviors is fuzzy at best. The feminist movement brought women the right to vote and earn equal pay, but it sure made the practice of dating more confusing in the process. It would be a dateless man indeed who didn\u2019t acknowledge a woman\u2019s right to make her own decisions when it comes to her life, her money, her body, and her mind — but how do you reconcile that respect with the kind of attitude a man is encouraged to project on a date? When you\u2019re initially getting to know a girl, it can be difficult to know whether she\u2019ll see your actions as considerate or misogynistic.<\/p>\n

<\/strong>The following are a few different situations that may come up during the beginning of a relationship, viewed from both sides of the aisle: that of a well-intentioned, old-fashioned gentleman and an empowered woman. Which opinion should rule in these ambiguous circumstances?<\/p>\n

<\/strong>PICKING UP THE TAB
\n<\/strong>Gentleman\u2019s perspective: It\u2019s gentlemanly to pull out my wallet and pay, especially on the first date. It shows I am financially secure and goes a long way to making a good impression on my date.<\/p>\n

Feminist\u2019s perspective: As an empowered woman, I can pay my own way, thank you very much. The man reaching for his wallet is an indication that he thinks I can\u2019t take care of myself.<\/p>\n

AM verdict: For the first few dates, at least, the guy should pay. If she isn\u2019t a gold digger, the woman should at least offer to pay, but until a relationship is established, the man should expect to be shelling out for meals, drinks and movies.<\/p>\n

LIGHTENING HER LOAD
\n<\/strong>Gentleman\u2019s perspective: Opening the door for my girl or helping her carry her shopping bags is my duty as the stronger sex.<\/p>\n

Feminist\u2019s perspective: Call any woman \u201cthe weaker sex\u201d and see how far that gets you. I am fully capable of opening my own doors and carrying my own bags.<\/p>\n

AM verdict: Instead of asking if it\u2019s OK, just say, \u201cLet me help you with those bags.\u201d If she\u2019s adamant that she doesn\u2019t need your help, back off.<\/p>\n

There are a few more situations in which we pit chivalry against feminism… <\/p>\n

<\/strong>PERFORMING MANLY TASKS
\n<\/strong>Gentleman\u2019s perspective: There are some jobs that men are still required to do. Mowing the lawn or fixing the car is a perfectly reasonable thing to do for her. She probably doesn\u2019t know how to do them or doesn\u2019t want to anyway.<\/p>\n

Feminist\u2019s perspective: These chores are not strictly for men. I am independent and intelligent enough to take care of these tasks on my own.<\/p>\n

AM verdict: If she knows how to do it, she does it, period. Don\u2019t insist on doing a chore just because it\u2019s \u201ca man\u2019s work.\u201d Alternately, don\u2019t shy away from teaching her how to do something if she shows an interest in learning.<\/p>\n

DEFENDING HER HONOR
\n<\/strong>Gentleman\u2019s perspective: If a woman is insulted by another man\u2019s actions or words, I should step in and take over the situation.<\/p>\n

Feminist\u2019s perspective: I can fight my own battles. If someone offends me, I\u2019ll take it up with them myself.<\/p>\n

AM verdict: It depends on the situation. If it\u2019s a random catcall from a passing vehicle, it\u2019s probably not necessary to do anything about it. If another guy pinches your date\u2019s ass in a club, you should step up and deal with the situation. In that case, you’re not only defending her honor, but your own as well.<\/p>\n

ORDERING HER MEAL
\n<\/strong>Gentleman\u2019s perspective: I know what she\u2019ll like, so I should go ahead and order for her.<\/p>\n

Feminist\u2019s perspective: I don\u2019t think so!<\/p>\n

AM verdict: Feminists win here. This behavior is archaic and comes off as rude and condescending. Unless she asks for a suggestion, keep your opinions on her order to yourself.<\/p>\n

CHIVALROUS CONFUSION
\n<\/strong>It can be quite confusing to be a man in today’s society, what with all the empowered women traipsing around demanding their independence, while chastising us for not being courteous enough to open doors for them. A general rule of thumb to keep in mind when dealing with the fairer (not weaker) sex: Treat them as you would want them to treat you. Don’t baby her or treat her like a child; simply be there for her as you would a good friend and everything should be fine.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Personally, I feel sorry for these poor guys. Feminists and the Women’s Empowerment Movement (whatever you want to call it (yawn)) have really confused the hell out of men everywhere! It has made women masculine and forced men to take a back seat against their will. I can only date older men because the men my age have been ruined by all of this feminism nonsense. In my experience, the older men are the chivalrous gentlemen.<\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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