It was spring break. I was a sophomore in college and I

Have you ever had moments where you could go back in your time machine, take back those dating disasters and mishaps so you can redo them all over again? Or maybe, ever felt like you missed out on a great fuck that you wished you took when you were in the heat of the moment? Everyone does. He’s that guy you hooked up with on your last vacation or that guy you’ve been dating for a few weeks back in January. Sometimes we’re left with the most opportunistic moments where you just can’t turn them down. It’s a simple fantasy that we always wondered about from time to time. What would have happened if we did? What would have the sex been like? Would it be amazing or a complete flop? We all knew it would have been incredible only because that’s what we’ve built up in our fantasy. They’re our missed fucks, the guys we should’ve fucked but didn’t.

It was spring break. I was a sophomore in college and I had just booked my first vacation with my girlfriends to Las Vegas. It was the perfect time to go away; we all worked hard in our classes and deserved some time to unwind a little bit. I had finished all my midterms and I’ve been fighting with my boyfriend at the time for the last few months. Things couldn’t have gotten any worse between Tyler and me. I needed an outlet to let loose and let go of all my inhibitions. So I found going to Vegas as the perfect opportunity to clear my head and to give each other some space. But space wasn’t exactly what I needed.

His name was James, someone I met while I was in Las Vegas. He was sexy, mysterious, and temporary. He had dark short hair and intense, brooding eyes. All I remembered about him was the way his hot breath felt on my neck as he spoke to me in his husky, deep voice. I remembered his passionate kisses and the way he moaned in my ear when he asked for more. Like I said, he was sexy. James was exactly what I needed- a quick fix to a problem. But more so, he was everything that I was looking for and wanted. He was my outlet to my frustration.

The first night we met was at a party at the Mandalay Bay hotel. It was crowded with many beautiful faces and music so loud that you could feel it through your chest. The perspiration was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Then I saw him from the corner of my eye. Out of all of the faces in that massive crowd, I saw his. He was sitting in the VIP section with his friends. Then he stared right at me. I felt his eyes burning into mine. A surge of electricity shot through my spine and I knew I just had to meet him. At that moment I thought, “I’m going to fuck him tonight.” It was lust at first sight.

James walked towards me, took me by the hand, and led me back to his VIP section. He didn’t even have to say one word to me. I was transfixed. He had a strong presence about him that overcame me. He was the kind of guy who knew exactly what we wanted and made no hesitation to go after it. After several drinks later we eventually made our way to the dance floor. As we danced he held me tight and close to his body. Even through his clothes I could feel his hard body and defined arms. I could smell the sweet scent of his skin. I was instantly turned on. I didn’t know his name but I knew I wanted him that very second.

“You never told me your name,” he said.

“You never asked,” I responded as I coyly smiled at him. He told me his name first.

James. And that’s all I needed to know. I wanted to know as little as possible about him. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. I was looking for a release and James came in at the most opportune moment. By the time I knew it, our night flew by and it was already a quarter to eleven in the morning. We spent all night and most of our morning together talking, dancing, drinking, and gambling. Before we parted ways we agreed to meet at Pure later that night, a club at the Caesars Palace.

I couldn’t wait to see James that night. I was feeling excited and giddy. By the time I got to Pure, James was already waiting for me. He looked sexier than I remembered, although, it was only a few hours ago. He grabbed me by the waist and slowly placed his mouth on mine. And that’s what did it for me. His mouth felt so good on mine that it made me wonder how good it would feel all over my body.

“I’m done talking,” I said.

“So am I,” he agreed. “Let’s get out of here.”

We immediately left the scene to go back to his hotel. On the way there we were ravaging each other in the cab, all the way up to his room. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. As he was kissing my neck and collar bone, I reached into his back pocket for his room key and opened the door. I didn’t want to waste any time. I wanted him as much as he wanted me. We stumbled into his room as we were fumbling with the buttons and zippers on our clothes. I had him undressed down to his boxer briefs and black socks, which absolutely had to go. I don’t do socks in bed. The very sight of him got me aroused. He had tight abs, broad shoulders, and toned arms. I pushed him onto the bed and straddled on top of him. I wanted to tease him a little. James instantly took charge and rolled me over to my back. The way he manhandled me made me even want him more. The foreplay was hot and heavy and it would only lead to the next thing.

Everything about that moment was so wrong, but felt so right. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew it. But I didn’t want to stop. I knew that things were already fucked up between Tyler and me. So if I slept with James, what would it matter? I had every intention to fuck James. What happens in Vegas should only stay in between the sheets of you and your lover in Vegas, right? He started kissing my chest then down to my navel. He then slowly slipped off my skirt. Before things went any further, I had flashes of Tyler’s face. A wave of guilt rushed over me. I suddenly stopped. I couldn’t do it. As much as I wanted to, it wasn’t the right thing to do. I didn’t want to hurt him. Enough damage has been caused. I couldn’t imagine how he would feel if he ever found out. I told James that I couldn’t sleep with him and he respected my wishes. It was still an extreme let down. After we got dressed he took me back to my hotel. He kissed me on the cheek and told me to look him up if I ever make it back to Vegas.

Three months later after my trip, Tyler and I broke up. Things just kept going downhill that it was time to let go. The worst part was that I knew that this was going to happen. I knew our relationship was already damned. If I knew that this was going to happen then why didn’t I go through it with James? I should have slept with him. What would have happened if I did? Probably the same thing that happened last time, instead this time with the sex. I could have done it, you know. But the guilt would eventually eat me alive. Every now and then I wonder what it would have been like. I bet he would have been a real good fuck. Out of all the guys I’ve gone out with, James should have been at least one of the guys I should’ve slept with. He was my missed fuck. I guess I’ll never know and I’m okay with that. For now, I’ll just leave it the way it is, a fantasy.