Contented Achievers
The Contented Achiever: How to Get What You Want and Love What You Get, by Chris Crouch, Don Hutson, and George Lucas, is a book I recently purchased for my Amazon Kindle ebook reader. Much of it revolves around a discussion of being contented or not and successful or not, two important characteristics of human life. I agreed with most of it and recommend it highly.
In the ongoing game of life, we play the cards we are dealt. We seem to win or lose. We respond both to winning or losing and to how well we feel we are playing the game. “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you played the game” is one approach. “Winning is everything” is another.
Our external results are conventionally labeled “success” or “failure,” and are measured in terms of money, fame, power, honor…. Our internal state of mind can be characterized as falling somewhere between “fulfillment” and “frustration,” largely affected by our personal evaluation of our degree of success. In his poem “If,” Rudyard Kipling advised us to meet triumph and disaster with equanimity, to “treat those two impostors just the same.” Hard to do.
The Contented Achiever‘s authors, Crouch and crew, present a chart with degree of fulfillment running vertically (y-axis) and degree of success running horizontally (x-axis). This gives four quadrants, which they use to illustrate types of outcomes.
High success and low satisfaction (“I can’t get no satisfaction“) typify many “soap-opera types,” Unhappy Beautiful People. They have it all, except happiness. Avoid this.
Low success and low satisfaction typify life’s losers, “Tar Pit People,” some who earned unhappiness, some merely victims.
Low success and high satisfaction describe the group the authors labeled “Oxymoron People,” because not succeeding and yet being happy seems contradictory. The authors noted, “Oxymoron People may be artists, writers, engineers, parents of a dozen foster children….they are living the life they choose and feeling happy….” Viewed from their own perspective, they have redefined “success” and moved into our fourth category.
“Contented Achievers” have succeeded and are satisfied. Be there, if you can, and most of us can. Ambitious, but not infeasible, goals and a philosophical approach to life can put one here.
I have written this for the readers of asiancemagazine.com partly because Asian Americans, such as my own step-children, are among America’s most successful people, and deserve to enjoy satisfaction, rather than enduring dissatisfaction from the gap between their achievements and their aspirations.
Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., is the author of Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage, and Devotion, available from amazon.com, bn.com, and Outskirts Press. He is a freelance writer and a book-writing mentor. Contact: douglas@tingandi.com.
Well I was actually complimenting you on the great man advice you dish on your blog, but take it as you wish. Bethenney Frankel is still and will always be a disgusting, skank, whore, pig.
SHE WAS SUED FOR “SKINNYGIRL” BC SHE STOLE THE BRAND AND IT WASN’T FAT FREE. I SLEPT WITH THE PARTNER WHO HANDLED THE CASE JUST FOR YUE SEW THAT I COULD FIND OUT EVERYTHING! ALSO, I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHO HER HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON HER WITH=IT’LL COME OUT SOONER THAN LATER!! PR STANDS FOR PRIVATE REVOLUTION OF THE ABSOLUTE FACTS!! LOOK AT TORY BURCH AND HER BS STORY ABOUT HER BACKGROUND AND FAMILY FOR GOD’S SAKE!! 🙂
NANCY, I THOUGHT OF YUE WHEN I READ THAT SHE IS GETTING YET ANOTHER CHAT SHOW!! PEOPLE LOVE TRASHY, INSECURE AND UNDEREDUCATED WOMEN=SNOOKY FROM THAT NEW JERSEY SHORE SHOW. NEVER SAW IT BUT I KNOW ABOUT HER THRU OSMOSIS. THE MEDIA TREAT HER LIKE LADY GODIVA OF THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY SYSTEM(S) BC THE GOLD IS FLOWING IN TO HER HUGE PREGNANT STOMACH JUST LIKE THE OFFERS ARE ATTACHING THEMSELVES TO THAT MAN REPELLANT BETHANNY!! KIND OF LIKE WEN I AM A CRAZY BITCH FROM HELL ON A DATE, THE GUY CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF MEE=HE LOVES MEE!!
First of all, I do not believe she sold that for $100million. That brand is not worth that much and excuse my marketing skills, but I would place $$ on it that skinnygirl alone did not account for $100million or whatever she wants everyone to believe. Nor did she own 100% of the company. She was backed by a smart liquor company who saw her reach on the Bravo network and put the product in her hands. Plus I have not seen one of her fugly shows bc I can not stomach looking at her but I heard that people can’t stand the show and it’s only a matter of time before she is back in NY. boy I am so excited about that.
Marisa – you would totally love this new show on Bravo called Miss Advised, about a bunch of desperate NYC women. They don’t need to be but they are…
Don’t her shitty muffins that she tried to sell in the Greenwich, CT supermarket ring a bell? ok so they didn’t taste good but not even the male customers wanted to come up and chat with her, even for the free samples. I’m sure she could sell her own drink mix…NOT!.loser..anyway, the reason I can not stand this chick is mainly because of her desperate attempts to make Kelly Bensimon look like a complete wack job when all along Bethenney Fug Frankel was seething with jealousy at the life and connections Kelly had. Frankel is the typical ugly girl picking on the beautiful girl in high school.
THANK YOU FOR THE VERY LOVELEE COMPLIMENT NANCY!! WHO NEEDS ENEMIES WITH FRIENDS LIKE YOU?? IS IT STARRING YOUR FAVORITE DESPERADO HERSELF, BETHANNY FRANKLE?? I TRULY NEVER WATCH BRAVO BC THOSE REALITY SHOWS BITE! 🙁 ANYWAY, WHAT FUN IS IT TO BE DESPERATE UNLESS YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE TO BE?? GET IT?? IT IS ALWAYS THE WOMEN WHO HAVE TOO MUCH TO BEGIN WITH THAT WANT IT ALL AND SEW THEY FLY TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN LIKE ICARUS JUST TO GET BURNED AND FALL=DESPERADO! AND YUE MAI FRENEMY WOULD GREATLY BENEFIT FROM A SHOW CALLED “THE BACHELORETTE” WHICH I BELIEVE AIRS ON ANOTHER NETWORK! I’LL TELL YUE WHAT, BEING THAT I AM SUCH A CLOSE FRIEND OF YOURS, I WILL NOMINATE YUE FOR THE NEW SEASON!! 🙂
URBAN DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF DESPERATE: When horny males over the age of 16 follow and hook up with girls of the age of 14 and under aka “Little Man Syndrome.”
URBAN DICTIONARY OF LMS:
A man, small in stature, who attempts to overcome the way he believes other people perceive him (as a diminuative character) by 1) attaching himself to authority figures, 2) trying to manipulate himself into positions of control, 3) migrating toward positions of leadership, and 4) having a fairly volatile temper. When a man of short stature feels insecure and as a result feels the need to belittle and offend others to make himself feel proud. When a small man (with little man syndrome) greets you with: “Oh still feeling ill? By the looks of you, its pretty obvious!” (or something similar) When a guy is short and has an attitude problem because he is bitter at society for looking down on short guys. Damn, I just got rejected by the bouncer that I was a lot taller than at the bar, he must have had a bad case or little man syndrome!
I had a boss with little man syndrome and besides never being able to please him, he always had to prove he was better than anyone else!
I wonder if Nancy and Marisa blog from the same keyboard?
I WONDER IF THIS “ANONYMOUS” COMMENT IS COMING FROM NANCY/MARISA AND OR MARISA/NANCY??
NOT ONLEE THAT NANCY BUT YUE KNOW HOW I LOVE TO COOK FRENCH AND ITALIAN SPECIALTIES! MAI SPAGHETTI CARBONARA IS TO DIE FOR AND SHE MADE IT FOR THE COUNTLESS OF CT ON THE “HOUSEWIVES” ONE DAY (MY MOM TOLD MEE) AND IT LOOKED GROSS BC SHE IS A “COOK” NOT A “CHEF” WHICH IS THE SAME THING AS SAYING YOU TOOK CLASSES AT COLUMBIA IN ADULT EDUCATION BUT DO NOT POSSESS A DEGREE!! BASICALLY LOW FAT EGG NOODLES IN WATER SAUCE. EEWW!!
HERE IS MY RECIPE FOR THAT DISH! IF YOU ARE GOING TO EAT A RICH ITALIAN PASTA DISH DUE IT RIGHT OR STICK TO SALMON AND SPINACH.
MARISA SUNG’S SPAGHETTI CARBONARA :
SERVES ENOUGH FOR 4 FREELOADING FRENEMIES
Ingredients
1/2 inch olive oil (for frying pan)
2 cloves minced garlic
1 chopped onion
8 to 12 thick slices Italian bacon
4 eggs
2 packages spaghetti
2 cups grated Parmesan cheese
Directions
n a frying pan, combine 1/2 inch of olive oil, 2 cloves of minced garlic, one chopped onion and the Italian bacon cut into small squares. Let simmer for about a half-hour, being careful not to let the oil get to a boiling point.
In a bowl, beat 4 eggs with lots of salt and fresh ground pepper.
Bring a pan of salted water to a boil. Cook both packages of spaghetti until al dente, drain and immediately add egg mixture to pasta. The eggs are actually cooked by the pasta. (Make sure the eggs are thoroughly cooked before proceeding.) Stir the egg mixture until it is well mixed. Pour in the mixture from the frying pan and stir. Finish with the Parmesan cheese and serve
Patrizio Buanne – That’s Amore
I don’t know about you but I don’t know anyone who would sit and have conversations with themselves all day. Maybe you would ‘Anonymous’…oh and Marisa you forgot Giuliana Rancic on your top 10 manipulating bitches!
YOU KNOW WHAT, GIULIANA LOOKS LIKE THE POSTERWOMAN FOR A SCLERODERMA VICTIM TO MEE AND I CAN’T THINK ABOUT HER OR LOOK AT HER BC SHE FRIGHTENS MEE TO DEATH!! SHE IS BEYOND UGLEE! I NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THINGS THAT DISGUST, UPSET OR REPEL MEE MAI LOVERS ER DOCTOR(S) TOLD MEE!! BILL IS WITH HER BC OF HER HOLLYWOOD CONNECTIONS, MONEY AND HER GREAT FAME!! SHE IS THE OPRAH WINFREY TO HIS STEDFASTMAN IF YUE BILL! BILL RANCIC REALLY ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AND CONTINUES TO WANT TO BE A VERY FAMOUS ACTOR WHICH IS WHY HE PARTICIPATED IN “THE APPRENTICE” IN THE FIRST PLACE! DON’T FRET BILL, GUILIANA WILL USE HER CONNECTIONS TO HOOK YUE UP WITH A MAJOR ROLE IN HOLLYWOOD AND PULL A HARVEY WEINBANGER DOWN THE DOORS FOR YUE! PERHAPS YUE CAN EVEN GET GWYNNIE AND BENLOFER TO JOIN YUE IN THE BIG PICTURE!! 🙂
Winston, step into the conversation anytime…..you more than anyone knows about the non-duality of these two girls (bitches?)
OMG, IS IT WITH MAI JAILBAIT FILIPINO BOYTOY AGAIN?? THEY DON’T CALL MEE MARY KAY LETOURNEAU FOR NOTHING NANCY!! GOD BROUGHT US TOGETHER AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE FOR US!! GOD HAS A PLAN AND WEI ARE GOING TO BEE MARRIED ONE DAY=I JUST KNOW IT AS I KNEW IT THE VERY DAY THAT I LAID EYES ON HIM!! THE FACT THAT I LOST MAI BID FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF THE USA, MAI FOUR CHILDREN, MAI EX-HUSBAND AND WAS HIT WITH 3, OK 5 RESTRAINING ORDERS JUST MEANS THAT HE TRULY LOVES MEE AND DESPERATELY CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT MEE!! HE ONLEE HIRED SOMEONE TO TRY AND RUN ME OVER BC HE WANTS TO DIE WITH MEE AND SPEND THE REST OF HIS (AFTER LIFE) WITH MEE IN HEAVEN!! CAN’T YUE SEE THAT?? CAN’T ANY ONE SEE THAT?? HOW IS IT THAT WEI ARE THE ONLEE ONES?? 🙂
Major cheating scandal at Stuyvesant High!
Is this Winston Wu aka the Big Lu? lolllll!!
OH GOD, I AM SUCH A NON-CONTENTED OVERACHIEVER WHO HAS ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING IN LIFE!! WOE IS MEE!! THE SUMMER OF MAI DISCONTENT AND IT IS ALREADEE THE BEGINNING OF A MID-SUMMER NIGHT’S WET DREAM!!
MAI SUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
I AM NOT A VIAGRA DOCTOR, A DIVORCE ATTORNEY, A JUDGE, A MATCHMAKER, A PERFORMER, A WRITER, A SPY, AN EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT, A CHIEF OF STAFF, AN INVESTMENT ADVISOR, OR HOWARD HUGHES!! I AM MARY CRAWLEY FROM DOWNTON ABBEY ER FOR THIS MONTH ANYWHO!!! DUE YUE CONCUR??
BTW DWC IS ONE OF THE WISEST AND MOST CONTENTED ACHIEVERS WHO HAVE SUCCEEDED AND ARE VERY SATISFIED AND AND MY OWN PARENTS FALL INTO THAT CATEGORY AS WELL. A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF THE FAMILY (MAI PARENT’S GODSON) IS A NUCLEAR PHYSICIST, (A FORDHAM UNIVERSITY AND ST. FRANCIS XAVIER ALUMNUS OF COURSE) AND HE AND HIS WIFE ADOPTED THREE DISABLED GIRLS. I WILL NEVER FORGET HOW HE AND HIS BROTHER, MAI DAD AND HIS BEST FRIEND (THEIR FATHER) WERE ALL DUELING IN OUR BACKYARD TO THE SHOCK AND AMUSEMENT OF OUR NEIGHBORS!! HE IS ONE OF THE MOST ACCOMPLISHED AND HAPPIEST MEN WHO WE KNOW AND HE RESIDES IN NORTH CAROLINA RIGHT BY CHAPEL HILL=ONE OF THE BEST UNIVERSITIES IN THE COUNTRY!! 🙂
WOW IS MEE!