Orgasms a No Go

Face it. We’ve all done it at one point in our lives. We’ve been there before. There comes a time when the sex was just “eh,” that you had to get it over with. Immediately. In this case, there aren’t too many alternatives. So what do you do? Whip your head back, give a good robust moan, and ride him out a little bit harder until you bring him to the point of no return. You get the idea. He’ll instantly get turned on by you “arriving” and then it’s smooth sailing from there. Your job is done and he’s completely satisfied. Now you can rest easy knowing that both of you are out of the woods.

So why do we fake it? The reasons are probably as varied as the number of women. The most common reason is because the sex sucks. You’re not turned on. The foreplay was lacking. He’s doing that weird thing with his hips that you don’t like again. It’s not going to happen, at least not tonight. There have been countless times when I found myself lying there, knowing that I wasn’t going to come. I would stare at the wall thinking of my exit strategy. When the sex is just that bad and you don’t have the heart to break it to him, fake it. You don’t want to hurt his feelings by making him feel like he’s sexually inadequate in bed. What could you possibly say to him that won’t bruise his ego in the midst of your nudity nightmare? “It’s okay, honey. The sex wasn’t that bad but I’ll give you an A for effort.” No. Don’t over ride his machismo. Let him think that he’s the man and that he worked it out in the sack.

Have you ever come home from a lousy day of work? You’re partner is feeling frisky but you’re not. All you wanted to come home to was a back rub, your favorite TV show, and a sedative. This is another instance when faking it comes to play. Even though you weren’t even in the mood to begin with, you go along with it to keep your boyfriend from feeling offended, rejected or angry. So you suck it up and get it over with as quickly as possible. One of you should enjoy it, even though it won’t be you tonight.

There are times when you’re just feeling selfish and you have to fake it. The sex starts off great the first ten minutes. Eventually, you start to lose focus on the sex. He’s starting to wear down. No one seems like they’re going to come. Then again, you should know him well enough to figure out what gets him heated. Get to his favorite position and grind him until you make his knees buckle or at least enough to get him to start working on you a little bit harder. Most guys will almost instantly come once they know that you’re about to climax. It’s an absolute turn on for guys to know that they can make their partner scream like a wild horse. Again, it’s an ego booster. So let him think he’s making his earnings. If hearing you come turns him on, then fake it like there’s no tomorrow. Once he thinks you’re close, it will set him loose and he’ll do anything to reach his big O, which will help you achieve climax a little bit easier. Both of you will be feeding off each other’s actions that it becomes a win-win situation. However, this trick doesn’t work all the time. Sometimes it can backfire and he’ll come then and there without giving you enough time to react. All of your efforts go down the drain. It’s a hit or miss.

The worst case scenario when a woman fakes it is when she finds herself during a regretful hook up. You meet a guy at a party. You’re dancing and the drinks are flowing. And with your vodka goggles, he doesn’t look half that bad. Sometimes you’re unaware of the choices you make while intoxicated, such as the time when you dragged him into that dirty bathroom stall. All of a sudden the alcohol wears off and you’re wishing you took that last tequila shot. This is the time where you pull out your “fake orgasm” card to avoid creating an awkward situation. Just don’t let it happen again.

Don’t be surprised if your gal has faked it at least several times. It’s a harsh reality. I’ve heard guys say over and over, “If my girl was faking it, I would know.” All guys think they can point out an imposter, but I bet there are few that actually can. Then it made me think, could I tell if any of my previous partners tried to fake the funk with me? And if they did, how did I miss it? Why would they fake it?

If a guy were on the verge of losing his erection, because they couldn’t perform or lack of arousal, faking an orgasm would be their best bet to save face. It gives him a chance for damage control before his partner realizes that he lost it before it even began. What would be worse? Letting your partner think you’re an early comer or that you can’t get it up? Neither option will make you look like a stud.

I thought back to all the times that Tyghe and I had sex. I never really have to fake it while I’m with him. Come to think of it, maybe once or twice. During those couple of times I wondered if he ever knew. How would he react if he realized I was faking?

“Would you know if a girl faked it while having sex?” I asked.

” I don’t know. Why?” he responded.

“Well, has a girl ever faked it with you while having sex?”

“Have you ever faked it with me?”

“No.” That’s a lie. Tyghe stared at me as if he’s wating for the correct answer. “What if I did? Would that bother you?”

“What do I care?” he said. I was taken aback from his answer. Apparently, he didn’t give a shit whether or not I was satisfied. Like most men are, they’re only concerned with their own orgasm. Typical.

“Are you serious? You wouldn’t care whether or not I was satisfied in bed?”

“Of course I do. I just think that’s it stupid that you wouldn’t tell me what makes you feel good and instead you would just fake it. This entire time I’ve been doing the same thing assuming that this is what you like. How am I supposed to know that you’re not being pleased if you don’t say anything? So, basically, it’s your own fault that you’re not satisfied.”

He had a point. I hate it when he’s right. Fortunately, it was just this one time. I learned my lesson. Next time I would speak up and let him know exactly what I want in bed and I would only fake it if I was tired.

To contact Elysia check out her MyAsiance page at my.asiancemagazine.com/elysia