It happened in the bathroom, by a Professor, with an Asian
It happened in the bathroom, by a Professor, with an Asian candlestick (if that’s what you want to call it) and a condom.
I know most of you, who have read my previous columns, have some preconceived notions of me. Hey, I’m 27 years old, a Boston gal and living it up in New York. So with the recent spring weather, I was on the prowl for some fun! Hell I had Spring Fever, Jungle Fever and even Asian Fever!
As I checked my hair and lipstick in the bathroom, (Damn I look good!!) on my way out of the Park Avenue South building I call home from 8:00-6:00pm, I decided I was in for thrill. I’ll do a few shots, and have a few cocktails. I might even do a line or two. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.
Sure enough, a medium sized Asian guy, about my age, sent over a bottle of Louis Roederer “Cristal” Brut Rosé Champagne.
With my 3 girlfriends in tow, we made our way to a Mid-town hotel rooftop bar. As we made our way through the crowd and looked over the men (if that’s what you would call them), we made our way to a round table near the bar area. All four of us sat down and as I grabbed my credit card from my wallet to give to the waitress, I leaned over to my girlfriend Rebekka and whispered, “Slimmmm pickens.”
As the waitress walked away, I told my group of girls, “We are here for one round and if the bartender or any of these over the hill bald headed losers don’t start picking up our drinks, we are out of here!” I’m sorry but we are just too good looking and ready and willing, to hang around a speakeasy that doesn’t know what it has, ok?
Sure enough, a medium sized Asian guy, about my age, sent over a bottle of Louis Roederer “Cristal” Brut Rosé Champagne.
Are we defying conventional Asian wisdom? How dare you buy a bunch of bar whores one of the best bottles of champagnes around? What would your mother say?
He leaned over the bar and looked back at us. “Hun, he’s kind of cute”, I thought. Let’s see what “fever” he has tonight when he conjures up enough cajones to come and start talking to us.
After about 20 minutes of the pussy posse enjoying Cristal, over comes the medium sized Asian and his white friend. “My name is Aaron”, he said to me. Oh so I guess it’s Asian fever tonight. Or is it, I’m Asian and you’re Asian, so automatically you’re mine.
What – evvvvv. I was starting to feel a little tipsy. Aaron was actually 35, (oops, he looked 27) a finance professional and an Adjunct Professor at The New School. Class being withheld for fear of identity revealed.
Aaron pulled out a condom and motioned to the bathroom.. What a bad boy..What a bad Asian boy!
His friend started hitting on my friend, Rebekka. Never without male attention and two more Cristal bottles later, my two other girlfriends were talking to men of their own.
Aaron started getting cuter and more feely as the night went on. I, having been celibate for about 6 months, was getting hornier and hornier. Aaron pulled out a condom and motioned to the bathroom.. What a bad boy..What a bad Asian boy!
I told the table I’d be right back. Well hopefully not Right back. Aaron and I walked hand and hand towards the bathroom. He smacked me on the ass and then pushed me inside. He locked the door. I was turned on. We did in the bathroom, in the stall. Hot! That was the first time for me, not the first time for Aaron. Defying conventional wisdom, my ass. What a naughty Asian boy!
He was a full fledged Asian guy, Chinese and Korean. I never knew an Asian man could be so frisky! Horny, yes, creative and wild, no. His size was a disappointment, I’m not going to lie, but the spur of the moment excitement, made up for it.
Yes, it was done in the bathroom, by a Professor with an Asian candlestick and a condom. Who would’ve had a Clue?
We came back about 15 minutes later. No one had knocked on the door. Oddly enough. I‘m ready to do that again. Aaron asked for my card and I took his. Aaron called me the next day to go out again. I said, “No.”
You see, I’m not going to call Aaron again. I’m not going to see Aaron again. I’m not interested in Aaron. In an age where anything goes, that’s what I’m doing.
Yes, in my mind, I want an Asian man to settle down with. But he was the Asian Mr. Right Now, not the Asian Mr. Right.
You can call me a slut, whore or whatever else you desire, but it’s not like you haven’t done that or thought about doing that yourself.
Please join my dating group so we can make the dating world for an Asian girl in the United States a better place. Together we can heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race. Peace out Asian sistas!
ummm, I bet he regrets this encounter when he finds out that he got herpes from you.
Can’t you read? It says condom. Stalker!
“While earlier studies have shown that consistent condom use can substantially reduce the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), their effectiveness at preventing the spread of herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) is less certain.”
http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/news/20090713/condoms-help-cut-risk-of-genital-herpes
As to your accusation. YOU wrote about it in your selfishly attention-seeking and ultimately hypocritical piece “I have an STD. There should be something called Monogamy.” Having a memory doesn’t equal going through your garbage for personal information. But I suspect that such distinctions don’t mean a lot to histrionic individuals such as yourself.
First, I’m not in a relationship. Two, you seem to know enough about Herpes yourself. I appreciate the dissemination of STD information. Thank you for your help! Stalker!
This is a very funny, witty, well written column. And brave of you to identify yourself, given the subject matter. Keep up the good writing.
Hopefully, no Asian man reading this would ever believe that this was a bright article about them based on 3 reasons alone.
First, while it looks like a compliment that an Asian women would take pity on an Asian man and hook up with him; the fact she just *had* to throw in his size where it didn’t need to be mentioned is just another example of a passive aggressive promotion of Asian male stereotypes. It’s designed to keep Asian men in their place; low on the social dating totem pole and as an object of ridicule. Could it have been the truth? Yes but was it something that needed to be broadcast to the world even though one knows that it can cause more harm for no benefit? Probably not.
Second, in another thread, some other poster mentioned that this woman is the exact type which Asian men need to be aware of. The one that sleeps around and when it comes time to settling down, she’ll “use” an Asian man to take care of her. Nice for an Asian man to be your cuckold, isn’t it?
Third, did you seriously imply that if an Asian man strictly or primarily dates Asian women, it’s because he has a racial fetish for someone of the same race? Of course it is. It could never be because they might have the same community upbringing, sense of comradeship, or understanding of family and customs. Or maybe because he puts his own racial group as priority based on self love.
This post is seriously disgusting and the fact that it’s honestly tolerated on a “progressive” Asian American women’s website is the ultimate hypocrisy. It’s disgusting. You’re a liability in the Asian man’s fight for dignity and respect.
Then again, maybe you did it on purpose because it gives you a false sense of power bestowed upon you by the white male ruled society to beat on your own community and, dare I say it, family. Or maybe it was just for the shock value or being an attention whore.
“This is a very funny, witty, well written column. And brave of you to identify yourself, given the subject matter. Keep up the good writing.”
What are you talking about?
You think that’s her real name and the picture is real? That’s just some random picture floating around the internet.
Your family must be ecstatic!
Thank you. I’m glad at least someone is enjoying the column. Three new comments since I’ve been gone.
Not you again. It’s the angry asian man who can’t get laid. Therefore, he blames it on the Asian woman. Would you have preferred me not mention his race then? After all, I get bashed for not dating Asian men on a regular basis. Why don’t you just appreciate it? I would have mention the small willy if he was black, white or hispanic. Point was, I was disappointed. Go back and read my articles on the Black Man vs. the Asian Man and the White Man vs. the Asian Man. Geez, can’t win!
No. It’s my alma mater. ya know? College. You should look into it sometime.
And another thing, perhaps you can’t read. Regarding, “Third, did you seriously imply that if an Asian man strictly or primarily dates Asian women, it’s because he has a racial fetish for someone of the same race?”
Where did I say that? Let me repeat myself for the millionth time. It’s because SOME Asian men, think they own us. You’re angry when we date outside our race. You think we should only date Asian. Well maybe that’s what you’re attracted to but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m equal opportunity.
They are, thank you very much. You know nothing about my family and I.
Oh, yes. That’s a stellar comeback. Good one.
I’m not sure why you brought your alma mater into the conversation. The statement someone said was you posted your real name and picture of which was rejected as random; what has your alma mater got to do with it?
The small picture next to your name is normally called an avatar. The “picture” they were referring to was the one of the Asian woman in the blog post.
We can’t appreciate something if it’s done out of pity. No self respecting individual would.
Don’t do us any favors.
Also, I am not sure why you automatically assume that just because someone complains, it’s because they’re your stereotypical asexual Asian male. You’re like white people who say that complaining about racism and discrimination means you acknowledge race and that acknowledgment means you are, in fact, the real racist.
What’s next? When an Asian man complains about stereotypical portrayals or global warming, you say that’s because he has a small penis and is your typical asexual moron that can’t stand the liberation of Asian women?
Your post said:
“After about 20 minutes of the pussy posse enjoying Cristal, over comes the medium sized Asian and his white friend. “My name is Aaron”, he said to me. Oh so I guess it’s Asian fever tonight. Or is it, I’m Asian and you’re Asian, so automatically you’re mine.”
From your statement, this implies that since he was Asian and targeted you, he automatically has an Asian fetish. That accusation and assumption came before you mentioned the idea that some Asian men believe they hold a sole grip on Asian women. Additionally, an Asian fetish holds no relation and baring towards the idea of Asian men who insist Asian women only date them.
Look, I know Asian women have come into vast social power over Asian men in the past few decades. Hell, I expect one with a sudden rush of social power to use it as leverage. We all know you write these posts in an attempt to play the “shock jock” and you feed off of the supposed angst filled responses. However, the way Asian women go about it, your tactics have become very socially abusive and have no value added to the community. Then again, it’s not Asian women give a shit about the community anyways since one of the communities primary concern is combating the asexual image of Asian men which you seem to exploit.
It’s not sophisticated; it’s trashy. It really boggles my mind that many Asian women state that Asian men are sexist and have all these social issues (which is probably agreeable but not more so than any man) but rather than help stay within the community and shore up confidence and teach them to treat women correctly, you leave and air your dirty laundry because it’s the only way you can feel like you’re important and “strong.”
But hey, we all know you don’t care nor can one make you care. Just the idea of me posting on this site and giving your page hits is all you want anyways. Just do me a favor; don’t ever complain about racism.
Avatars are pictures of the writers. Look at every article. Dumbass. What idiot would think the main picture of the article is the author? Ahhhh doiiiii?!
Nancy it is sad if what you wrote is true or your fiction. I and another guy know what you have and had written over a year ago. No self respecting guy or gal Asian or not has sex on the first date even with a condom these days. I read it with some interest then finding out it was a one night stand on your part. How do you think this guy feels now? It seems you haven’t learn from your past life lessons and mistakes. You yourself said were looking for monagamy and not these cheap one-night thrills. Since then I have a long -term steady Asian girlfriend; yes I have other Asian female friends I also like, but I don’t go around sleeping or sexing them.
It was not done out of pity. And I’m sorry I’ve you can’t accept the fact that, yes, white, black and latino men ARE attracted to Asian women. Is that our fault? We have something going for us. I’m sorry if it’s not the other way around. But with your pity party attitude, I don’t blame women for not stepping up to you.
It’s really odd that you would always ask in a condescending way if people can read.
1. Other poster said they were surprised you would post a real picture of yourself (picture at the top with the girl in it).
2. I said no, that picture of the girl at the top isn’t here.
3. You came in and proclaimed everyone is dumb and that the picture in question was your alma mater.
4. I said that the original poster was referring to the picture at the top, not your avatar (alma mater) which is what the image next to your name is normally called.
5. You said I was a “dumbass” and said that the image next to your name was called an avatar (which I already said).
Awesome.
“After all, I get bashed for not dating Asian men on a regular basis. Why don’t you just appreciate it?”
Yes, it was done out of pity. Stop lying.
Actually, I’m happily involved for 3 years now and she approached me. Thanks. Also, stop stating that Asian women are desirable and Asian men aren’t; no need to state the obvious.
However, things can always change in the blink of an eye.
umm no, It was not a pity f*ck. He was actually quite attractive. For that evening anyway. I’m not saying I’m issue free. Lord knows I should probably see a therapist after my NYC dating spree, but I’m not for or against dating ANY particular race. I just chose to write about my recent Asian Man experience.
When the reader said it was brave I indentify myself, I think he meant name…..ah doiiiii!!! question 3, 4 and 5 seem redundant. You have much too much time on your hands to rip me on an “avatar”. Got anything else?
It’s my family and my, dummy.
Picture or it didn’t happen!!! 🙂
oh yeah picture sure. Why don’t you lookup the millions of porno sites on the web and get you own rocks off!!!! 🙂
I’m not sure I get all this talk about “community” this and that, and all the typecasting. Unless some of the posters are very young with little life experience. Do you really think Asian men are all the same, and white men too? That people would behave according to their races in all situation? From my experience, there are conservative people in all races. There are Asian girls as “slutty” as white girls. And Asian guys obsessed with sex. But also some very conservative ones. It’s all about your upbringing, relationship with your parents, etc. An Asian girl raised by a single mom has more in common with a white girl raised by a single mom than with another Asian girl. This “racialism” (for lack of a better word) that can be seen in some posts is reminiscent of very dangerous ideologies. I liked the original story by Nancy, but a bit bothered that she mentions that she wants to settle down with an “Asian guy.” Any Asian guy? What if he just spent 10 years in jail for murder? Why no just say a “good guy.” That’s already hard enough to find.
And for parting words: Asians are not good in math, Jews are not stingy, Blacks don’t dance well, etc.
End the stereotypes.
The only smart thing was the condom. Asian candlestick – great comparison.
i would love to read more from you on this