Angry Asian Men
After a year of writing for Asiance, I’ve read a year’s worth of comments. And a lot of them beg a question: Why are Asian men so angry about women who… date non-Asian men?
For example:
- “Yeah, we know you, you belong to the white guys who date you for novelty but never marry you. Anything for acceptance.
- That sounds more like “White Fever” to me. I don’t know if the author is one of these types, but I would HOPE NOT for it would be quite hypocritical if you ask me.
- I’m an Asian guy. I have to say I probably wouldn’t give an Asian girl who had dated non-Asians a chance, unless it was just for a few months and they had decided that it had all been a mistake.
- Yeah, Asian men, as usual, are the LAST RESORT. Guess who is first choice?
- (Responding to an Asian woman’s defense of a Caucasian man): You know, the guy that LOOKS like you? The one that looks like your DAD? EWWWW…
- i think its really pathetic when asian girls bask in the white mans glory. you are a parasite. whats next, nicholas cage. you will never be white by association. go get a life. you need white men to make your self feel like somebody. truly shows your insecurity, lack of maturity and lack of strength. what a turn off.
- i think its funny how all the asian girls want to marry a white dude cuz they think they’ll get “cute hapa babies.” then they end up with a baby that looks like rob schneider, who by the way is a hapa.
- Tattoos of chinese characters are more in demand than asian men themselves.”
It’s true: Some Asian women date outside their race; some Asian women have never dated an Asian man. But I’m honestly not clear on why this might be a problem.
In my humble opinion, preserving racial purity isn’t a worthwhile goal. You should be able to date whomever, whenever, wherever without the threat of a backlash. Does this make Asian men feel less-than? Does it all boil down to sex? At its most subliminal level, is this about propagating the race? After all, furthering the species sits at the heart of our time on earth. And (at the risk of lighting a powder keg), if a large portion of people start marrying outside their race – uh, oh! Suddenly, no more race.
I’ve heard of African-American women who get angry at African-American men who choose to date outside their race. Once, a friend of mine (Asian) and her date (African-American) were approached by an African-American woman. Shaking her finger at my friend, she yelled, “You find your OWN man!” My friend was so shocked it took her a second to realize who or what this woman was referring to. The phrase used by many African-American moms is, “If they can’t use our comb, they can’t come home.”
I’ve experienced this anger in my own life. A friend and I like to go out to lunch in a part of town that has dozens, if not hundreds, of authentic Chinese restaurants. As you might guess, it’s a largely Asian neighborhood. And my friend, who’s a he, and married, is white. I’ll be focused on my plate of spicy wontons when I hear him whisper: “Do you see that Asian guy over there? He’s been giving me the eye. Oh, and that guy at the other table is staring daggers too!” Happens every time.
People will always have preconceived stereotypes that may or not harbor a ring of truth. Such as:
- Asian chicks are submissive.
- Asian guys want to be waited on hand and foot.
- Black women don’t like white women.
- White women feel entitled and are bitchy.
- Asian men have smaller penises.
- White men tend to be be bigger.
- Black men are the biggest of all.
- You need to be with your own race.
The list goes on and on. What’s true about all of these statements: They ignite anger.
In my humble opinion, preserving racial purity isn’t a worthwhile goal. You should be able to date whomever, whenever, wherever without the threat of a backlash.
Bruce Lee was handsome. Jet Li is awesome. So are Denzel Washington, Tom Cruise and Antonio Banderas. And Asian culture has nothing unique in its prejudice; a friend (white) still remembers the family member who said, “Why do you need to marry a Pollack? Isn’t a German good enough for you?” In the early 19th century, neighborhoods in the U.S. and the U.K. featured signs reading “No Irish.” Later, Irish Americans looked down on the “gutter Irish” – those who came to America to escape the potato famine.
Red ants kill black ants. It would seem no matter how much bigger and more complex we get as humans, our socialization is still aligned with those tiny creatures who kill others based simply on color.
An actor and women’s safety advocate, Candace Kita is the author of “The Hottie Handbook: A Girl’s category_ide to Safety.” As a safety specialist, Candace has been interviewed by People, Good Morning America, the Jay Leno Show, Inside Edition, the Los Angeles Times, 48 Hours, the LOGO Network and WHO Australia.
*Yawn*…
This argument again?
Asian vs White Man,
Yellow Fever,
White Male Myth,
Etc..
Seems to blend together. What about new topics? How about Asian, White management business styles? How to get the best from each culture? Anything else?
My brothers in – law do very well with the ladies. One has had his pick of every race and type. I’ve seen it. Great guy, super fun to be with, educated, athletic, honest, firm. He has no problem scoring or keeping what he wants. It’s not the race, or the other race. ..it’s the players involved.
Those boys don’t sit around whining about how unfair the country is or what stereotypes others have of them. Instead they thank God for their luck and fortune to be here when many of their countrymen were killed. Thank God they say someone was willing to take them into a different country even though the hosts did not all understand their new residents… America took a chance. What other country would be so kind and offer this degree of participation? If they see something they want, they work for it. .. whether material goods, education, or a woman they want or love. (Not always the same thing) They don’t snivel or make excuses. They are happy their efforts are rewarded, and look forward to the next. If someone is hating on them, they are out of there and on to a more positive scene unless it’s something they have to fight for.
“In my humble opinion, preserving racial purity isn’t a worthwhile goal. You should be able to date whomever, whenever, wherever without the threat of a backlash.” True Candace, but some Asian women shy away from other Asian and prefer to be white or with others. I am not against interracial relationships or marriage, but when one excludes or prefer one race is better; then I sympathize with other good looking Asian brothers who feel rejected.
I can’t complain as I already have a super sexy Asian girlfriend. I think we would make good looking Asian babies. Something to think about. Again I am not against interracial mixed marriages, but some who are of mixed Asian heritage usually come out looking white and shy away from their Asian ethnicity. I do applaud the Asian sisters who do support us and prefer us like her. http://somekoreanchick.xanga.com/?uni34454429-direction=n&uni34454429-nextdate=7%2f8%2f2008+4%3a4%3a49.103#module-34454429.
We do not just want to be with white men. I’m sorry. And if you met an Asian woman who just wants to be with a white man, then she has issues and insecurities. We will be with whomever treats us the way we want to be treated and who we are attracted to. Color of skin is not an issue! period!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with someone who only wants to date a particular sex. Maybe that is all they are attracted to? I am a white woman and all I’m really attracted to are asian guys but I have no insecurities or anything. That’s just how it is. If a woman wants to date outside her race, just get over it.
I agree. It makes no sense for an Asian girl to say “I will only date white guys,” just as it makes no sense that a. Caucasian says “I will only date Asian girls.” Why? Its as she said – there must be some problem with a person who says and believes such things. Its one thing to say “I have a preference,” but to say “only?” It has no positive and healthy ground to stand on.
Hi – I agree with you. It’s the players, the game is not different or changes..sick of these whiny. bitchy Asian men speaking about what they can’t get out of these country. You know what then? Leave!!! We don’t want you!
The funny thing about Asian men complaining over Asian women crossing racial lines is that they are the type of Asian man that Asian women complain about: overly rigid expectations, unsupportive, demanding, insecure. I’ve heard from Asian women that they cross racial lines to find someone who is a little more easy going and accepting, and less demanding. This seems to be the case especially for the more ambitious go-getter career oriented types. The expectation of a traditional Asian woman’s role seems deeply ingrained in a lot of Asian male psyches. The downside to crossing racial lines is the propensity for a some white men to see all Asian women as submissive babes ready to become Stepford wives. The corollary is that a lot of white women, including friends of mine, cop a catty attitude towards Asian women. The general theme is something along the lines that these submissive, servile, ultra-feminine women are playing dirty by corrupting men and turning into male chauvinist pigs. It doesn’t matter how intelligent or accomplished she really is.
People really focus too much on things that don’t matter! I am a Black woman who married and divorced an Asian man. I am currently dating an Asian man. Do people sometimes looked shocked? Yes, but so what? We are happy. If you are angry about who is dating whom you don’t have time to find your own happiness. For the record, I have dated Black and Latino men as well. Men really aren’t that different.
This Asian Boy speaks on Dating White Women
How about Asian men who have a fetish for white girls?
If Asian guys were going out with white girls more this forum wouldn’t be so crazy. The problem is that Asian guys are wussies (yea, I said it)
They need to learn the art of the flirting again..from Asian guys who just “get it”
Where Can You Find These Guys? ==>Asian Pimp Status
White guys that go for Asian girls are usually the ones who can’t get white girls. Asian girls are their last resort. Here’s proof:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ8xDSEqzto
Also, read some of the comments on there. See what white guys “really” think of you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRgy4wiJVF0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yoe8brf5cPg
Check out the trailer to this new documentary. Its about white women who go to Asia to have sex with Asian guys. Its kind of funny because i never thought id see this. I guess white dudes aren’t the only ones with an Asian fetish.
Oh gawd. I am proud to be an asian man, but when I look at the posts made by my fellow asians I feel ashamed. Asian guys out there. Don’t be hating on white girls, white guys, asian women or whoever u decide to blame everything on. Go to the gym, be more confident. Do you guys think that we, asian men, will be able to get more girls after you say something like “I’m an Asian guy. I have to say I probably wouldn’t give an Asian girl who had dated non-Asians a chance…” Ahahaa. I just want to say, what is in the world is wrong with you? Why so much hate? Just cuz the white boy has more game than you, doesn’t mean you hate the asian girl.
“Yeah, Asian men, as usual, are the LAST RESORT. Guess who is first choice?” Wait What??! Are you out of your mind? Why so bitter? Let me tell you. YOU may be the last resort, but not all asian men. My my…No wonder we asian men have such a bad name. Step out of the stereotype. Show the world that your more than that.
As an Asian guy, I don’t really care who ever Asian girls date. it is none of my business. It is my business when they starting spewing stereotypes about Asian people.
It seems many of them are ashamed to be Asian. It is just sad. I for one think that preserving culture is a worth while goal.
After all you are Asian and when push comes to shove, in the eyes of everyone – you are Asian and that come with all the stereotypes that society put on us. Sadly, many Asians rather turn a blind eye to it and blend in rather than face the music together
This web site celebrates the Asian culture and the women who join this site embrace their Asian backgrounds. I have to completely disagree with you based on the fact that Asiance was founded on these principles.
Being an Asian woman living in an area with a small Asian population, I have to agree that I’ve met many Asian women who do prefer to surround themselves with white people. The occasional case is that they only like blacks or hispanics, but the big issue is with the women who only like whites and most times, it’s to fit in, to feel less Asian, etc. etc. I’ve heard this many times and mainly from women who look more “stereotypically Asian,” like small eyes, thin bodies, super high cheekbones, etc. I really think that’s an issue. It’s one thing to like someone for who they are, but some of these women were friends and they were taken advantage of and were so easy for the white guys who would later just dump them when they were through. And I have to say that it happens to be the case that many of the women who do date white men are submissive, although I’ve met a few who are spitfires. They also want mixed babies so they can be models. Mixed babies are just like everyone else. Some are cute, some are ugly, most are just normal.
I think people experience it everywhere and it’s harder for Americans to understand being a mixed culture and all. I’m Lao, my fiance is Korean, and we experience the same questions. Like ‘why aren’t you dating a Korean girl,’ or ‘What, you don’t think a Lao boy is good enough for you?’ The truth is, I prefer Asian men and think the Lao men I know are sexy and he’s very much attracted to Korean women, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be in love. Preserving culture is very important, but I think the ones who are not confident in their own ethinicity/heritage/sterotypes are the ones who don’t care for preservation.
the article says “preserving racial purity isn’t a worthwhile goal”
Wait, isn’t this a website directed at Asian women? So then what is the point of it? Just a primer on how to survive being Asian until it gets bred out? No, it’s to celebrate being Asian and female, so the race and culture should mean something!
Very well said! We all need to find our OWN happiness. I’m a Black woman also and I’m happily married to an Asian man(Chinese)for 14 years with 3 beautiful daughters. It’s so true…men really aren’t that different. 🙂
My aunt is also married to an Asian man and has been for the past 30 years and my uncle is the best uncle ever! Real love isn’t concerned with color or race.
ATTENTION ASIAPHILES!!!
Read below:
I was once like yourself, but I cannot cure you. It takes a person training their own mind in order to change your preference.
Instead, I will help you another way.
Here is a list of tips on how to HIDE your asiaphilia from an asian woman you are attempting to court:
1. Wear sunglasses.
The main way asian women can tell a man is an asiaphile by the look in his eyes, and a person can tell a lot about a person just by looking in the other persons eyes (their mood, their attitude, etc.)
2. Make sure you are hygienic.
This is a given for in any situation with a woman. Asiaphiles as asians call you, and once called me, are identified by a certain disgusting thing about them. A lot of asians have made the observation that a lot of asiaphiles dont shower, and some dont shave, and some dont do either. Make sure you are shaven and showered in the mornings. Make sure to get those hair cuts every now and then.
3. Work on your social skills.
Social awkwardness can come off bad. In fact, it almost always does. Make sure you are not nervous when talking to one. Try not to stutter, or say “um” too much.
4. Talk to her like any woman of your own race.
Not all of them are foreighn, so dont try to talk to them in some random asian language. And dont speak slowly either.
When attempting to make conversation, dont ask her where she is from, or about her culture, and dont talk endlessly about how great you think asian culture is. Talk to her like a woman of your own race.
5. Dont be racist.
This should be a given, but dont talk about asian steotypes, or make fun of asians, or say that asian men are inferior to her face. try to be racially sensitive.If you seem racist, then she may suspect you are an asiaphile.
6. Respect her like any other woman of your own race.
If you have nor respect for women, then I cant help you.
I agree w/you. But you & the author have to realize that these people are Asian men IMITATORS and make us sound crappy.
It’s a very transparent tactic. I would never buy it.
Peace out brother.
Frederick Douglas onces said, “without struggle there’s no progress.” I agree absolutely, history tends to repeat itself, whether the intentions are for good or for evil. What gets me (as an asian male myself) frustrated is when there are asian women that LIKE to talk negative or criticize about asian men. That sort of reminds me of the theory that Adolf Hitler believed his dad had Jewish ancestry and felt a deep hatred toward the Jews (since he was beaten by his dad), which is so screwed up!
OMFG! I get this a lot. I tend to date asian men (I’m white, french to be specific) and when a white guy tries to hit on me, and I go for his asian friend, I get the nasty question “Oh you your afraid of big dick huh?” and his asian guy friend will just stand there and laugh, like it is no big deal at all. I get so upset. It drives me up the wall! It’s like! Why the hell are you so jelous?! I don’t find myself attracted to you! If an asian girl went for you, would you want her white friend dissing her “stretched V-jayjay” because she only likes white guys? It is honestly who you are attracted to.
Asian guys need to learn how to kick ass.
When people try to punk me, I take the fight to them in a very public way. Not only do I kick their ass, I also do it so that others can see the consequences of trying to bully a short Asian man like me. It’s fun to see bullies squirm and then run when I take the fight to them.
By kicking people’s asses, I live a quiet peaceful life. However, things are not peaceful for me in the bedroom. I’ve been with women of various colors. Real women date and marry men who will protect the family and build a good life.
If anything, I have to kick more ass. My weakness is that I let beautiful women punk me. I will soon get to the point where a hot chick that punks me becomes somebody else’s ex girlfriend.
Actually, most of the time we are judged and hated if we are attracted to Asian women. The mentality of most people that it is okay to have a racial preference unless you are white or your preference is from white men is why we get pissed.
Until the hypocrisy ends, white men will continue to act this way.
Luckily the newer generations of asians could care less; asian girls/guys dating all kinds of people.
Hi Samantha, please spread your legs a bit wider for the next white guy, the wider you spread, the whiter you become. You are the goddess of the world, acceptance is yours into thy society shall ye spreadeth for the powerful blue eyes blonde hair 😉
PLease find white guy, go on top of mountain, sing “we are the world” and then rimjobs on demand to be white and show off to the “other” asians
Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but
after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing
all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say
wonderful blog!
Hi – it would be here! If you’re not a regular user, comments just need to be approved. I’m sure it is here.
God I do love how asian women feel this constant need to go on and on explaining ‘why’ they might be with a non-asian man and ‘why’ we shouldn’t judge them or make assumptions blah blah. But when you see such clear TRENDS of asian women with non-asian men, there can be NO denying that it’s not just pure coincidence. Many asian women turn a cold shoulder to any and all asian men and are ‘so nice’ to all other men. And non-asian men KNOW this only too well and so many of them target asian women…NOT cuz they necessarily prefer them..but because they are so easy.
These self-hating women are usually the very same ones who complain how much they hate guys with ‘yellow fever’, and yet here THEY are, with non-asian male fever. But no one ever wants to talk about that though…