This Sunday, Moms Don’t Have to Be Sherpas
Mothers today think they have to be attached to their brood 24/7. It’s nuts, and bad for kids. Forget the crayoned cards and carbonized toast. The real gift on Mother’s Day is a break. It’s the one day of the year when moms are not expected to be physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and electronically attached to their kids. The rest of the year? No such luck. Over the course of the past generation or two, the definition of good mom has morphed from “lady who loves and feeds her kids” to “lady who watches over her children every single second of the day lest they get abducted, bored or disappointed.” It’s an impossible standard. It’s also nuts: Kids are not in constant danger, and a few disappointments are good for them. Ditto, boredom. Yet hovering has become the norm. Many moms believe that hovering has been the job description since the very first Mastadon & Me class. But the idea of constant supervision didn’t exist even a generation ago—and I can prove it. So can you: Did your mother love you? Did she also let you ride your bike until the street lights came on? Enough said.
For official evidence, pick up the double DVD set “Sesame Street: The Early Years.” You’ll find vintage footage of little kids playing Follow the Leader—and the leader is not a middle-aged woman with bags under her eyes. It’s another kid. A similarly sunny segment shows a small fry playing in a vacant lot with no adults in sight. But before you can enjoy a single nostalgic nugget, the DVD warns: “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” That’s right: Sesame Street will no longer endorse the idea of kids playing on their own. And don’t even get me started about PBS’s “Cat in the Hat.” Now the mom is at home. How did this omnipresent parent paradigm come about? Here we must blame the usual suspects: media and marketing. Anytime anything untoward happens to a child, which, unfortunately, the nightly news seems to live for, the anchors are almost guaranteed to shake their well-coiffed heads and beg parents to “Please! Watch your children!”
The dangers are never put into context. Their rarity is not discussed. And so parents feel afraid unless they’re watching their kids 24/7. Meanwhile, the marketplace has rushed in to reinforce this fear. That way, companies can sell them leashes for the little ones and alarms that shriek if a child wanders more than 10 feet away. There’s a new device being developed at a Japanese university that kids can strap across their shirts. It not only gives their GPS location, but it has a camera and a heartbeat monitor. So if a child’s heart starts racing, the device can immediately snap a picture of whatever is in front of them. After all, it could be a predator. Last, but not least ludicrous, there’s the new Piggyback Rider, a backpack that can carry kids up to 60 pounds or (sit down, readers) 7 years of age. Says the product’s Web page: “It accommodates children once they are able, but unwilling, to walk.” Wouldn’t you just love to schlep around a kid like that? Here’s the good news, moms: On your special day, you don’t have to. The better news is that you don’t have to be your kids’ sherpas any other day, either.
Happy Mother’s Day to the Best Mother in the World, My Mother, of course, and to all of the Mother’s around the World!
I remember how horrified I was when I first witnessed a toddler with a leash attached to her body in Manhattan! Shortly thereafter, I began to see many children of similar ages with the same device strapped to their little bodies. Unfortunately, some women are just not cut out to be parents! My heart goes out to them bc I really lucked out in the parents department!