More Chinese get help to get hitched
There are more than 22 million singles in China, with a huge proportion of them located in major Chinese cities like Beijing and Shanghai. The pressure to get married or be left behind has led tens of thousands of single men and women turning to dating services and marriage preparation courses for help. The demand for such services is now growing in another parts of China. One of the places where singles seek help to get attached is the De Yu School for Women.
The school, which was started in 2010 by 33-year-old founder Shao Tong, became famous after it claimed to be a school to help women find rich husbands. It has been accused of promoting materialism among women here in China. But the school said students get more than tips on getting hitched. Founder Shao Tong said: “It’s about developing inner beauty. I’ve been asked what kind of woman do I want to develop? I say a virtuous woman. That’s the kind of woman sought after by men all over the world.”
Students pay over 6,000 yuan (US$900 or about S$1,200) to attend a year of courses. One of its 32 personalised courses on offer is called “How to Marry a Rich Husband”. The school said it currently has about 2,000 students enrolled, adding demand is growing, especially outside of Beijing. There are now plans to expand to at least eight other Chinese cities including Shenzhen, Tianjin and Guangzhou. Marriage consultant Ting Zhenyu said: “China has a huge singles population. “Divorce rates are high. Successful women who are highly-educated and highly-paid have lost the softer feminine touch. “Successful men aren’t particular about a woman’s financial background and career. “All they ask for is a stable family. China is still very traditional. Girls must be girls.” This could be why the school places great emphasis during their classes, on values such as filial piety, respect and communication with the opposite sex.
The school also teachers students what to wear, to attract the right man. Grooming consultant Jie Ting said: “From a male perspective, basically, a woman must be elegant and poised. And confident. Those are key points.” The school also provides cooking lessons and teaches its students the art of Chinese tea. The youngest to have attended classes in the school is 19 years old, while the oldest is 49. But due to privacy reasons, only one student agreed to be interviewed via the phone. When asked why she decided to sign up for classes, the student said: I felt like an emotional failure but I didn’t know why and what to do”. She added she used to be very impatient in the past but has become emotionally calm after attending classes. The student added she has since started dating again, a month after attending classes.
Successful women who are highly-educated and highly-paid have lost the softer feminine touch. Successful men aren’t particular about a woman’s financial background and career. Girls must be girls. This could be why the School for Marriage in China places great emphasis during their classes, on values such as filial piety, respect and communication with the opposite sex. That may be true in China but certainly not with the Asian Americans in the United States! In the U.S. power women or modern women as they refer to themselves are very unattractive to men. The ironic thing is that so many American men flock to Asian American women because they are so traditional, extremely well-groomed, fashionable, poised and elegant, love to cook and serve their men while at the same time maintaining an inner strength so I am surprised to hear that Chinese women suffer from this problem. Most American women have for the most part lost their elegance, have no interest whatsoever in cooking or serving a man in any way, exude masculine qualities, have 0% patience or tolerance and let themselves go by appearing frumpy in high end social situations. And yet so many of these American women who I am referring to are married to very rich men!
The bottom line is rich or not — you get what you think you deserve and feel most comfortable with. Believe me, money doesn’t necessarily equate to confidence and security. The other thing is that marrying a man for his money is just one step above prostitution and YOU will pay for it by being miserable if you do not love the man for himself! My friends and I had several of these opportunities and never had to go to school for it. Those are a few very important lessons that the School for Marriage in China should teach their female students!