Should I Text Him First? NEVER

Are you tempted to pick up the phone and give him a call? What about one innocent little text? If you are thinking about sending that text, think again. Read this first! He ALWAYS makes the first move! But what about text messages? It can’t hurt to send him a little hello, right? WRONG! Here is the very simple rule that you must follow when it comes to that sweet little text message: Never, EVER send him a text first! At the start of your dating relationship, it is HIS job to do the pursuing. Let him chase you!

He should be the one calling you, sending you text messages, and trying to get your attention via email. He is the one who should be sending those sweet little texts to keep him on your mind. Men naturally want to pursue a woman. By texting him first, you undermine that law of nature. It might be tough to keep from texting him. It really pays to keep your distance. Here’s why: Have you ever noticed how a man will go crazy over a woman who plays hard to get? She gives him mixed signals. She blows hot and then she blows cold. She makes him wonder what is going on with her.

The more mysterious she seems, the more he wants to figure her out. A man will drive himself crazy trying to figure out a woman who doesn’t respond the way he expects her to. That’s why playing hard to get works! It triggers his need to pursue. When you play hard to get, he wants to capture you. He wants to make you his so he can have more time to figure you out. When you call him before he had a chance to call you – or when you send that text before you get one from him – he realizes he might not have to work so hard. That means the thrill of the chase diminishes. You have just shot your chances of his pursuit. So don’t send that text! But what happens when he DOES send you that text? What happens when he makes the first move? Then it’s decision time. When he does send you a text, there are three rules to follow:

RULE #1: Don’t respond to the simple cutesy messages.
A man who sends a quick “what’s up?” or “how are you doing” or anything along those lines isn’tReally trying. You don’t have the time for such silly things, right? After all, he needs to see you as a busy woman with many suitors and options! Besides that, there is the fact that a man who really wants to communicate with you will say something that stimulates your mind. He will want to truly listen to what you have to say. Any man can do this via text. He can ask detailed questions or give you details about his day. THAT kind of text deserves your attention! So don’t respond to messages that are too simple and sweet. There is nothing to say. If he wants to have a serious conversation with you, that’s another thing altogether.

RULE #2: Don’t respond immediately.
As I said before, there are some text messages that are worth your attention. If he is really trying to open a dialogue, then that does deserve some notice. But no matter how awesome his text message is, don’t respond immediately. Give it several hours at least! Quickly answering his text gives the impression that you were waiting by the phone. It says that you had nothing better to do. Even if that is TRUE at that moment in time, that is the LAST thing you want him to think! The point is to be mysterious. He has no idea why you didn’t answer his text right away. And that’s GOOD. You want him to wonder! You want to be that mysterious woman that is tough to get.

RULE #3: Avoid the texting habit.
Those are good rules for the first several weeks or months of dating. He has to show you he really wants you. He has to put forth plenty of effort. But once you have moved into a relationship, the rules change a little bit. Yes, he still needs to pursue you. He still needs to show you that he wants you and he is willing to work to get you. But at this point, you need to give a little bit, too. So when he texts you, maybe you don’t respond immediately, but you get to it sooner than you used to. When he sends a “how are you?” text, you can answer it – after a while, of course. But always avoid the texting habit until you have a chance to really, truly get to know him! Texting back and forth all day long can be great fun. But you still need to keep the mystery alive. Texting him about your every move during the day does nothing to add mystery to the situation! Keep the mystery alive by avoiding the long text conversations that so many people fall into. Your text messages to him should thrill him! Your small “I’m thinking of you” notes should warm him from the inside out. But you can’t do that if you are continually texting him. The thrill loses its edge! It’s like doing your favorite thing over and over. You love it at first. It keeps you occupied and happy for days on end. But after a while, even though you still really like doing that favorite thing, it starts to get a bit old. You start to think about other things. Pretty soon, your favorite thing doesn’t appeal to you as much as it used to. That is NOT what you want to happen with Mr. Right! So keep your thumbs away from the phone and don’t text him before he texts you.

That is how you distinguish Mr. Right from Mr. Right now. If you have determined that a man fails as marriage material then who cares? If you must, email, text, write, call to your heart’s desire but get it out of your system with a man who doesn’t matter and who isn’t a valuable future investment. Perhaps he qualifies as your buddy with benefits or can serve some other purpose in your life. : )