Play the cards you are dealt
“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” [Jawaharlal Nehru, former Prime Minister of India]
Clearly, both what “cards” you were dealt and how you played them make a difference.
Life’s winners credit themselves for their outcomes; life’s losers blame circumstances. Clearly, both what “cards” you were dealt and how you played them make a difference. Ideally, you will view your hand realistically, play it with skill, even get a few lucky breaks as the game of life proceeds.
What cards were you dealt? Geography, era, parents and family, genes, looks, talents, early education, early finances…I am sure there are more.
If you were born in South or Central America or Mexico, most of Asia, Russia and much of Eastern Europe, the Middle East [except Israel], Africa…you started off at a big disadvantage, unless you were a member of the elite of these countries. If you made it out of such a tough starting situation, congratulate yourself, you lucky woman.
Readers of asiancemagazine.com are all fortunate in having been born in the current era. A hundred years ago or earlier, the opportunities for women were abysmal, not impossible but nearly so. Perhaps in fifty or one hundred years society will be even better…barring some global catastrophe. Who knows?
You did not choose your parents, and they largely shape our destinies. Some are caring and nurturing and encouraging, but many fall far short of these descriptions. Too many parents have been abusive and demeaning or simply cold. If yours were good to you, you were fortunate. If not, soldier on! Extended families can add or subtract from your well-being and your upbringing. Your early education and finances will be heavily influenced by your family, too.
Besides the environments they provide, parents provide genes: smart or not, tall or not, pretty or not, talented in any one of a myriad of ways…or not. Even attitudes like optimism and assertiveness have genetic influences.
Yes, as the great American poet Robert Frost wrote, “the lovely shall be choosers,” but he went on to show how those choices could go wrong, despite how tempting as each selection was when made. If you are lovely, choose well. If not lovely, fix what you can, and realize that other aspects of the hand you were dealt can help bring you happiness.
Maximize your strengths, your advantages, your high cards, and minimize your weaknesses.
Where does that leave you? Maximize your strengths, your advantages, your high cards, and minimize your weaknesses. Educate yourself. Strengthen yourself. Believe in yourself. Have goals that require some stretching.
Here is the tricky part: somehow one must both strive and find satisfaction while striving, must journey toward a distant goal while enjoying the trip, must appreciate being alive in twenty-first century America.
How lucky is lucky enough? Do not require being in the top 1% or even the top 10% to be satisfied with your life. Keep in mind all those who were born in places and at times and in situations much worse than yours.
Play the cards you are dealt, as well as you can. “Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,” as Kipling advised, but also heed his counsel not to let your happiness depend on winning or losing, “meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same….”
Though serious, life is like a game. Play on! Enjoy.
Dr. Cooper is a retired scientist, now a writer, author and writing coach. His first book, Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage and Devotion, was published by Outskirts Press in 2011 and is available from Outskirts Press, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble, in paperback and ebook formats, as are his co-authored The Shield of Gold and Ava Gardner‘s Daughter? His writer-coaching web site is http://writeyourbookwithme.com.