For Me, Raising Asian American Daughters Began with Tom Cruise

You can blame Tom Cruise for this blog. It’s not all his fault, really. But he bears some responsibility for this post, and all the ones to follow.

You see, if I had never become a dad, I wouldn’t be writing this blog about Asian American daughters. And guess who finally convinced me to take the great leap into fatherhood? Tom Cruise.

Okay, it wasn’t Tom Cruise exactly. It was the character he portrayed in the film Collateral, which co-starred Jamie Foxx. In the movie, Cruise plays an assassin who forces a cabbie (Foxx) to drive him around L.A. for one night, so he can carry out his killings.

Later in the film, Cruise calls out Foxx for always dreaming of owning his own business, while not taking the simple steps to make that happen. And despite the assassin’s cynical, cold-blooded nature, Foxx recognizes that Cruise is right. Foxx has indeed been a lot of talk, and no action. He’s been too afraid to seize the opportunity; he’s been too afraid to really live.

As I watched the movie, it was as if Cruise was also calling me out. Because I had been terrified up to that point in my life of becoming a dad. I was afraid, as most fathers-to-be probably are, of the massive responsibility that parenthood brings. But because of my own personal issues and struggles, rooted in the wounds of my childhood, I was even more fearful of screwing up any child I might have. It’s so easy to screw up a kid, I often said. I knew just how easy, because it happened to me. My upbringing seemed respectable and typical enough, but as a young adult, I was crushed by the weight of my emotional issues. So I was deathly afraid of saddling my future kids with their own crippling emotional problems.

But Tom Cruise came along and helped me to put my fears in their place, to seize the opportunity, and to really live.

A little more than two years later, my wife and I were blessed with our first daughter. Not quite three years after that, our second daughter arrived.

That’s how I became a dad, beginning my journey in raising Asian American daughters. And that’s what gives rise to this blog. If you end up liking the blog, great! If not, you can blame Tom Cruise.

P.S.: Everyone is welcome to read and comment in this blogspace! Whether you’re a parent, relative, educator, or advocate, etc. of Asian American girls, that means you. And most of you readers are grown-up Asian American daughters yourselves, so you have plenty of personal experience to also contribute to the conversation. So please feel free to chime in!

There are many aspects to raising Asian American daughters, so I’ll be populating this blogspace with several kinds of entries. Here’s a preview of some of the categories of posts you’ll see:

Perfectly Imperfect: Raising Asian American daughters requires a lot of trial and error! In these posts, I’ll reflect on the trials and errors of the endeavor – but also on the joys and blessings, too!
Mad Dad: Society is still characterized by some big things that are unfair to girls and women. These things will feel my wrath.
In the Name of Love: In these entries, I’ll comment about issues our generation must address so the next generation inherits a healthier world.
Well, Booky Here: In these posts, we’ll discover children’s books and other media with Asian American themes.
Roles for a Lifetime: I’ll introduce you to women, both contemporary and historic, that my girls can look up to as role models.
Introductions: There are a number of folks I’ve met who give eloquent voice to the issues and resources involved in raising Asian American daughters. You’ll get to hear from some of them.
Laughter Rx: Is laughter the best medicine? It sure helps! In these entries, I’ll share funnies that have made me LOL.

Special thanks to Jaymie for giving me the opportunity to set up shop here. And thank you, kind reader, for stopping by Raising Asian American Daughters. I feel truly honored by your visit, and I look forward to spending time here with you!