About 50 parents, students and educators gathered at Hermitage High School Saturday

About 50 parents, students and educators gathered at Hermitage High School Saturday morning for a freewheeling discussion on education for the Richmond area’s Asian community.

Hosted by the Asian American Society of Central Virginia and the Henrico Education Foundation, the forum gathered educators from Chesterfield and Henrico counties to speak with Asians about the challenges they face.

The two-hour exchange ranged in topics from societal pressures and kindergarten entry ages to bullying and cultural barriers.

Goutam Gandhi, who is from India, said his 10-year-old daughter has become quieter in recent years, raising her hand less often in classes.

“That’s a pattern. I can tell you, in my culture, they will be quiet. Even if they have a question, they just won’t ask,” he said.

Cynthia Alam, a Bengali-born sophomore at Deep Run High School, agreed.

“When I was younger, I was really quiet,” she said. “I didn’t want to ask questions because that would mean that I didn’t know anything. Because of my cultural background, I felt like I had to be perfect.”

Malik Khan, chairman of the Asian American Society, said that’s not unusual.

“There is an undue emphasis that is placed on Asian-American kids,” he said. “It is important to have good grades and what have you, but in doing so, they sort of neglect the social skills.”

Gandhi suggested that local school systems should look at the idea of a program to examine cultural differences and seek ways to lessen the negative impacts of the culture collision.

Bryan Carr, instructional specialist for school counseling in Chesterfield, said the key is making children feel comfortable in their skin, not different because of it.

“You’ve got create opportunities where students feel comfortable in sharing because parents, these students are becoming third-culture kids, whether you think they are or not,” he said, describing that third culture as a blend between “Americans, the school system and your culture.”

Marianne Vermeer, the mother of an adopted Chinese son who is about to enter high school, said she was “very concerned about culturally appropriate places for him to consider for high school” and asked for advice.

Rick Ames, a math teacher at J.R. Tucker High School and a native of the Philippines, said the more diverse, the better.

“Tucker’s a great place to be because no one notices that you’re different because it seems like everyone there is different,” he said, with a colleague noting that 32 languages are spoken at the school.

One attendee asked if young people felt more accepted in school now and more willing to embrace their culture. Not so much, Alam said, using the example of her younger brother, who is in second grade.

“He kind of looks down on us,” she joked. “He’s like, ‘No, you guys were born in Bangladesh. I’m American. I know this.’ ”

She said that he feels embarrassed when his mother wears Bengali attire.

“He doesn’t want to be different. He wants to be just like everyone else,” she said. “I don’t know how to change that.”

Khan said the event was the first of its kind and called it fruitful, noting that educators had been methodical in noting the issues raised.

“Above all, I think it was the interaction, the discourse,” he said of its value. “There were many points made by the parents that I think were extremely beneficial, and that’s worth its weight in gold.”

http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/2011/nov/20/tdmet01-asian-american-society-forum-discusses-edu-ar-1471577/