The Starfish Thrower—What Difference Does It Make?

“What difference does it make?” often greets proposals to help others. One of my writing clients, Mike DeMaio, is finishing his memoir, Amends, and in it he describes what inspired him and his neighbors to set up a charitable organization to aid the refugees from the terrible genocide that occurred in Rwanda two decades ago:

From the book Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley came a story that was made into a children’s story called “Sara and the Starfish.” The story goes as follows:

An old man had a habit of early morning walks on the beach. One day, after a storm, he saw a human figure in the distance moving like a dancer. As he came closer he saw that it was a young woman and she was not dancing but was reaching down to the sand, picking up starfish and very gently throwing them into the ocean.

“Young lady,” he asked, “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?”

“The sun is up, and the tide is going out, and if I do not throw them in they will die.”

“But, young lady, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it? You cannot possibly make a difference.”

The young woman listened politely, paused and then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves, saying, “It made a difference for that one.”

[Adapted from http://mommiesofmiracles.com/star-thrower-loren-c-eiseley/]

The man thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back to the sea. Soon others joined.

We chose this parable as our category_iding theme for this endeavor:

In 1994, a great war storm came to Rwanda and millions of human “sea stars” were washed from their land and became refugees. Many of them are still struggling to survive. We wanted to make a difference, or at least try our best to make a difference. We helped create the Rwandan Refugee Relief Committee and sought prayers and support in assisting the families of two local Rwandan graduate students who had fled Rwanda and were dispersed in various refugee camps.

In June 2003, our “sea stars”–Blaise, Gaston, and Amedee–left the refugee camp and made the ten-thousand-mile journey from Cape Town, South Africa to Portland, Oregon. Nine years after the Rwandan genocide, and after losing their parents, they were finally reunited with their aunt and uncle. Tears of joy filled our eyes when we met Blaise, Gaston, and Amedee for the first time. We had worked very hard to sponsor their coming to the U.S., and it couldn’t have happened without a large group from our community who came together with faith and hope that we could make a difference, and we did make a difference.

Mike and his family have remained particularly close with one of these refugees, Amadee, who is like a son to them.

As described in his memoir, the trauma of his year of fighting in Vietnam– almost half a century ago–has shaped much of Mike’s life. His marriage has made it through difficult times, their conflicts largely engendered by his Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD]. He calls their relationship, “Marine Corps weds Peace Corps,” yet somehow they have made it work.
He eventually became a counselor to help other vets recover.

We have myriads of veterans of our wars now suffering their after-effects. Lucky to be alive, yet unlucky to be mentally injured and physically mutilated. We recognized them again this May, during Memorial Day week-end, as we should, but they need our continuing concern and assistance.

“What difference does it make?” can be asked of many worthwhile endeavors that can only solve a small part of a large problem. Admittedly, we can only do so much, yet like the starfish-thrower, we should try to “brighten the corner where we are,” doing what we can to help.

It makes a difference to the ones we save.

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Dr. Cooper is a retired scientist, now a writer, author and writing coach. His first book, Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage and Devotion, was published by Outskirts Press in 2011 and is available from Outskirts Press, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble, in paperback and ebook formats, as are a memoir he co-authored, The Shield of Gold, and a memoir he edited, High Shoes and Bloomers. On Twitter, he is @douglaswcooper. His blog is http://douglaswinslowcooper.blogspot.com. The excerpt from Amends Is used with permission of its author.