Aren’ We Supposed To Be Having Protected Sex?
On Apr 22, during the Q&A segment of a reading I did at Barnes & Noble last year, someone asked, “Do you spit or swallow?” He did not raise his hand, nor did he speak loud enough so I could hear him. Rather, he asked the question just loud enough so my family seated immediately in the row in front of him could hear. On Apr 22, during the Q&A segment of a reading I did at Barnes & Noble last year, someone asked, “Do you spit or swallow?” He did not raise his hand, nor did he speak loud enough so I could hear him. Rather, he asked the question just loud enough so my family seated immediately in the row in front of him could hear.
I mean, you really can’t say, “Actually, I would prefer a pearl necklace, please,” when you have a dick in your mouth.
Since he was so fixated on me that he went out of his way to attend my reading, we can assume that he reads this column on a regular basis. To answer your question, anonymous heckler, I do neither: I do not spit, nor do I swallow.
That’s not to say that I haven’t done either in the past, but I always felt uncomfortable with the presumptuous nature of the “spit or swallow” dichotomy, as if those are my only two choices. I mean, you really can’t say, “Actually, I would prefer a pearl necklace, please,” when you have a dick in your mouth.
And aren’t we supposed to be using condoms anyway? If a man is wearing a condom like he’s supposed to, then spitting and swallowing are not viable options. Although spitting may seem safer than swallowing, think of it this way: Semen is a bodily fluid, just like urine. Would you let a man piss in your mouth? And would you want to swallow it or spit it out? Probably neither, but no judgment against anyone who is into that sort of thing.
We’re supposed to be using dental dams, too, but I’ve never seen one. Not one in my lifetime has a man ever used one while going down on me, even on my not-so-fresh days. It surprises me how unconcerned some of these men are about safe sex. All the more reason not to let them cum in my mouth!
However, many women enjoy swallowing their partner’s ejaculate when they finish them off. I’ve done it before, either because I’ve really liked the guy or because I didn’t want to offend him. But I feel really stupid about my behavior in retrospect. It wasn’t safe and I’m damn lucky I didn’t contract any STDs. Maybe I’ll do it again for someone I truly adore in the future, but it’s not likely: I’ll probably just envision him peeing in my mouth and get too grossed-out to go through with it.
Join Jessica Cutler every month here at www.asiancemagazine.com and www.jessicacutleronline.com where she writes about dating, sex and relationships.
I just had to say that is the best responce to that question I have ever heard. I hope your heckler is properly embareassed by his actions and his complete stupidity. I havealways respected hen smeone can turn a proper phrase to put someone in thier place without being vulgar or resorting to the crutch of the weak mind, the 4 lettered words. Agian my hat is off to you my lady for keeping your dignity and poise.
I’m the anonymous heckler. I’ll give you a pearl necklace. A nice shiny one with BIG pearls.
LOVE reading her columns! keep up the great work!
Wow! That is all I have to say
Big talker talks to compensate for small smalls.
If these are the type of pearls he gives a girl imagine the CZ.
I’m sure that being married to you will be a most joyful occasion.Especially in the bedroom.On goes the “princessification” of asian women.Nice.(Not Really)
Is that why the bulk of the well-educated ones fall hard
for “TODD”?You know TODD…that dorky White guy that no breathing White girl would give the time of day…but he’s got a degree…he’s lo-maintenance sex-wise…and he likes mid-priced sedans.He probably does’nt even suggest that you swallow.Oh well…I guess his 4 incher beats the 3 you might otherwise get.;->
Looks like Ms. Cutler rejected your sorry ass!? Why so angry?
Anger!?
More like amusement.
Ah…the strange bedfellows our twisted American caste system maketh.Way to go twinkie.Stand up for your sista’.;->
Caste sys? Like you would have any clue? You sound like such a wannabe! Does it excite you to attack a woman who does her thing with no qualms? or is it deep down knowing you would never have a chance with the female race no matter what ethnicity? You’re obviously a major tool with no options to get laid on a thurs night. Good luck LOSER!
I think that your commentary illustrates that there is a disconnect between what intelligent people pontificate about and what they end up doing privately, behind closed doors. The vast majority of people take far too many risks. The whole spit/swallow debate is sort of irrelevant in my estimation. If a girl makes me feel that good that I want to ejaculate, I really do not care where it goes nor do I need to degrade my partner in order to certify my masculinity. HOWEVER, I do believe that male or female, one must consider all elements of attraction and “conditional attraction” where you find aspects of a partner’s sexuality replusive is indicative of a genuine level of interest. If I am sincerely attracted to a woman, there is very little I am unwilling to do to or for her sexually. And some women do “squirt” you know so I have been on the receiving end of that….but since I was into the person, it was not unpleasant. Just FYI.
Ms.Culter , Two words for your article: Excellent. Work. As a former HIV/AIDS prevention educator with the American REd Cross we learn that body fluids are the basic forms of transmission for the viruses or other stds to travel. My apologies for you for the dumbassed heckler who disrespected you at your reading. Please keep up the excellent work regarding sexual health/dating issues here at asiance.
Very good post, thanks a lot.