Sex Secrets of an American Geisha

We receive many books to review here at Asiance but this one in particular caught our eye, “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha”. Our initial thought was, “Oh no, not another how to please your man self-help book”. We’ve already read millions of them. Why is it always about what we can do for him? What about us? We receive many books to review here at Asiance but this one in particular caught our eye, “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha”. Our initial thought was, “Oh no, not another how to please your man self-help book”. We’ve already read millions of them. Why is it always about what we can do for him? What about us? To our surprise it’s not that type of book at all and we believe you’ll find the contents interesting and helpful. We really liked Chapter 7 Define Your “Good Man”. Because it’s not what they want it’s WHAT WE WANT. It’s what they have to offer not whether we are good enough.

Start by finding the right type of guy and stop wasting your time on guys who aren’t going to change or more importantly who aren’t even worth you waiting for them to do so. Ultimately, we have the choice, not them… so we believe you should start here with these points of defining what a good man is… ..It’s all about you, until you find the one who is worthy enough to keep the relationship passionate and happy. But FIRST you must find that good man… ..and sorry ladies, it doesn’t say anything here about accepting cheaters, substance abusers or anyone who doesn’t put you first. There’s nothing better than being in a great relationship with a good man!

Finding the right type of guy: excerpted from Chapter 7 Define Your “Good Man”. With practicality and warmth, Py Kim Conant invites you, the reader to become her “Younger Sister” – “ a geisha-in-training. Always frank, she shows you how to explore your feminity and sexuality while connecting with your “Good Man”. She shares sex tips and techniques to bond your man to you and explains how, once you’re married, you can continue to use the wisdom of the Geisha to keep your relationship passionate and happy.

The Four Core Characteristics of a Good Man

As you consider what makes a Good Man good, you will first be concerned with the very basics. These are the most important and fundamental areas of a man’s character that must be right in order for you to have a wonderful, happy love relationship and marriage with him. The smart, assertive, sexy American Geisha does not compromise at all in these four areas; your Good Man must show you that he possesses these traits.

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A Good Man’s Four Core Characteristics: 1. He has good values. 2. He is aware, conscious, and responsible. 3. He is nice, and he is supportive of you. 4. He is positive, optimistic, and happy.

A Good Man Has Good Values

What this means, in essence, is that he is honest, that he tells the truth to you and to others, in both his personal and business lives. Because he tells the truth you can trust him and relax in the security of the relationship. You do not always have to be on edge, wondering what the truth of any situation actually is. When people live in accordance with their values, they have integrity.

Py Kim Conant

A man can have good values no matter which religion he practices (or even if he practices no religion). Liberals and conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, rich and poor can all have good values. When a man tells the truth you can respect him. The American Geisha would find it difficult to respect a man who lied to her, and respect for your husband is critically important in a good, happy, sexy marriage. Both Scott and Neil were less than fully honest with me, and I realize now that I didn’t always respect them.

He Is Aware, Conscious, and Responsible

Your Good Man is conscious of what is going on around him, of his relationship with you, of his dealings at work, and, generally, of the passing of the years and events in his life. When he is aware and conscious you feel heard by him, appreciated by him for what you do and who you are, connected to him because you are both actively involved in your relationship. For your Good Man to be responsible simply means that he doesn’t blame others for much that happens in his life, but instead takes it upon himself to do the best he can to succeed in life and in his relationship with you. He’s dependable. Here, again, I now see that both Scott and Neil, rather than taking responsibility for doing what needed to be done, chose to deny that they had serious untreated problems (erectile dysfunction and depression, respectively).

Your Good Man Is Nice, and He’s Supportive of You

Niceness or kindness is so important in the definition of a Good Man. Couldn’t you, dear Younger Sister, put up with a whole bunch of imperfections in a man if he were consistently the nicest person in the world in the way he treated you? “Nice” is an underappreciated adjective when it comes to personality traits. Notice whether he treats other people kindly, too. A man who is supportive of you has your best interests at heart and wants you to be successful in whatever you attempt. He believes in you, cares for you, and wants you to be happy. He builds you up and never tears you down. He’s a friend and a teammate as well as a lover and a husband. I see so clearly now that Scott and Neil just weren’t very nice to me.

He Is Positive, Optimistic, and Happy

This final core trait has to do with a Good Man’s way of looking at the present and the future, as well as how he interprets the events of his past. Many psychologists believe that this attitude has a strong genetic or inherited element that is difficult to change. Most basically, you want to be a happy woman who’s sharing her life and marriage with another happy person, not a happy woman trying to make her unhappy husband happy. Getting someone else to change is always difficult, even harder if much of his negativity is based in his DNA. From my experience with Neil,

I can testify to the intractability of depression and negativity, no matter what another person does to help the sufferer overcome it. Instead of your changing him for the better, his negative life view will probably drag you down – ”at least, that’s what happened to me. Over the years with Neil, I became more negative, more pessimistic, more depressed, and unhappy. I blamed myself that I couldn’t help him no matter what I did. As a kind, caring person, dear Younger Sister, encourage such a man to find help – ”as difficult as any change may be – ”but do not try to be a helpmate to him and do not put your own happiness at risk by staying with him.

Instead, find a Good Man who has done whatever psychological work he needed to do. Find a Good Man who is already positive, optimistic, and happy. The Asian Geisha accepts all of the men she deals with exactly as they are, without demanding, expecting, or even hoping that they will change. She knows that they will not. Learn this lesson, my dear American Geisha: Men will not often change. Do not try to change a Bad Man or a Wrong Man, for only your great unhappiness is likely to result. I felt lonelier when I was with a Wrong Man than I did when I was actually alone. Don’t make my mistake. Instead, find a Good Man who already has the core qualities that you require for your and his great happiness together.

“Sex Secrets of an American Geisha” is written by Py Kim Conant. She has published three books in Korean and has written a biweekly column for the Korean Daily in Southern California. She is the founder of a club for Korean women married to American men. She lives in Los Angeles. http://www.americangeishahouse.com/