First Love

“Have you thought about it?” he anxiously asked.

“Yes,” I answered slowly.

I can hear him fidgeting from the other end of the phone. “And?”

After a deep breath, I retorted, “I don't think I can do it. A relationship. Not with you, at least.”

“Why not?” he said barely in a whisper.

“Because you represent everything I stand against,” I quipped, trying to convince myself. “I cannot risk falling in love with you knowing that the chances of getting hurt far outweighs the chances that I won't.”

At this point, I felt like banging my head against the brick wall of room. Voices in my head are ranting — liar, liar, liar!

“But… but you never know until we try right?”

“Come on, how many girls have you been with? And out of those, how many were you in a relationship with?” was my lame challenge. Could've at least done better than that.

“Fine, you got me,” he admitted. “Those were all in the past though. Can't a guy make some changes in his life?”

“Leopards rarely change their spots,” I echoed my friends' bolleries during the past few days of my confusion.

“Fuck the leopards!” he exclaimed, his voice a mixture of resentment, anger and desperation.
“Don't you get it? The main difference between those girls and you is that I'm falling in love with you.”

I snorted. “Hah, yeah. And what would you know about that?”

He sighed.

“Not much. But all I know is that I've been with many girls before… but I want you to be the last.”

But I wanted to be your first…

… as you are mine.