Sound Off
There’s something about dirty talk that can be a real turn on. It could be what’s being said, how it’s being said, who’s saying it, or maybe you just have to be in the mood for it. While some couples prefer to keep their lips sealed, others like to break down walls for their neighbors to hear. You don’t have to get really raunchy to do it right. When it comes down to it dirty talk is just like any other seduction.
I once dated a guy who was a huge fan of dirty talk. His name was Tyler. I found out it was one of the milder kinks that he enjoyed in the bedroom. He wasn’t into a lot of lascivious things but for some reason he had a thing for dirty talk. I found out early on in our relationship.
“Do you have any turn ons?” I asked. It was Saturday morning and we were hanging out in bed next to each other. He was going over a list of venues for work, while I was playing with a Sodoku puzzle. It was a very random question but I was still curious.
“What do you mean?” he responded.
Tyler was a very tame guy but always gave a good romp around. He wasn’t much for toys, games, or funky positions in bed. Doggy style was as “adventurous” as he got.
“Besides physical features, is there anything else that turns you on? Like in bed?” He thought about it for a few seconds. “Well?” I asked, continuing to probe. I could tell something was brewing in his head because he started to blush. He put his paper down and turned his head towards me.
“Dirty talk.”
“Dirty talk?” I retorted.
I was a little taken back. I don’t know why. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would be into that kind of stuff. It’s not like he told me he was into orgies or threesomes. Tyler was a very tame guy but always gave a good romp around. He wasn’t much for toys, games, or funky positions in bed. Doggy style was as “adventurous” as he got. He did like dirty lingerie, but what guy didn’t? So for him to say that he was into dirty talk was somewhat surprising.
“The things you would say, the sounds you make, it’s really sexy. I like it.”
I quickly thought back to all the times we had sex. What could have I possibly said to turn him on? Was I drunk? I don’t think so. I would moan the usual “oh’s,” “ah’s,” and “ya’s.” Sometimes I would combine them and give out an “oh ya.” Then there there’s the occasional “that feels good” or “harder” but nothing so dirty to be considered “sexy.” I never really thought about what comes out of my mouth during sex. It just comes out naturally.
I met up with my friend Sheila for lunch. I wanted to get another woman’s insight about the topic. Is it something that everyone is into? What are people in bed saying these days?
“Do you use a lot of dirty talk while having sex or is that just not your thing?” I asked.
“Dirty as in what? Like “oh, it feels good’ or “ya, deeper?'” she said.
I shrugged. “I guess any kind of dirty talk.”
“Ya, I use it. I say “harder,’ “I’m so wet,’ “you’re so hard.’ Why? Is Tyler into dirty talk?”
Watching him getting turned on by my foul mouth was definitely a turn on for me.
“I’m thinking dirtier. And more graphic. Maybe somewhere along the lines “I like when your hard dick is inside my wet pussy.'” Sheila looked at me with disgust. All of sudden I felt icky for saying that. I guess that’s the kind of thing you could only save for the bedroom and you’re boyfriend apparently.
“I don’t think I could say that. I would feel embarrassed.” And she certainly did. Enough said.
Back at work I was screening scenes to build our next show. I took notice at some of the things that these porn stars would say. I figured if you’re looking for something dirty to say, turn to the professionals. They would know best. Then again, it doesn’t take a genius to come up with this type of shit. Some of these lines were absolutely obscene. I don’t think I could bring myself to say these kinds of things while I’m in bed with Tyler. I’m a fucking lady. Plus, I would just feel silly saying it. Then again, sex is sex. It should be fun, playful, and sexy. If this is what gets him going, then why not?
The next time we had sex, I decided to throw out one of those lines and see how he would react. Let’s see where it takes us, you know, just for fun. At first I felt stupid. It didn’t feel natural. Was he actually buying this shit? But then I noticed that he was really getting into it. He was breathing heavier and moving faster. Then I started getting into it. Watching him getting turned on by my foul mouth was definitely a turn on for me.
“Say that again, baby,” he moaned. So I did. Then all of a sudden he said something else that I didn’t expect.
“Does that feel good? Tell me what to do.”
Moaning, small talk, even a compound sentence every once in a while, I
can handle, but don’t ask me questions that require me to think. If I can answer with a few simple words, like a yes or no, then we’re golden. How can I possibly answer these questions when you’re fucking me? Save it for post sex. It will be obvious if it doesn’t feel good. Usually an “ouch,” blank stares, or a limp body are good signs to switch it up. I can’t stress enough how important communication is during sex, but there are times when you just have to shut the fuck up and get to it already.
I didn’t know what to say. I was stumped! I was too far in my zone to respond. Everything was feeling great. I didn’t want to ruin my groove so I pretended not to hear him. Instead I continued on “oohing” and “ahing” to divert his attention. I finally came. It was like I crossed the finish line with victory. Eventually he did too. Sometimes you have to get a little dirty to get the job done.
Your article is broken. It appears to have an Asian male in it.
Then again, he has brown hair and looks like he’s a Hapa. I guess that’s a slight improvement in showing that the “modern” Asian American woman is willing to tolerate some Asian male blood.
I’m still waiting for the article that states that since Hapas are half Asian/white, the Asian half will cause the man to beat his girlfriend/wife with the right Asian arm and leg where the left white arm and leg will patch up her wounds and comfort her.
Maybe in about two years, Asiance will be ready to graduate to a guy who’s 3/4ths Asian. Slow progress is better than no progress, I always say!
Then again, now that the guy would be 3/4ths Asian, the male would be able to use two arms and 1 leg to beat his girlfriend/wife.
Sandra – I think the part you don’t get is a) pictures are worth a thousand word 2) Most Asian American women are in a relationship with Asian American men whether this site admits it or not 3) By calling the site for Asian American women and all your articles basically are from the perspective of a self loathing, white washed girl, you are basically ignoring majority of your intended audience. 4) I think this site would be better off changing the title to “White men who want Asian Women” or “Asian Women with fetishes for white men”. If that’s your audience, at least be honest about it vs. trying to send that subtle message that the only way for Asian women to feel validated as women in the USA are to be with white men. Oh yeah, those subtle digs at Asian men and Asian culture seem to be the common message across your articles. 5) If this site is suppose to support Asian Americans, all you are doing is rehashing the same old stereotypes already out there being spread out by the white male dominated media. If you are suppose to support Asian Americans, don’t you think you should at least have some positive articles on Asian American women’s relationship with Asian American men? 6) Finally, pictures are worth a thousand words and it is true for this site.
jenny- 1) what I dont understand is how you can define a person by the race of people they date. get off your high-horse of asian pride and get a reality check. pride doesnt stand on the grounds of who you date. 2) who cares if most asian women date asian men. this column isnt about the sexual experiences with only asian men. its a column of sex IN GENERAL! if your interest only lies with sex with asians then why don’t you google another website. 3)no one is self-loathing or being a poser here. the only thats happening here is the fact that people continue to bask in their own ignorance of modern culture and refuse to accept that fact that we’re living in a world of growing MULTICULTURATION AND CULTURAL ASSIMILATION! if you dont realize that now then apparently you’re not living in today’s modern society. 4) shut your face because you suck anyway. 5)no one is rehasing stereotypes of anything because what you’re saying is taking this whole article, and even column for that matter, out of context. do you need help in your asian relationship because it seems like that’s what you’re looking for.
He is hapa..do you think this site would really put a full bred, 100% Asian guy in any of these pictures?
Is it just me or does no one pay attention to the article at all? No where does the author mention race so I don’t understand how race became the issue at hand. For crying out loud, she’s fucking talking about dirty talk. First you guys complain how there’s always an interracial couple on the article and never any Asian dudes. Now that there’s finally an Asian dude on the front, still more complaints! What is wrong with you people?
Is this your idea of MULTICULTURATION AND CULTURAL ASSIMILATION? God you are stupid. Go look up the definition and see if this site fulfills that. So your idea of multiculturalism revolves around white people and white people only right? I think the world has blinded you. Did your dad and brother beat you as a kid or something? Anyway, this site is perfect for people like you. Have fun at it. My only wish is this site would stop calling itself an Asian American women site cause it is really misleading.
are you serious? the pictures used for these articles are the subject of the comments left for the majority of her articles. hasn’t it ever occurred to anyone that the writer’s boyfriend might be white??!! OMG! probably not since it doesn’t seem to be registering to any of you self-proclaiming asian nitwits who can’t get off the fact that a white guy is used in the pictures. focus your attention on something else, perhaps the article! ooh. that might be a thought. (you idiots.)
Case closed…
a fan of dirty talk
Obviously Asian males come across this site too and if it’s truly multicultural, please include Asian males. The first impression of this site comes across as a “I love white guys” fan page. Unless that’s what it is, then just call it that so Asian guys like me don’t think there’s actually a magazine that includes us and makes us want to click anything and waste our time. Don’t sell yourselves short, there’s lots of potential.
and if it’s truly a “MULTICULTURATION AND CULTURAL ASSIMILATION” society, then you really don’t need to add “Magazine for Asian American Woman” it would be “Magazine for American Woman” (period)
as for the article….
My girlfriend now and GF’s before love dirty talk. After watching Harold and Kumar2, we’ve been joking about Cockmeat sandwiches lol!