Oral Fixation

“Quid Pro Quo,” Latin for, I get mine, you get yours. But while Latin is considered a “dead language,” the language of sex is very much alive, and more importantly, oral sex. When it comes down to it, we all want it, but sometimes it’s all give and no receive.“Quid Pro Quo,” Latin for, I get mine, you get yours. But while Latin is considered a “dead language,” the language of sex is very much alive, and more importantly, oral sex. When it comes down to it, we all want it, but sometimes it’s all give and no receive.

We’ve all been there, the first time oral sex is brought to the table. For some, oral sex is comparable to a first kiss, while others consider it a right of passage into the depths of intimacy. And while the human race is conflicted by the division of culture, race and religion, the big divide is whether or not oral sex is considered sex. And yes, while the terminology implies very clearly that it is, lately I’ve begun to question it myself.

Take for instance my friend Julia, she’s been single in this city for most of her adult life, and with the exception of a few dry spells, she’s been actively dating and sleeping with men for almost a decade. The other night over dinner, after discussing the usual – job, family, latest gossip about our mutual friends, and our favorite topic, sex. Since I hadn’t really formed a conclusive answer on my latest quandary, I wanted to ask her opinion on my oral sex dilemma.

“So what do you think,” I asked, “is it or isn’t it?” Her puzzled look told me she had never asked herself this question before. But then after a long pause and a few “wells” and “ummms,” she put down her vodka tonic and let out a long sigh.

“If oral sex is sex” she began “then, I’m a big whore.”

Wow, I didn’t see that one coming. Julia is not the kind of girl who sleeps around, and is very confident in her sexuality, so I have to wonder, why this sudden very inaccurate realization. “Do tell” I prodded, “I’m dying to hear this one.”

She confessed, that while she could mostly definitely give the first and last name of all the men she had slept with, she could not come up with the same information about those who she had received cunnilingus from.

“In all honesty, there is one, whose name never came up,” she said.

“Really?” I asked. I couldn’t believe it!

“One time, on vacation there was this incredibly beautiful Brazilian man” she starts. She proceeds to explain that while she was out one night with a few girlfriends, she met a man. “He walked up to me, and whispered in my ear,” she says with a smirk; that lets me know that whatever did occur between them was nothing short of mind blowing. “He asked if I would sit on his face for the rest of the night.”

At first I laughed, because this was not quite the dirty pickup line I expected, but then after a moment, I saw the appeal. “Did you have to return the favor?” I asked, because of course, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, pun intended.

“That was the best part” she continued, giggling at the thought of this naughty secret she was currently sharing with me, “after his indecent proposal, in broken English, he proceeded to tell me that he wanted nothing more from me. How could I refuse that?”

At this my jaw dropped. “He said that?” “Well then, in that case, call me a whore, because that offer is right up my alley!”

Imagine, a man who asks nothing more of you than to spread your legs and have him please you for hours. No bartering over who will go first because we all know that the last person to cum always gets short changed. No rushing through his session, so that you can get to the main event: YOU. Simply put, you get to have your cake and he eats you too!

“So was it amazing?” I asked, my jealously obviously transparent at this point.

“It was incredible” she gushed. “He gave me exactly what I wanted, and then he left, and it’s not always the best situation, but that night, he made my fantasy come true”.

Don’t get me wrong, oral sex is not always as selfish and self-indulgent as I’m making it out to be. There are times when I’ve stopped my boyfriend while he’s playing with me and gone to town on him, expecting nothing in return. There is something very sexy and empowering about giving someone that much pleasure, but there are times when all you want is to have him take care of you, and roll over and go to sleep, maybe cuddle, but sometimes even that isn’t necessary. Nothing is better than being on the receiving end when it comes to getting head.

The art of oral pleasure may well be the greatest find yet, an act so decadent and delightful. I can picture the first man to discover head, as he slowly kisses her stomach and fiddles with her nipples as he’s done a thousand times before, suddenly, he wonders, what would it be like if I put my tongue there? As his unsuspecting partner, knowing nothing of the joys of oral sex waits for the foreplay to stop and the penetration to begin, she suddenly is startled by the location of his lips. She is slightly scared, but then wait, is that his tongue? And the rest is history.

After discussing it with Julia and giving it much thought, I’ve realized the oral sex debate will join the ranks of the many unanswered questions in life, like do blonde’s really have more fun? Does size really matter? But whether you consider oral sex an appetizer, or an entree, there’s no denying that it is definitely one of the best things on the menu. So even if you are an oral sex whore, or even a plain old whore, as long as you’re enjoying yourself and being safe, does it really matter?

my.asiancemagazine.com/elysia