A Few Good Asian Men
After swimming in the dating pool for quite a while, I’ve come to realize what my preferences are in a guy. I’ve dated enough men to know what I want and don’t want. How hard is it to find a well-rounded, non-crazed guy in this big city? The more men I meet, the slimmer my list of preferences becomes. Then I realized another thing that I never took into much consideration until recently. When it comes down to it, I’d probably be more inclined to date any guy who isn’t Asian.
After swimming in the dating pool for quite a while, I’ve come to realize what my preferences are in a guy. I’ve dated enough men to know what I want and don’t want. How hard is it to find a well-rounded, non-crazed guy in this big city? The more men I meet, the slimmer my list of preferences becomes. Then I realized another thing that I never took into much consideration until recently. When it comes down to it, I’d probably be more inclined to date any guy who isn’t Asian.
Racial preference is a funny thing. I never knew how aware I was about race when it came to dating. It shouldn’t be a factor when it comes to love but you can’t help who you’re physically attracted to. When I go out with my girlfriends to parties or during happy hour, I instantly bypass any guy who is Asian. There’s something about them that doesn’t appeal to me. I can’t exactly put my finger on it. Maybe it’s their spiky hair. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve dated Asian men before but mostly Filipino men. There have been countless times when my mother would try to set me up with a “nice Filipino man” and they would all be the same- just nice.
My mom would ask, “Elysia, what did you think of Tita Jewel’s son? He’s a nurse and he comes from a good family. He’s nice, right? You guys should go out.” Then one day she got me.
I never realized how simple it was to be with a Filipino man. I found that dating Asian or Filipino men were easier. What I meant by easier was that there’s less to work with.
I once dated a Filipino guy named Leonard and it was great. We dated for 3 ½ years. He was sweet, romantic, considerate, and he really knew how to take care of me. Most importantly, my parents adored him. We met through our parents obviously. He was the ideal man, the kind of man every Filipino parent dreamed about. So why didn’t things work out between us? Besides personal differences, our relationship was too perfect. It all came too easily for me, almost predictable. I know. I have a tendency to fuck things up but what’s love without a little heat and passion? But that’s an entirely different story. If I continued to stay with Leonard I knew where our relationship would go, how we would end up, and I was too young to find out. Two years from then, we would have gotten married and had a very traditional Filipino wedding. We would have lived with my parents until we were financially settled and eventually have five kids named Boy, Baby, Ligaya, Roberto, and Don Don. Then we would live the rest of our lives in routine, coming home from our lousy jobs to feed the kids. At the end of our day we would go to our separate spaces while I watched my soap operas on YouTube. My husband would watch his karate DVDs and we would have no sex. From what I witness that’s how most Filipino couples ended up. If that’s what was in store for me, I didn’t want to be part of that relationship.
But after dating Leonard, I never realized how simple it was to be with a Filipino man. I found that dating Asian or Filipino men were easier. What I meant by easier was that there’s less to work with. Asian men are familiar with the unspoken rules of our culture. You don’t have to remind them to take off their shoes when they walk into somebody’s home. They’ll immediately greet my parents and relatives when I take them to family gatherings. They know to call my parent by “Tita” and “Tito” rather than their last names because it’s more respectful.
I brought Tyler, my last boyfriend who happened to be white, to my house to meet my parents for the first time. I gave him a quick crash course of what to expect when to come to a Filipino’s home. I warned him about the funny smell because my mom was always frying fish. I told him to make sure not to eat lunch before he swung by because my mom would be offering him food and would refuse to quit until he’s well fed. Filipinos like to feed people even if they’re not hungry. And if there’s one thing he shouldn’t forget, it’s to take off his shoes before he comes in, which was the first rule he broke. I nudged him and darted my eyes at his feet to remind him to take off his shoes. He gave me a quizzical look as to why he has to take them off.
“Just do it,” I said.
Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient. Everybody loves them. Who wouldn’t love a guy who already knows all the rules without having to remind them what they are?
“Why?” he whined. I didn’t know how else to explain it to him. You just have to. It’s respectful. It’s the golden rule when you are welcomed into any Asian home. Now if I were dating an Asian guy, he would have automatically taken off his shoes without any question or hesitation. It’s a simple gesture that doesn’t have to be explained because it’s already understood.
I sighed and responded, “Because you’re supposed to.” It wasn’t Tylers’s fault he wasn’t familiar with these cultural gestures. How was he supposed to know? It’s not as if he was given a hand book to dating Filipino women. So I cut the guy some slack.
Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient. Everybody loves them. Who wouldn’t love a guy who already knows all the rules without having to remind them what they are? It’s one less thing to worry about and it makes life so much easier, but highly predictable and more or less boring. I can tell you pretty much what every Asian guy I dated was like and how they looked because they were all the same. They looked like your typical “Asian guy.” What does that look like? They had the dark, spiky, gelled up hair. It must be their signature trade mark look. On casual days, they would rock the Northface jacket with Timberlands. When we go out to a club I cringe every time they drag me to an all-Asian party. All the guys would wear a collared shirt and blazer with neat jeans. Around their neck was a gold chain with a crucifix. They either majored in nursing or business. You can always find them rolling up in some sort of pimped out Honda Civic representing their flag or a rosary hanging on the rear view mirror. They usually smoked Marlboro Reds. And for some reason, I kept finding myself with the same kind of guy. At that point, I knew it was time to branch out and see what other fish were swimming in the sea.
Dating different guys is fun. I’m all for interracial dating. In this city, who isn’t doing it these days? I can still remember when I dated my first non-Asian guy. He popped my interracial dating cherry. It’s interesting when you get to learn about each other’s cultural backgrounds, and hey, you might even be able to teach him a thing or two also. It’s refreshing to meet someone who isn’t entirely similar to you. I don’t have to put up a front of being the “nice Filipino girl” the way some guys would presume Filipino women were like, which I never had to do anyway. It’s just that this time I’m not pressured of acting like one. It’s nice to know that some guys won’t have the same expectations from me that I would of him if he was Asian. This isn’t to say that I will never date another Asian or Filipino guy again. Who knows? Maybe some “nice” Asian guy will change my mind and end up teaching me a thing or two.
Hey Elysia,
When you went into the characteristics of Asian men, such as drive hondas, wear Khakis and smoke Marlboros, you forgot to add small weewees…hahahahha! Just a general observation..jk!
The writer is falsely playing the good cop, and that idiot above me is playing the bad cop. Notice that the website will not censor the bad cop as it does asian men that post on this site.
The only thing I noticed the website deletes are comments calling Asian women the c word or every other name in the book. You know mostly relevant comments that some of the angry asian men post.
I actually read this one all the way through. I agree with Truthplayer 100 percent! It seems the author is juggling with instilling vendetta fueled insults, and trying to create the appearance of presenting an informative article. I can see that there is a lot of game playing in regards to many of these blogs at this site. Reasoning is completely ‘out the window’. I think it would be befitting for this neo-genre of intra-racism to be met head on with it’s own medicine. Certain stand-up comedians attack every type of individual known to man that sits in the front row seats. It’s time for some gutsy stand-up comic to blast some smug acting White male/Asian female couple who think they’re making an interracial statement, sitting in the front row on national TV. If this were to become a stand-up comedic trend, the favor of dissing bitter medicine on internet blogs would at least be returned in broad casted media form! The methods used by some of these blog authors at this site bear similarities with stand-up comics, where humanitarian reason is for the most part non-existent. The only difference is, these blogs are not even remotely funny!
Lucas,
Lighten the fuck up.
I actually agree with you to some degree. For one, I agree that it would be “lame” for an Asian man to pose as a White man. That being said, if I’m not a White man, every thing I’ve said is ‘bogus’. Being half Russian, I may have some Tatar blood way back in my lineage. Other than that, everything spells out “White guy”. I also understand that she’s conveying her experience. And I think she can handle critique however strong. If one is going to create a blog, one needs to expect that. You’re also putting White men in a box by stating how we will or will not react. My Russian relatives are fairly recent immigrants to the U.S. In my youth, I was actually bothered by the exotification of Russian women. Admittedly, it doesn’t bother me anymore. So in a small way, I can somewhat identify with the angst of many Asian men seeing the same exotificaton of Asian women. Although it’s obviously far worse. You also have to understand the other side of the coin in terms of how many of us White men abhor hearing other White men bashing White women. And thus, seeing them use Asian women as a standard of comparison. While it’s not a big deal in mere isolated cases, the fact that it’s somewhat of an increasing phenomenon is disturbing. Another thing you need to consider; as a White man I’ve lived all my life with White people. Some of us do understand the ‘ugliness’ of the White superiority complex, even in it’s subtle form. And it is in fact disturbing to see someone fall prey to White worship.
First off, I’m not going to hide the fact that I’m Asian. Now that that’s said, I’m going to let everyone know I have full intention of calling Asian women “stupid golddigging cunts” but will add a “j/k” at the end.
I expect no objection from any Asian woman here, especially Sun Fan.
Also forgot to add that this is the most backhanded and insulting article I have ever read on this site. The problem is that Asian women are wanted by both groups which gives them this sense of entitlement and allows them to carry a chip on their shoulder.
Asian women, compared to women of other racial demographics, belong to the only group that have completely out leveraged the men of their racial group. It’s the exact opposite of what is happening to black men and women.
I used to sympathize with Asian women and their constant battles of fending off stupid “asiaphiles” until I realized the obviousness of the truth, it’s not the white men who harbor most of the racial fetish, it’s Asian women.
Asian men just haven’t realized it yet and keep listening to Asian women’s stupid sob stories and how hard their lives are. Asian men need to man up and just move onto women and show we’re not to be placed on the back burner and be second choice. In places like NYC, Asian men have noticed this left and right. The good news is that more and more Asian men are starting to realize Asian women for who they really are.
Let them go, dating a pretty Asian girl is like digging through a trash can and finding the most appetizing thing to eat.
Also, I find it ironic that almost all these stupid Asian American websites talk about social unity and whatnot but have no idea that this topic is one of the biggest problems. Here’s an example: Asian women date white men at record numbers which causes Asian men to be insecure. This causes Asian women to date more white men. Sometimes, people need a helping hand and Asian women just like to place all the blame on Asian men but hold no responsibility. These are the characteristics of a child.
It’s common sense, you retards. If the opposite were happening to Asian women, they’d be insecure too. Just take a look at what is happening to black women in North American society. Asian women are now a huge liability to Asian men.
It is now clear to me and I’m sure everyone else that Lucas is an Asian guy. I had my doubts but now I’m completely sure.. soooo Lame! Just be yourself and say you don’t like it..NO White guy would give 2 craps enough to sound angry in their posts like you do.
their warped logic.
Very disturbing.
Doesn’t that merely mean use nicer words and phrases to describe truth? Isn’t it obvious that the author is using intra-racism to promote interracial relations?
I think you underestimate the offensiveness of the content from this blog to extend through racial barriers.
You are obviously a minortiy or this wouldn’t bother you so much. Stop saying you are white. It’s obviously offensive to you because you are Asian. This is her experience, her opinion, she IS allowed to share it. I’m sure all other ethnicities have their own cultural similar experiences.. Other asian girls can identify with this……AND why don’t you get the stick out of your ass?
Real mature attacking the author and Asian Women’s physical appearance. That says something about you. No wonder.. That is all I have to say.
1. Many Asian men and women have an inferiority complex, self hate, and White worship towards Caucasians. This is why Asian women more easily accept propositions from dorky White guys who are bald, old, fat, wimpy, homely-looking, or social rejects from their home country. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that these disproportionately attractive pairs are because being ‘White’ gives the guy points in the minds of some Asians. Also, many brainwashed Uncle Tom Asians will say or do *anything*, including bash their own culture or opposite gendered people of the same ethnicity, in order to fuel the ego of their White Trophy. White worship and inferiority complex is also the reason why Asian men are more shy and less confident approaching White women.
2. Look at the tons of ads, commercials, movies, fashion mags, mall posters that feature and glamorize and ‘brand’ White people as the prettiest, best, etc. Then look at how many Asians try to surgically enlarge their eyes to look more Caucasian (the #1 surgery among Asian women in Asia), or the growing number of Asian girls who dye their hair blond and wear blue contacts.
3. While unspoken, many White men secretly know about Asian White worship, and they go to California or Asia to be social predators leveraging their White skin. Many English teachers in Asia are unqualified teachers, dirty perverts, or social rejects from their home countries, with major superiority complexes and White Knight mentalities in Asia, at least based on their blogs online.
don’t know where you grew up honey…judging by the pic. of the writer, i honestly wouldn’t even take a look at her if i were walking down the street. pictures say 100 words right. i can tell she is very uncomfortable with herself, obsessed with what others think of her, and has an intense desire to “fit in ” with the majority(white men). that alliance reassures her that she is worthwhile and makes her feel accepted, temporarily soothing her poor self esteem.white man is like a nice designer handbag that she can proudly tote around, but as you all know, desigener brands still don’t hide fact that you’re appallingly unnappealing.
What about you yourself, Sun Fan?
“Oh Asian guys have small weewees! LOLLL!”
“You’re just bitter cuz you have a small penis!!!!”
So, it’s ok for you to insult asian men’s physical appearance and make elementary school jokes about their dick size, but Asian men can’t speak their minds?
Yeah. “That is all I have to say” too, beyotch.
Sun Fan’s comments are typical of a self hating, Uncle Tom, White worshipping Asian female.
They’ll laugh along with White males who make fun of Asian men or Asian culture, they have no self respect or ethnic pride when it comes to their White trophies making offensive comments about Asian males or culture.
The biracial kids of these specific self hating parents end up with major identity issues.
Also I find it so sad that some Asian women buy into this Uncle Tom behavior, reiterating the cliche’d penis joke, when Asian women themselves have flatter chests or butts than their female peers.
Additionally, and the guys here should take note, if you hear this stupid joke, reply that even if Asians on average are half an inch shorter, White males are notorious for having limp soft dicks even when erect, and major problems getting up or keeping it up. I heard this directly from White women who have told me about White guys, and the few times I’ve used it in response to arrogant Whites, it shuts them up so fast because it’s true for so many of them. Also, those who obsess over cock size show how they’ve never pleased a woman in their lives which is why they obsess over length, either that or they are closet homos.
asian men are like puppy dogs?
what do you want….for them to start cheating on you and beating you up or something?? i don’t get it.
all asian guys are not the same – there are chinese, japanese, korean, filipino, thai, etc.
and some even grew up outside of the US and Asia.
i bet an asian guy raised up in london or something would act just like your white boyfriend – be confused about taking off shoes and how to act.
i also bet you would still not date this asian guy and just find another excuse for wanting to date his white friend instead.
Elysia –
I get the feeling that the issue here is that, in your mind, Asian men are equated with stability and family. And at this stage in your life, you’ve got a bit of commitment-phobia. That’s perfectly okay! I do too. Nothing scares me more than the thought of getting married, settling down, having children, and waking up one day when I’m in my 40’s and being completely unhappy with what I’ve done with my life. I freak out every time one of my friends gets engaged or married.
I’m looking for spontaneity and a relationship that isn’t meant to last (with maybe a hint of challenge to “change” a guy… haha). That’s why I’m with my current boyfriend, whom I’ll call VS. He’s 2 years younger than me and an English major who is applying for his third college transfer. He’s an EMT whose goal is eventually to become a paramedic. He likes whiskey, cigars, and writing poetry.
He’s fun, he’s different, he thinks my red hot temper is awesome, and he likes my crazy ideas that sometimes touch on homicide. >.< (Maybe I should get that looked into.) And guess what? He's Asian-American! (And he doesn't have spiky hair.) Not all Asian guys are the same. I really must encourage you to look for Asian or Asian-American guys in different walks of life or from different ethnicities than the ones you're used to. You'll be able to share your different backgrounds while feeling safe that he will understand and respect where you are coming from. Good luck! ^.^
claiming to be an asian female dating an asian man. If this were true, she would be defending asian men. Instead she craps all over them.
either way, you’re pretty fucked up
sorry tools. I’m Asian and I’m dating an Asian guy.. I just like pushing your insecure Asian man buttons. My boyfriend is hot and secure with himself which is the most attractive part of him.. Unlike you!
we need strong asian males to call out these pathetic asian women like the author (i use that very lightly).
unfortunately, as many have said, there are few or no asian females running to our defense. very sad. brainwashed by the white man, and their low self-esteem. and i agree, with eric, the author is very unattractive.
many unattractive females relish in their white knight as if this alone, validates their existance.
Is anyone else disturbed by the growing number of Asian girls and boys who clearly mass media influenced to have self hate, White worship, and an inferiority complex?
More and more Asian youth are all too happy to say self-racist generalizations about Asians, as well as come with all sorts of lame or crazy excuses why they are proud to not date Asian, and only White.
“Your physical and sexual attraction is socially constructed,†says Elaine Kim, Ph.D., professor of Asian American Studies at the University of California at Berkeley, “and it’s hard to escape from that.†If you’re Asian, the way you see yourself and the way you think about beauty, according to Kim, is very different if you went to high school in Monterey Park (a community in Los Angeles County with a large Asian population), where the kids voted most popular, the most beautiful were Asian, versus going to a high school where everyone is blonde-haired and blue-eyed.
Karen, a 32-year-old Korean American who has dated mostly white men, readily admits she’s been affected by her environment. Growing up in a predominantly white town in Southern California, the only Asian males in her life were either related to her (father, brothers, cousins) or were the men at church. “I didn’t see Asian guys in a sexual way when I was growing up,†she says. It didn’t help that the only images she saw of Asian males in the media were of cringe-inducing geeks like Long Duck Dong in the teen flick, Sixteen Candles, or the strangely asexual and decidedly unattractive David Carradine character in the television series, Kung Fu.
“I just don’t find Asian guys attractive,†Karen says. “They’re usually short and slight and don’t seem confident.â€
http://www.audreymagazine.com/Sep2005/Features03.asp
Sue I hope you’re joking with your most recent statement, otherwise you sound like one of those growing numbers of self hating, Uncle Tom, White worshipping Asians who gain self esteem from pandering to White males. These individuals actually feel good fulfilling sex object stereotypes of them from White males, it’s so messed up.
How nice of you to be self-racist. Have you ever considered that Asian women on average also have flatter chests and butts, and less ideal hip/waist ratio compared to other women?
You sound just as crazy as the article writer. She won’t date Asian because they’re ‘too easy, too perfect’? People who have high levels of self esteem like to be with those most similar to them. The writer, and yourself Sue, sound like people who hate being Asian, and thus go for opposites, or like to be used and abused by White men who don’t respect you, or have Asian fetish, or only see you as an object, or just want to ‘try an Asian’.
I find it funny some of you think you’re being so progressive and open minded and race blind, when in fact you are being racist and close-minded. If you were so open minded, why aren’t you considering Indian, Latin, Black, or Asian men, and only White men? You can’t even get over your own self deception when it comes to White worship.
dude, you’re just pissed because you got dogged on by the author. you probably have spiky hair too! don’t hate because you got no chick on your arm and that you have a small dick. embrace your asianess. go hate somewhere else.
The author and Sue Fan should just bleech themselves White since they’ve been brain washed by the Jewish/White media for so many years. Their White Boy fever can’t be contained. Its probably best these two breed out their so called, “asianess” so no traces of them are left in a few decades. I’m Asian and personally have no issue attracting girls of all color. I also don’t have any issues with Asian woman wanting to date outside. But I do have a problem with the author and people like Sue Fan who go out of their way to put down their Asian male counterpart in order to justify why they date non-Asian. To believe your ancestors fought and sacrafice their lives against these colonialistic white-tards just so you can be born. Very sad.
I’ll push your buttons. Asian women have small tits and no ass.
Kenneth, I’ve heard this ‘only the low quality ones’ argument before, which I think is equally as lame as the excuses I hear from Asians who only date White.
Can’t Asian men just admit that it’s not just stupid people who are influenced by mass media images or society? Even very intelligent, or beautiful, Asian people are conditioned to internalize White looks, White features, and White people as the most attractive.
They were similar to the author in level of physical and internal ugliness. Ranked about a 2 or 3 on scale of 10. The one common denominator that I found among them was not only their low self-esteem and unattractiveness, but that no asian men wanted them!!!
So in a white nation like the US, that leaves many desperate white men seeking low-hanging fruit. Voila! Also, I’ve spoken with many white men who boast how easy these asian women are.
Here I thought “Wow, finally an article that gives us guys some credit!”
What a letdown. Never expect anything and you’ll never be disappointed.
I was not singling out the ugly ones. White-worship brainwashing effects even beautiful and rich, male and female.
Take the queen of all sellouts, Connie Chung. Denied she was even Chinese!
Why don’t her complaints about her white boyfriend reflect on his entire race?
for someone who is trying to be progressive, the author sure uses a lot of racial stereotypes and generalizations.
i’m sorry elysia that you chose to date the same type of guys, but they do not represent the entire asian american men demographic.
the trained puppy analogy is, by the way, very dehumanizing.
I have a fab rack.
Well I have a big “weewee.” Woop-de-doo.
YOURE WRONG.
This so-called magazine written for “Asian American women” is so full of hypocripsy its not even funny. I have never seen a place where Asian men gets bashed and put down to the ground by none other than our very own “Asian American women”. Where are the articles that glorify Asian female/Asian male relationships? Do all Asian American women share the same “white worship” experiences just like the author? If not, why have so many articles reinforcing this AF/WM partnership as the “correct” pairing behavior?
To the author: So Asian men are too predictable, obedient, and easy huh? Isn’t that ideally what everyone wants? Stability in a relationship and one that could last after say 50 years of marriage? You want somebody who cheats behind your back, breaks all the rules of your culture, and disrespects your friends and family? Okay, even if you want a little “spice” in your relationship, that doesn’t mean EVERY SINGLE ASIAN MAN fits your descriptions of being predictable, obedient, and easy. Open your eyes, even White males can have those traits.
To Sun Fan: Your comments in defense of the White knight is mildly entertaining to say the least. Every single comment you post is no longer than 3 sentences, with at least 75% of the content consists of poking fun at the Asian male physique. So are you even Asian yourself? Do you like to make fun of your Asian male friends, family, and relatives the same way? Are you saying your hypothetical Asian boyfiend has a small wee-wee too? If you agree with the above questions then more power to you, go see a psychiatrist since you definitely have a case of an identity crisis.
http://asiancemagazine.com/mar_2008/invasion_of_the_stereotype#comment-3792
It’s funny that Asian women would call Asian men insecure if they speak up because the huge majority of Asian women that date white men are the ones who are very insecure.
They usually do so in a desperate effort to belong and feel more American or at least they think whites will view them as being more American. this is also why they bash asian men because they think it wins them brownie points with white men.
I can almost picture them saying shit about Asian men and then turnin around to see if white men are smiling with approval.
Both Asian men AND women are very insecure. I really wish I wasn’t born Asian just to distance myself from asian women. it’s like being on the retarded team in high school.
” it’s like being on the retarded team in high school.”
Hilarious, Griff. Many proud asians share your pain.
To back up her Asian Man? Hurray.
I disagree with you. This website promotes stereotypes to suit their needs. There is nothing discrete about their self-serving agenda.
OK, so I’ve only dated one Asian man – the man that I will soon marry. But I didn’t go for him because he was Asian; he was, in fact, the very first Asian man I was ever attracted to. But he is nothing like the men you describe. No spiky hair (except when he cuts it too short), no rosary or cross, he has no small penis (thank you very much), and he sure as hell is no “trained puppy dog.” In fact, this also does not apply to my brother, who is a laid-back, intellectual, talented rock musician, who loves his long hair and collar-less shirts. While I get that you are stereotyping, isn’t that what you are trying to fight against on this website? I’d hate it if an Asian man wrote an article about how all of us Asian women are the same – gold-digging, whiny, cold-hearted, book-smart bitches. Perhaps because both my man and I grew up in homes where we were loved because of who we were and not because of what we are that we both have come up on top and are looking past the stereotypes that can blind us all.
The author is allowed to write about her dating history and you’re entitled to your opinion. Don’t understand how it “suits their needs”. I like the articles.
okay, if you’re the writer who was on the colbert show, your chinese is horrible. besides, how can you defend someone who makes hateful generalizations about their own race?
What a hypocrite! How can you ask me why I defend some who makes hateful generalizations and then you in turn say my chinese is bad? idiota!
And I have tons of Asian friends..One of my Asian girlfriends told me all Asian women hate each other…Didn’t say why just that it was a fact.. Don’t know much about Asian guys but looks like they don’t like Asian women too much either. As an outsider looking in, I believe it’s their own personal and inherent issues passed down by the parents who instill insecurities into their children about their race and/or they are just insecure about themselves.. Believe me, I know sum hot damn Asian men.. I hope that changes for all people. Would not blame it on media..Just like black people rape and rob each other. I hope you take an example from their book and see how a race that fights with each other does not evolve..
I get the feeling from the boards that asians don’t like each other very much. is there a white man or asian woman conspiracy to cause this? Lucas Mcain please advise.
To Whitey above – No we don’t hate each other this much. However, there is a segment of Asian American community that has some major issues with identities, self hating and dying for majority (white) acceptance due to the society we live in.
Sites like these are suppose to promote Asian American unity. Instead, it is used as a tool to split Asian American men and women apart even further.
Most articles like these do nothing other than to promote more negative stereotypes, mostly at Asian men’s expenses. Asian men hear enough of these stereotypes from the white media, it is pretty pathetic same stereotypical crap is being spread by the very women that are supposedly out there supporting Asian men. That is what is fucked up about this site.
BTW, I am an Asian male and I am dating a Latino woman. I have dated number of other non-Asian females as well. I never have heard one compliant about my dick size. Perhaps some of you need to go talk to women that actually have fucked an Asian man before you make all kinds of stereotypical assumptions. Some of these self hating Asian women who stereotype their own people are the worst of the worst. Why would any white man want to date such insecure losers? I would post a picture of my dick here but I am sure the admin here would delete it cause it will go against what they are trying to stereotype.
The funny thing about this site is in addition stereotype Asian men in negative light, it is trying to stereotype white men in positive light. Are people here that stupid? There are some serious white male losers out there but why don’t people talk about them that way? Oh way, I am sure this site is being supported by bunch of white men with Asian fetish and Asian women with white fetish. You wonder why people have such negative attitude towards this pairing. Well, the reason is this pairing brings out some of the worst behaviors from people and they simply out there reinforce ugly stereotypes.
I think the reason for this site to write some many inflammatory articles about Asian men is to just drive up Web traffic. Site should really change it’s title to Blog for Sell Out Asian Bitches with White Fetish than Asian American women blog. At least it will get to the point and people will realize the site for what it is.
Dude you are soooo annoying..You repeat the same thing over and over…Ok we get it..You think the girls are sell out asian bitches..don’t you have a life? Obviously not, neither a girlfriend or you wouldn’t be sitting on this site all day. You are sooooo annoying.. get the hell out of here.. the magazine is NOT for you!
Wow the loser is mad. Whoa like I give a crap. Aren’t we supposed to be like trained dogs? Please, the bitch who wrote this article need to experience some real life. Rest of you sellout bitches need to wake the hell up and smell reality for once. The white controlled media is fucking with your head and you have brought it all up little good little china dolls.
Born and raised in Singapore, live and educated in America, moron.. And I have an Asian American boyfriend…thank god he has nothing of your disgusting thinking…Loser!
Then why don’t you go back to Asia where you would fit in perfectly.. Here women have rights and are free to think, feel and write AND date whoever they want..You are freaking loser who thinks Asian women should be quiet and be your arm piece, welll NOT…You’re in the wrong country a$$hole..Get a life and get off this magazine.. Stop using J8 implying Jennifer 8.. She has a brain..you don’t..it’s insulting
I’m from Singapore a$$hole and I know quite well what it’s like to be in Asia and I KNOW QUITE Well the difference of Men from Asian and American MEN.. YOU my dear have the mentality of the majority of men in Asia,,. Stop trying to keep us down and get out of here.. You are not wanted!! oh yeah and keep calling us Bitches..yeah you got a brain..LOSER!
Wow now the bitch is using the same white racist logic “if you don’t like it, why don’t you go back to Asia?”. Listen you ignorant piece of crap. what do you know about Asia? You think all the women in Asia are oppressed like the white media has been preaching? You think white men are the saviors of POOR OPPRESSED ASIAN WOMEN? You don’t know shit about Asia. Did you even know there are more Chinese women who work as % of the population than the USA? Don’t let simple FACTS like that in getting in your way.
This is my damn country bitch. If I don’t like bitches like you stereotyping entire race of ASIAN MEN, I have the right to speak up. Screw this lame publications and stupid brainless bitches like you who brought into the entire brainwashing. It is not even like I would date those sellout bitches, but the garbage they are spreading is insulting to say the least.
And yet you support article like this? Wow… I know it is a free country, but don’t you think this site has an agenda? I guess anything to make white boys look good is a good article. Yes, you are not some ass kissing wannabe white-washed sellout bitch, but you sure act like one.
I have just one acronym for this article and it’s comments.
LOL
Good to see Asian America has gone exactly where I thought it would; nowhere.
I actually have to disagree with Sun Fan’s assessment on why Asian men shouldn’t care who Asian women date. Whatever happens to Asian women, it affects Asian men. Likewise, whatever happens to Asian men, it affects Asian women. We’re connected at the hip as much as some Asian women don’t like it.
Here’s the reason why:
The main reason why this is important is because this constant pairing makes it seem, even if it’s imagined, that Asian men aren’t good enough for Asian women. Logic states that if Asian men were awesome, Asian women wouldn’t have to “leave,” no? Makes sense.
However, when a study shows that an American born Asian women is more likely to prefer white men than Asian men, it amounts into a huge psychological blow and is very demoralizing. Natural HUMAN emotion will promote anger and animosity. To make matters worse, Asian American women are completely dismissive of the concerns of Asian men even if the tone isn’t antigonistic. This leads to Asian men lashing out. I’m sure everyone has had their concerns dismissed outright. Doesn’t feel too good, does it?
Also, I honestly don’t want to hear complaints of Asian men being bitter. While some overcome and succeed, many do not. Bitterness isn’t limited just to Asian men; blacks are bitter about how they’re being treated, women are bitter about sexism, homosexuals are bitter that same sex marriage is outlawed in most states, etc. Hell, Asian women are bitter that Asian men are treated better by their parents.
So, let’s not bring up bitterness issue. Everyone is bitter when they’re “losing.” Everyone is arrogant when they’re “winning.”
In this case, all the non-Asian women I’ve talked to about this subject understand perfectly why Asian men are heartbroken and bitter and why Asian women are arrogant.
The world isn’t difficult to figure out as long as you put your biases aside and employ a little common sense.
As an Asian man, I’m not bitter. I’ve accepted my race and how it affects me in daily life and learned to roll with life’s punches. However, I do have a word of caution:
“Everyone will eventually get their comeuppance. Including Asian women.”
Sun Fan 2 – I realize you are probably very new to this whole debate. Seriously, if Asian women are not racist and all their dating in the west are based on TRUE love, how come there is no love for black men or Latino men? Why is only white men? Think about that for a sec. I know it is not very hard. I am sure you already know the answer. Do you think it is coincidence that 99% of the AFs in IRs are with white men? Now tell us who is the one who is racist and stereotypical. Please.. get a clue before you try to put your foot in the mouth next time.
Because an Asian woman thinks someone else besides an Asian Man is attractive, they get cast as whorientals, sell-outs, they’ll get their comeuppance, Asian Women are bitter..I mean are you serious? You guys think wayyyyy too into this.. Yes we date Asian men in Asia, because that is the majority…Here we have a completely different dating pool and some of them….oh no…might be white! Oh god forbid,..do you know how racist you sound…so ignorant.
Your comments are getting more ignorant by the sec. You don’t know much. Like the author of this article, your experience is limited and you don’t know crap about how the real world works.
Sometimes the world is not as obvious as you like to think it is. For example, I don’t fit the stereotypical description of an Asian American man described in her racist article. Yet I have been hearing similar description of Asians all my life. It is one thing hearing stereotypical crap from an ignorant white person, it is quite another hearing the same crap from some small minded Asian person who is out there promoting white supremacy. What I can’t believe is some people out there actually think some of these WM/AF relationships are based on REAL LOVE. What a joke.
Its hilarious that the white racist Adam Corolla or whatever the stupid-tards face name is called the “Duncing” with the Stars female asian judge the “B!tch” word. He is married to an Asian female too…just like those racists DJ (Jerk-V and P-Elvis). These “white knight” loves to make fun and make racist comments to Asians and belittle the Asian females, yet there are some (not all) Asian female out there that will white-worship the ground they walk yet denounce all Asian males as controlling, nerdy, and whatever the racists stereotype those white boys like to make up about Asian males.
Like I posted earlier, nothing wrong with Asians (female or male) wanting to date outside of their ethinicity, but its pretty sad when there are both female and male Asians out their that are so ignorant of the racists whites/jews media depiction of Asian society as a whole. When the some of the Asian society stop being blind and ignorant to this racism from whites/jews, the sooner Asians as a whole in America be more of a powerful voice in America.
Is that all?
Well, the problem is that Asians stereotype themselves (in this case, Asian women stereotyping Asian men) but then have the gall to get angry when white people stereotype Asians.
A good buddy said something that made me chuckle:
You know you’re an Asian American when you can make fun of Asians but get pissed when white people make fun of Asians.
Good to know you didn’t read a single word I wrote. It’s pretty sad but listening really *is* a lost art.
I didn’t mention once as to who Asian women should or shouldn’t date. What I explained was the connection and an explanation as to why Asian men are upset. Not once did you even acknowledge that.
Also, to add onto that point, while there are some Asian women who date black men, according to the latest statistics, it’s about 2% while the other 98% is white. Keep in mind that NYC is mostly minority populated. I always hear the rational that Asian women date who’s around them but I know many great black friends that are always shot down by Asian women.
Sun Fan, the problem is that you’re not actually listen, you’re formulating a response to a question no one asked or a statement no one said. Drop your hardline approach and learn to listen. I’m always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt but I’m starting to agree that you’re not interested in meaningful discussion but rather intra-Asian conflict.
one of my asian girlfriends only dates black guys..she is obsessed with hip hop..so sorry wrong again..don’t put your foot in your mouth
“Trained puppy dog”?!?!?!?!?! And that line highlighted?!?!?!?! I am thinking maybe this controversial article was posted to generate traffic to the website. But why this negative image? Why do Asian women want to paint asian men so negatively and thus degrade themselves and the entire race?
…that the author is free to prefer dating men of certain races – sexual preference for a certain race does not equal racial prejudice – but that posting and publicizing such a stereotype of Asian men in her article only contributes to the fading but still visible color-line.
As an Asian American girl, I want to put in my vote for “I hate this article.” As everyone else has already said, this article is degrading to Asian men and thus, the Asian race (Hello, asian men make-up half of the Asian race).
The article degrades Asian men by de-sexualizing them, deprecating good moral values usually associated with asian men by correlating “nice,” “polite,” “hard-working” with lack of passion.
As she attempts to de-sexualize asian men, she hyper-sexualizes the asian woman – the whore, the prostitute, the fetish – by adding that it was with men of other races that she “popped her cherry” or otherwise, fulfilled her sexual fantasies.
I would like to add though, Asian guys – please stop with the hair gel. It is a very big turn off. I don’t like spiked hair in guys, period, regardless of race. It makes you look punk and I’m more into a natural, polished look.
Lucas – why are you posing as a White male? Ashamed of your Asian – ness? Your writing of “IR” and “AF/WM” writing and desperate attempts to pick apart the site are clear indicators..Talk about doing a disservice to the community..I decided to google “Asian” and this magazine does not come up. I do not understand why you put down this site and author so much, if as you say, are a white male..Something tells me you are trying to get your own asian site off the ground and it is not working. Maybe this is all out of a fit of jealousy? Think about it people!
isn’t thinking that all asian women who are dating white men using a stereotype that these asian women are self-hating with identity issues? how can you even begin to prove that is the case with every single asian female in the world?
That’s not the issue. Let’s put it this way, if there was some sort of Marshall Law invoked on American society that prohibited White male/Asian female coupling, then perhaps you would have an issue. If there was something like some sort of ‘obvious discriminations’ like ‘housing’ for WM/AF couples, then perhaps you would have an issue. The fact is, you have none of this. Ironically, given that IR is still looked down upon in some parts of the country, that particular IR is obviously the most accepted. The problem seems to be the ‘few’ Asian women that refuse to acknowledge racism ‘against their’ own race. Unfortunately, even though it’s the few, efforts are made to give the appearance of them being the majority by utilizing ‘high profile’ means. This has been the case in mainstream media, and has paved it’s way into the internet. Even a site like this is somewhat ‘high profile’ in that it can easily be found via googling key words including the word ‘Asian’. This accesses the site to people with entirely different motivations.
Not all Asian males acknowledge racism towards Asians/Asian Americans. This has always been the case whenever a particular ethnic or racial group did in fact face racial discrimination. I originally specified ‘some’ Asian females because of the sub-culture of White men that seek Asian women for wives. This has lead to an ‘exemption’ to ‘some’ of the stereotype as well as vocational discriminations placed on Asian males.
…or something like that…The pictures used on this site draw strong similarity to pictures used by the fast food industry that use large imagery of cheeseburgers with dripping sauce. They almost speak louder than the blogs themselves. In this blog, the emphasis seems to be on the Asian male. However, notice the distance between the apparent couple. Of course she’s almost blurred out of the picture. Many of the other pictures utilized at this site show very close intimate, and very clear imagery between a White male and Asian female. One of the blogs where they are ‘not’ in some sort of intimate embrace is the blog pertaining to idolizing the White male (the name of the blog escapes me at the moment). Like the picture utilized in this blog, the Asian female is in the background, albeit somewhat closer. However, she is ‘not’ blurred out of the picture as is the case in this one. So, whereas you would have the theoretical scenario of the Asian-American happening upon a site they can relate to; you also have the White male who may be seeking a site somehow promoting Asian females as dating partners. And of course, the first thing they see are the ‘loud’ photos at the top of each blog.
Asiaphiliac – The story summarizes what’s going on in this society. The same story is repeated over and over in USA. This country’s media continue to create stereotypes of Asian women as hyper sexualized while trying to emasculate Asian men . Of course, we got insecure, wannabe Asian women (thanks Elysa) who have no problem contributing to the stereotyping with articles like these. Perhaps people like this author here is trying to win white men’s approval. She somehow thinks degrading Asian men is the way to do it. It is obviously from reading her articles she hates her father and thinks her dad is a total loser. Her mother obviously is the same way. Somehow all these must mean every Asian men on earth is like her dad. I can probably link to many stories of white men’s attack against Asian women due to stereotypes created over the years. Don’t some of you find it strange they only focus on Asians?
Thanks Elysa for taking apart years of hard work by real Asian Americans who actually get it and have fought hard against racism and stereotypes. One of these days you and your loser BF gonna run into one of those “trained dogs” on the street and they gonna show how trained they are. Until then, you probably won’t mind living in your little bubble thinking the world is exactly how you define it. Perhaps your white masters really appreciate your hatred towards your own ethnicity, but Asian Americans who get it will always see you for what you really are – an insecure loser who is dying to be accepted in a society that will never accept you no matter how hard you try.
You know of all the filth in the article, the one that stick out is “Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient. Everybody loves them.” Wow, I never thought to think myself in that light. Such
generalization….Such patronization….:). I might have to ask my girlfriend for a bone when I see her. Speaking of generalization, I didn’t realize Filipinos even watch karate DVDs. But, I digress…for your info, there is a reason why smart people (Asians particularly) take their shoes off at the door; which idiot wants to track dirt and grime through their house? You should tell your friends, they might be pleasantly surprised when there is less cleaning to be done. So tell it to your boyfriend and not just say “you are suppose to” like it’s some kind of a freak Asian thing. Knowledge is power, so get out there and make your people proud. *I say that with tongue firmly in cheek*.
back. f*cking relax. Don’t you have a life? This dating article is one component and one girls opinion..why do you need to continue to just trash Asian Women? Racist pig!
In similar race related on-line situations, I’ve felt it’s best just to be up front about being a White male. Since this is a blog format, I may have just as well not said anything about it. When you think about it, if anything it would be far easier to be dishonest and state that I was Asian. Because it’s easy to get the impression that those affiliated with the site also post here at times, my question would be why is the “Post new comment” feature here if ‘picking apart’ the site is such a great concern? And ‘googling’ the word ‘Asian’, and whether or not this site shows up right away is a very minor point in my original statement. Almost ‘any’ Asian oriented site becomes somewhat high profile when any combination of key words including ‘Asian’ are used. We all know what kind of google ads pop up when the word ‘Asian’ is typed in. I’m half Italian; maybe when typing the word ‘Italian’ into google, “men seeking Italian women” ads pop up. I really don’t know. I’m not feeling competitive discouragement with this site in attempting to create my own website of ‘any’ kind. Although that is a rather interesting poke in the dark. I have no interest in degrading anyone or any website. Rather than worrying about what race I am, whether you are Sun “Now I know Lucas is an Asian man” Fan or someone else, I would consider the fairly overwhelming number of comments by posters who have shed light on a very real racial issue that many in society wish to overlook.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23584684/
I understand it’s not fair the way this magazine portrays Asian males and Asian males have a right to be pissed off. But please don’t take your frustration out on the ladies. I don’t see how calling them whores and golddiggers is getting us towards anything positive, it’s just making our relationships worse and reaffirming our hate of IR relationships. I know what it’s like being asian and the last thing I want is hate and bitternes controling me. We should try to be more strong and let our actions speak for them selves without hurting others. I would like to see more males turn this negativity into something positive. If it all the accusations towards Asian woman are true well let karma deal with that. Please know more hate!
My God…my God…This is RACISM, pure and simple…RACISM. If any other race wrote this article, EVERYONE would know this for a fact.
But because it’s written by an Asian American woma, that makes it better?
You call it “Personal Preference”. I guess that’s what a white employer would call it too, or the admissions office to a major university if they only hired or admitted white people? RACISM? YES. PERSONAL PREFERENCE? OF COURSE.
You make observations about Asian American men based on your own limited perspectigive, (and this is a BLANKET observation by the way), and you try to endorse it on this website. Who the f*ck are you to say who we are? Who are you to discriminate and sterotype us?
Hey…what if I just said that all black men are bad at math and therefore, I don’t want to hire them in my company? What if I said that all black men are criminals, so I don’t want them to live in my neighborhood. Are you getting this yet? Do I need to simplify it more for you?
Think about it…racist.
-Tony Koo
tell it like it is, m’man. they just don’t get it.
While everyone is entitled to their opinion it saddens me to read this. To bash and call us trained puppies really irks me and proves that women dont kno what they want. What I got from your article is basically that ” I dont like asian men because they are boring and respect me” now if your White boyfriend where to respect and follow the rules would you dump him too? what happens to your white boyfriend when he know to take the shoes out before entering the house or he calls your mom and dad tito or tita? does he get dumped too? why or why not? u seem to justify you not dating asians because they know what to do already but if a white guy knows what to do will you treat him like you did your last asian boyfriends? I think not. So dont go around saying that you dont like asians because they are trained puppies when the real reason is you just want a white boyfriend.
Don’t get me wrong. I feel the same way about Filipino women when I was station in San Diego. I’m filipino born in the PI and raised in New York. I usually date black and spanish females due to lack of filipino in my surrounding. I started to interact with filipino girls when I moved to California. I noticed that a lot of old white dudes from the ship tend to date filipino women or have filipino wives. I don’t know what qualities they possesed that filipino guys don’t have. The other explanation is they have money and marrying a white guy is moving up in social ladder. It a status feeling they have because they look down on their race. A lot of white guys they date are ugly and they happen to be white. Mostly applies to filipino american females. That is sad but true. I’m not hating cause I have options dating other female race. I feel bad for filipino guys who wants to hook with their kind.
Don’t get me wrong. I feel the same way about Filipino women when I was station in San Diego. I’m filipino born in the PI and raised in New York. I usually date black and spanish females due to lack of filipino in my surrounding. I started to interact with filipino girls when I moved to California. I noticed that a lot of old white dudes from the ship tend to date filipino women or have filipino wives. I don’t know what qualities they possesed that filipino guys don’t have. The other explanation is they have money and marrying a white guy is moving up in social ladder. It a status feeling they have because they look down on their race. A lot of white guys they date are ugly and they happen to be white. Mostly applies to filipino american females. That is sad but true. I’m not hating cause I have options dating other female race. I feel bad for filipino guys who wants to hook with their kind.
You don’t have to write a whole article to try to say how it’s actually Asian American Men’s fault for not being “exciting” enough for you. Yes, you’re right, we must be terrile for being respectful, kind, and considerate. Oooo…terrible us. But I’m not exactly sure how we could win here. Would you prefer us to be selfish, disprespectful pricks? Would that make us more attractive? No…I somehow doubt it. The sheer fact is that if an Asian American man were to have the exact same personality traits as a “typical white man”, you’d still find some excuse to say that he’s just “not your type”.
Elysia, please, just be honest and say it. “I don’t like filipino men. I like white men over filipino men. I prefer white skin over yellow skin. White men are just better than filipino men” I just find it so funny that you’ve taken good traits on Asian men(respectful, considerate, kind) and manage to turn them into negative traits(predictable, boring, “easy”). But for white men, you’ve managed to take negative traits (disprespectful, forgetful, and ignorant) and turn them into positive traits (diverse…I can’t think of another positive trait). Really, Elysia, you can just save us a lot of time and effort and just say what you really are. A RACIST.
Tony Koo,
Love your post. Why would an asian guy want to date a self hate asian girl like Elysia? Asian guys can do so much better.
This goes to show that interracial dating is all politics.
It’s amazing that “The Magazine for Asian American Women” would publish this. But just as AsianWeek published Kenneth Eng, so is Asiance free to publish whatever it deems appropriate for the modern day Asian American woman.
Anyway, there’s an interesting conversation with both guys and gals over here:
http://www.thefighting44s.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5993
How they are bunch of fat, bald and ugly bunch. How they smell bad and how they look 60 when they are 30. How they have IQs of 2. How they got small dicks etc etc. I like to see what the reaction would be from the white guys out there. Frankly, I already know. Articles like that would never get published and the woman who wrote it probably would get death threats from white men. How can a magazine like this let an article like this be published and claim this is the way to promote Asian American females?
“Now if I were dating an Asian guy, he would have automatically taken off his shoes without any question or hesitation………..Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient.”
I guess that using the same logic, we can all presume that you are a likely candidate for AIDS or STD’s since the guys you like to date are more likely to complain and refuse to follow the custom of taking precautions for safe sex.
I imagine the “not knowing” gives you a buzz.
Good luck.
No one is ever going to just going it to you.
After this battle is fought and won, it’ll be the next one, then the next one, and the next one…
Dude, don’t get angry – just laugh at her!!!!!
Here’s a template of the letter I wrote to the Editor of Asciance, and here’s her email address. Please feel free to bombard her with your emails and feel free to change the email to reflect what you feel. But as always, try to be respectful. No racist or sexist labeling, no name calling, and no threats. Thanks everyone:
staff@asiancemagazine.com
Editor of Asiance,
This letter is in regards to your article “A Few Good Asian Men†written by Elysia Bandong on March 5th 2008. We find the article to be highly offensive to Asian Americans. The fact that Elysia can make such blanket racist statements about Asian American men such as:
[b]“Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient… highly predictable and more or less boringâ€
“every Asian guy I dated was (a)like and how they looked because they were all the same.â€
“All the guys would wear a collared shirt and blazer with neat jeans. Around their neck was a gold chain with a crucifixâ€[/b]
If the above statements was made by a non-Asian, there would be a whirlwind of backlash as anyone would see them for what they are: racist and sexist. The fact that they’re being made by another Asian American does nothing to excuse them for anything less than what they are-bigoted, prejudiced, and discriminatory.
These types of messages should never be condoned or tolerated, especially not by a fellow Asian American who should already understand the sting of being stereotyped and labeled not just by her race, but also her sex.
Not only does this article tell other Asian Americans that it’s all right to promote and maintain negative images of Asian Americans, but it also provides a good excuse for non-Asians to also do the same. Now they can now say, “Hey, since even an Asian woman’s making fun of and stereotyping Asian men, it’s OK for me too.â€
We sincerely request that you remove this offensive article from your website. In addition, we request that you inform the rest of your staff to the damaging nature of this type of article and to not write such articles in the future. We have a hard enough time as it as in trying to promote positive and empowering images of Asian Americans among non-Asian Americans. We shouldn’t have to do the same within our group as well.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
-(Your Name Here)
I’m Asian and I’m dating an Asian guy..I happen to like the fact that she decided to put herself on line..She’s speaking for herself and only herself..If you’re married then good for you..go live your life.. My boyfriend would never act like you..Your drawing more attention to it..I do not want you..Fine don’t show us your picture..your probably ugly anyway.
Wow do you really think you can get away with posting such statements? It’s amazingly racist and offensive! Shame on you! Just because you are asian doesn’t give you the right to slander asians like that. Did your parents not give you enough lovin or something? SHAME ON YOU!
Why would it matter if I was ugly or not? Why are you trying to determine if I’m handsome or not?
From Tony to sun Fan (March 23, 2008 – 9:06am)
Sun Fan, You Are Out of Line
I’ve read your disparagingly negative comments about Asian men, and quite frankly, I’m disgusted. I just want to let you know that they will no longer be uncontested. Will not just sit around while you or anyone else typecasts and pigeon holes Asian American men into stereotypes, especially by other Asians who just happen to be of the oppoite sex. I find this OFFENSIVE. I find this SHAMEFUL. I find this DISGRACEFUL. Sun Fan, I know that you’re very vocal in defending your racist viewpoints. But I too am extremely vocal in fighting racial stereotyping, descrimination, and prejudice. I’m not afraid to fight the good fight. So Sun Fan…bring it on girl. I look forward to your response. -Tony Koo
From Sun Fan to Tony (sun_fan March 24, 2008 – 12:01pm)
Bring it on?
what a man you are! You really attract me. Well go screw yourself. Why are you on a woman’s magazine? Get the hell out of here. Frankly, I like Elysia’s articles. She at least has some guts to put her name and picture on an article that she believes in. Actually, it is something I and my sisters understand so I appreciate the article. Get over yourself and move on!
From Tony to Sun Fan (tonywkoo March 24, 2008 – 7:48am)
I’m Not Impressed
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m already married. Hell no am I going to let you off that easily. I’m at this website because EVERY time I see ANYONE making negative umbrella comments about people based solely on the color of there skin, I’ll be there to fight. And that goes for others stereotyping Asian American women as well: http://www.reappropriate.com/?m=200803 Scroll down to March 13th. Face it little girl there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that you can win here. It’s just black and whites as to who’s on the right side and who’s on the wrong side. But please, keep on fighting. I’m really enjoying ripping you apart.
From Sun Fan to Tony (sun_fan March 24, 2008 – 12:01pm)
Saw your face or lack thereof
Hey Mr. Bigshot…Where’s your picture? I guess you would rather anonymously taunt a woman in cyberspace huh? Geek!
taunt a woman in cyberspace huh? Geek!
Tony to Sun Fan (tonywkoo March 24, 2008 – 12:22pm)
Don’t try to come on to me
Like I said, I’m very happily married. Oh, that’s another stereotype about Asian men that has some truth to it: we tend to me more faithful. In this case, it’s true. My pic? Why would you need to see my pic? Are you getting that aroused already? Well, it looks like I’ve already beaten you. You have no comeback to my arguments except for wanting so see how I look like. Sorry little girl, you can’t have me.
I would just like to say your article is inappropriate , extremely offensive and racist. You are entitled to your own “fetishes” or “preference” , however there is no need to slander and make racist statements about asian males. It is degrading to asian americans and asians as a whole and does not represent a healthy image for Asiance Magazine. I would strongly like to have this article removed and will contact your staff shortly.
“asian men are like trained puppy dogs sweet and innocent blah blah” what makes this stupid little girl think she has any right to say anything like this. i’m an (awesome) asian man and i’d love to see you tell me i’m a sweet trained puppy to my face. stick to your whiteboys and stop flattering yourself sweetcheeks
If the author is courageous for “telling it like it is,” I guess you can couple white racists as being courageous as well when they say racist things to your face since they’re making no effort to hide it.
I don’t see how someone could say that the author had courage , but I do see how the article presented is offensive and racist. You would of thought Asiance Magazine would have filtered this type of content. Does Asiance Magazine support racist slander? This is definitely appalling.
I feel sorry for the Asian man in that picture and wonder if he actually knew what his picture was for. From his facial expression, it looks like a “duh?” feeling.
What, is all of those Asian male supremacist modelminority.com losers on here? I laugh, because they think they “own” Asian women, who should belong to them just because they share an ethnicity. They sound like the white racist they hate so much about.
But, as an Asian male, the only thing I find worse than an Asian woman who puts down Asian men is the Asian men who whine about it like Asian girls.
grow up boys, its her vagina, she can like whoever she likes for whatever reasons.
And by the way, Connie Chung is NOT Chinese. She’s American, as am I. China is not a race, its a nation, made up of many races. Stupid idiots. Of course she’s not Chinese.
I can’t get over the psychos posting on this article. R u fer real Tony Koo? Are u really giving a commenter an ultimatum? Where do you get off? You have too much time on your hands.
Tan is it? Tan…is that Chinese? Like Amy Tan? OK, if you are an Asian male, please translate this into Chinese:
“After I graduated from College, I wanted to go to Med School, but my parents were against it because it would cost too much money.” Or if you’re not Chinese, then translate it to whatever language you can. I’m sure that there are plenty of Asians who would be able to verify the accuracy of your answer.
Come come now. We EAGERLY await your answer, Mr…TAN. Oh, and if you don’t translate the sentence, then we’ll all know that you’re not asian…but probably white.
You have 24 hours from now. Have a nice day 🙂
I will do whatever I can to fight for what’s right.
I can no longer guarantee the outcome of what’s going to happen next.
“After this battle is fought and won, it’ll be the next one, then the next one, and the next one…”
Tony..
I’m not trying to douse the flames of your anger but it seems wasted on the mindless (and I mean really mindless) rantings of what is basically a stupid girl. There’s no fight here, only embarrassment that some Asian can be so stupid. Let’s hope that Elysia is good at math, because she fails terribly as a writer.
I am just sick of asian women putting down asian men. Like having a nice guy isn’t exciting enough. Maybe we should start slapping our women around and cheat on them with other asian women…like all the white and black guys who have the fever. I am actually half white and asian and consider myself asian because i was raised by my mother.
coming to you in the end….racist.
The banter here is pretty funny. Okay, I’m an Asian male that prefers to date WF’s. Now do Asian females, knowing this fact about me, support me? Not exactly.
I have a AF acquaintance (she’s my best friend’s girlfriend) who’s acting like my mother, trying to force me to date an AF. We usually all go to eat at this Asian restaurant. My best friend knows the people who runs the place, and this fresh-off-the-boat waitress apparently likes me. And this AF acquaintance keeps bagdering me again, again, again, again, and again for me to go out with her (because she’s asian, I guess). I never even said that I liked the waitress.
Asian lady I chat with at work. I think we were starting to be pals. And then one day we pass by one another and then all of a sudden, she turns away and refuses to look at me. Then I realize, my big mouth friends at work told her about my dating habits, and now she’s mad.
So if the shoe is on the other foot, from my experience, AF’s are not cool with Asian male having a preference to date outside his race.
Why not do this? Be mature and encourage Asian males to date interracially. Support them if they wish to do this. That way, if there’s no disparity, there will be no more animosity. AM/WF couples are no longer consider a rarity any more. Every time I go to the local mall, I’m guarantee to run into two other AM/WF couple, so I’m not alone on this.
I would say this same thing to Black men who may prefer WF’s. Encourage Black women to date White men. Don’t rag or put down Black women which makes things even worst. Allow them to date White men.
elaborate? All I know is that I’ve been following all the rule here, but you haven’t.
and the officer you spoke to at the FBI. I look forward to clarifying the situation with him/her. I have NOTHING to hide.
Fact, not opinion
Dating preference is racism (except of course it’s not as radical as the Ku Klux Klan or any other violent groups)
Don’t believe me? Well, according to the definition passed by the United Nations…
Racism is:
Any distinction, exclusion, restriction or PREFERENCE based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life.
Does that mean my boyfriend is a sellout? I am white and my boyfriend is Asian, all his girlfriends have been white. I used to be scared that he would dump me once an asian girl came along, but he said he don’t like asian girls, that it would too weird, like dating his sister or something. His preference is a tall girl with a small waist, but large boobs and a curvy figure. Green or blue eyes is a must. When I asked him why he liked white girls more than asian or brown, he said he didn’t know he just does. It’s just weird because I would go out with white or asian or brown and have dated white and asian in the past.
I don’t understand the penis thing, why do they say asian men have small penises? my boyfriend is larger than any of my white exes.
Yes Tony, my last name is Tan, as in the ancient chinese state of Tan. Tan, as in the the 67th most common Chinese surname. You got a problem with that?
Are you so moronic that you think just because my ancestors came from China that I magically speak and write Chinese, like writing Mandarin is some ethnic skill I can pull off cause of my ancestry? Would you go up to some african guy and ask him to speak and translate some african? Or to some Italian American and ask him to speak and translate italiano?
Tony Koo, the only battle you’re fighting is with reality, and I hate to break it to you Koo, you’re losing that battle.
This author’s mentality represents everything I disdain about AFs nowadays. No, it’s not the socially induced racial preference that bothers me. If someone doesn’t like me for who I am, I just leave. I have too much respect for myself to stay in a situation where I’m not wanted.
What annoys me the most is the fact that she’s willing to lay herself out for WM but then, she states at the end that she might consider dating an Asian man. Pass.
Here’s why this bothers me and why I don’t date AF. In my mind, she’s willing to be “used up” by WM but when it comes time to settle down and please mommy and daddy, she’ll choose an Asian man who Asian women have put on the back burner since the beginning because we’ll always be around like a “trained puppy.”
This was the same exact issue with the WF that was in the movie Malcolm X. I actually felt sorry for the WM she settled down with.
In short, I think the best solution for AM is to both date and marry out more and to not bring up this issue up with AF because now they’re aware of the leverage they hold over AM.
It’s not about AF being “owned” by AM as some would claim but rather that, racially, it’s not surprising that members of a particular demographic would always gear themselves toward their own for safety, acceptance, beauty standards, etc. When AF have the opposite effect of non-Asian women, it’s very telling. It’s more of a subtle expression that they find their own features less attractive through social conditioning. It just proves that AF are more susceptible to it than non-Asian women. This translates into much bigger things.
But it was mentioned that there are more and more AM with non-Asian women. Just today, I was chatting with a beautiful Latin woman was married to a 3rd generation ABC and she kept saying it’s surprising an AF didn’t pick him up. She’s been married for 6 years and feels like every day is a honeymoon.
I already told you no. And no, I’m not going to send you my picture.
Dude, you’re a psycho with too much time on your hands…Get a life! hahahahahahahahah!!!!
first the stupid article, then dudes arguing about people’s dating preferences. this whole scene’s a mess. cya i’m going to go be a man and enjoy some porn
EOM
The OP can date whomever she wants to. There is no need for justification, and there is definitely no need to put asian men and race down through her justification. Such article should not be promoted and cheerished. It only works to perpetuate stereotypes about asian men. By promoting these stereotypes, we are stepping further away from acknowledging cultural diversity.
I think this article is totally lame. I have serious questions about this publication in general.
These broad stereotypes are crap. They are unfair, petty and based far from reality.
I know Asian guys who are excellent partners and great men.
Quit the hatchet job and grow up. Build a resource that is a socially and culturally mature place for people to be.
To answer your question; your boyfriend is probably ‘not’ a sell-out. If he goes out of his way to put down and degrade Asian females, then that’s a different story. As far as the penis question, more than likely the stereotype/rumor began during WWII. I don’t think there’s any such record of any sort, but all it would take would be for some prostitute overseas to tell some 6’5″ virgin American soldier that he was ‘big’, and things would have snow-balled from there. That was at a time when the hatred for Asians in general could have been at it’s highest, and soldiers coming home would have been more than happy to spread such a rumor.
Affiliate with this racist website
Chris Chang and Tony Koo are STILL bitching about this article on other websites. They give Asian Men the stereotypes they complaint about all the time. They banned me from reappropriate when I spoke out against them and the posts of private information that they kept posting and reposting over and over. Tony and Chris we all know neither of you would confront these women face to face. You sit on your computer day and night without a life pleasuring yourselves..YOu are the exact stereotype us Asian Men get..Shameful!
Hello,
I just wanted to give you a note of encouragement that I think your magazine is definitely doing a great service to the Asian Community. I know there are a select group of 2 or 3 guys and one ugly girls who are criticizing this article but I believe that is their own problem. Little do they know what they are doing is completely the opposite of their views: silencing Asian Americans. Keep up the great work and it looks like their attempts have fallen in the water making them look like complete idiots. I said my peace!
Many of the guys here don’t seem to get what this is all about. Being Filipino myself, i can spot the product of a colonial mentality. when she says she doesn’t want to end up as boring asian couple, she means that in the current filipino culture they would not be as impressed with her(W/pinoy bf) as they would if she had a white bf/husband. As painful as it is to admit, current Filipino society put allot of stock on being with white partner. I remember when i went home with my polish g/f, everyone there was treating us like some kind of a celebrity. I feel sad about it now, knowing that i probable put the idea in some kids mind that if he/she got a white gf/bf that they would also be seen in such high esteem to and then the cycle continues.
This article is a piece of trash. Seems like only people who like this article are white guys with asian fetish and asian girls with white fetish.
The only people who don’t like this article are hard up Asian guys that can’t get a piece and desperate Asian girls looking for Asian boyfriends.
Actually I take that back. I don’t see any girls complaining, just men.
^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Asian Fetish Alert: Randy the White Guy.
Asian Fetish Alert: Randy the White Guy.
Asian Fetish Alert: Randy the White Guy.
think long and hard, now, Elysia Bandong.
what is it that you really want out of life? what are you guaranteed to have vs. the things that you want?
you’re not going to marry george clooney, matt damon, or brad pitt. as a matter of fact, there’s a high probability that your relationship will fail the more you like that person.
the inevitable fact of life is, some things you will never be able to have unless you have platinum visa and a good credit score. i hope you learn to grow a few balls and understand the difficulties everyone else faces other than sexual desires.
Let me say what i have to say….i love white guys!!!
NOT!!!!!!!!!!
Asian guys rule!
Yo mama said: “Seems like only people who like this article are white guys with asian fetish and asian girls with white fetish.”
Seems like the only people whose interracial attractions are maligned as “fetishes” are White men and Asian women. The occasional disclaimers aside, you guys disparage EVERY WM/AF couple as being based on fetishizing.
Spiritual Monk, who are you to say that you know what the meaning of family and respect is. First, of all it’s called free speech. There’s no such thing as irresponsible writing, maybe foolish writing, but certainly not irresponsible. I don’t believe she would be receiving so much heat if people didn’t find truth in her words, a truth they are apparently not happy with or willing to accept. So don’t place judgement on others.
No, bless YOU.
Hello Fey, Not placing judgment on others, that’s not my place to do so. But my words are only in the form of simple advice. for the truth is that each are their own person and everyone can act and think and choose on their own their own truth. Free speech is a label in which you define it, then so I shall agree, as I am not here to cause any negative feelings in people. As always, to each their own. May the light Bless you.
Elysia Bandong, It would seem you have angered alot of people with this essay of yours. To clarify some things, the truth of the matter that the Asian culture’s spiritual beliefs encompasses Family and Respect, this concept of which you truly do not understand yet. Because of this, it is easier for you to relate to “others” who do not have such an understanding ie: your current non-asian boyfriend. So often, it is easier to place blame on people and things; and yet the fault lies within yourself. My dear you’re still a child, you have a long way to go before you truly understand
the meaning of Family and respect. Irregardless of Race and culture, it should not matter who you choose to be with as long as there is Love. My advise to you is to think carefully before you publish this type of essay because it makes you look very irresponsible as writer. And also I would published this essay as a “Personal Blog” and not as an “Article”.
I wonder if this message will be censored too. So much for free speach, eh?
Look, some of you guys want to portray me as some evil monster. You know that’s not the case. I’ve tried to make my point that making umbrella statements about ALL Asian men is wrong. I did that over and over again in a rational and civilized manner.
I’ve never called anyone names, nor have I attacked anyone on a personal level. And when people decided to publish Elysia and Jaymie’s contact info here and on another site, I tried to stop them. I actually tried to protect Elysia and Jaymie by trying to convince those people that what they were doing was very very wrong and very very illegal. I even apologized to her for these events. Things I never even do:
http://asiancemagazine.com/profile/jaymie
Earlier on, she told me to write an essay from an Asian male’s perspective. I wrote it and emailed it to her. I also posted it here.(sigh)
She deletes those posts and she ignores my email. She then accuses me of threatening her(which I never did) and then tells me that she’s contacted the FBI about me. She then deletes all the messages I wrote to refute these charges. Then erases my account here, and she blocks my IP address so I can no longer even access this site while people attack my character. So much for “free speech”.
But it’s OK. I forgive her, and I forgive you who’ve made negative comments about me. That is, after all, the Christian thing to do, I am, after all, a faithful Christian.
The bottom line is this:
RACIAL STEREOTYPING IS WRONG.
If you disagree with this statement, well then, you’ve got a much bigger problem than just some random guy on the internet.
Shalom my Asian brothers and Sisters.
-Tony Koo
Look, my purpose wasn’t to destroy, humiliate, or insult you. My purpose was to question and inform you of my perspective.
Look, I think that a lot of our goals are the same. We all want to be respected, appreciated, cherished, valued, understood, and noticed. It’s what everyone wants. Therefore, I propose a truce.
I propose that we peachfully coincide with each other. We all have injustices to fight. We all have racism and sexism to challenge. We all want to be heard and feel important. Let’s be friends instead of enemies. I know that many of you are well education. I’m sure that you can understand the benefit of such a friendship.
There, I’m offering the olive branch again. Please accept it. If you do, we can fight the good fight together. In addition, you will also be under my protection against any ignorant and bitter “Angry Asian Male”. You know the ones I’m talking about (they like to use the term SOW, Sellout, Bitch, Cracker, etc). Wouldn’t you rather that I fight with you than against you?
-Tony Koo
Pussy
I am reading this magazine and reading the comments you people are writing and NO WONDER the Asian Community has no media. This magazine promotes Asian Women and culture and you bash it like crazy when an Asian Woman writes an article you don’t agree with? Based on these comments the Asian American community does not deserve anything that speaks to us…This is pathetic! You guys and that loser girl who started her dumb blog and try, I say try because obviously she wasn’t successful in getting them to take down the article. No wonder there is no mainstream advances..THINK ABOUT PEOPLE!
Check out this article for Hollywood’s influence of preserving inequality of Asian males in the media: http://www-tech.mit.edu/V128/N15/21casting.html
yo mama
I know why White males in general refuse to acknowledge the racism affiliated with the media aimed towards Asian males; thus contributing what disparity exists. But why in the world would anyone else not acknowledge it? To sum up the reason why White males refuse to acknowledge the existing racism, can be summed up simplistically: when we realize we are not the smartest, strongest, most politically/financially powerful; the very last challenge laid out is ‘who can pick up the most chicks at the bar’. I’ve seen this many times. This may not be an exclusively White male phenomenon, but pervasive none the less. Unfortunately, I was not able to get Peter’s article which I wanted to read, but the type of racism practiced in this regard falls under the “all is fair in love and war” philosophy. It’s the same concept as an individual promoting himself, and putting down another to obtain a woman. However, in this case, substitute ‘personal self’ and the ‘other person’, with ‘personal race’ and ‘another race’. This is why there’s no valid argument ‘against’ media racism because it can’t be denied. So, instead of denying it, the method is to turn it back to one’s personal affairs. Thus, all the accusations that one who complains needs to get off of their computer and get a date. Or work on their own personal issues, etc. This method of course is designed to ‘veer away’ from the very racial/racism issue that can’t be denied. So the advantage of having the media working in one’s favor ‘racially’ is seen as any other type of advantage one may obtain or be born with….After all, all things are fair in love and war!
Again…not trying to promote hate here, as I believe each individual has the right to date whomever they want. If they want to bang or date animals or aliens…who cares, as it is their choice. But creating a magazine for Asian women culture and then bashing Asian men is kind of pathetic. Our cultures have enough issues already. Our Asian cultures already have separation amongst ourselves..Japanese, Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Pino, etc…but now we putting these types of articles, which should be posted on bathroom doors, on the world wide web so that Asians can bash each other…and let the white man enjoy this. Does JET, ESSENCE, LATINO, and even white magazines or websites post these types of articles? NO!!!! But this site promotes this. You have to wonder.
Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient. Everybody loves them. Who wouldn’t love a guy who already knows all the rules without having to remind them what they are? What if we made this comment about Asian women, “Asian women are similar to wild dogs. Every white guy loves them, because if you give them a piece of meat, they jump on their meat.”
This magazine does not promote hate..are you crazy? Are you that same guy on here that keeps repeating the same thing about that line over and over? about puppy dogs? you keep taking that one line out of context “asian men are like puppy dogs” which isn’t even a bad if you read the rest of the article. And it’s one article about dating..You might not agree with it but it doesn’t mean the entire magazine promotes hate..,You obviously have issues that run deeper than this article..AND too much time on your hands. Compare it to the one you stated about Asian women right below it. You obviously don’t read those magazines..They have dating advice and talk about men in all kinds of ways..Perhaps you don’t read them or maybe as I stated above, you are looking for a way to create hostility among the Asian Community. It’s really pitiful!
It is called trying to stay alive and not get blown up by rockets and mortars. Yep, something that you are not aware of because you are enjoying the freedoms that I and thousands of my fellow women and men in the armed forces are doing so that you can comment on this webpage. Yep, may have gone astray with my comments… and I am sorry for that. But, there are quite a few articles stating the otherwise. Perhaps maybe you should read more into these articles. Hey, when I get time off, I enjoy reading this and I posted those two comments. Second one, yep I felt bad afterwards, but I wanted to be funny I guess.. bad humor. Creating hostility amongst the Asian community, NO, it already exists. But, having an issue… No I don’t.. I just tell it as it is. Yep, this site does have nice articles about Asian/Asian American women and men, but posting this type of crap article needs to stop. And you should read minority magazines or websites, as I don’t think they post these types of articles. You may say that she is giving her opinion about dating, that is good for her, this also allows for us to comment, especially if it is this stupid. As you stated I should read it more into this and I may see the light, then again, I guess hundreds of other see it my way too. Cheers!
Personally I think this “preference” is in how you are raised and your own experiences. I’ve run into all types of women across the spectrum. The ones that are the most interesting are the ones (not to single out anyone race, because I’ve heard it from all of them, particularly white women) that admit being attracted to me yet plainly say “I don’t date asians”. Based on this, what is the reason? Keeping in mind these women are strangers.
I think there is a fine line between what you find attractive and races you are open to date. I think the author makes some good points but I do feel you are making generalizations about asian men. Whether good or bad generalizations they carry on. Why don’t we do this for white men? Because we see white men in all roles (presidents, athletes, nerds, musicians, actors, and serial murderers ie Jeffrey Dalmer). So you can’t make those generalizations towards white people. Most people don’t know anything about asians, if you don’t believe me go to non-metropolitan cities in southern states and try talking to people. Most of them were surprised I spoke english. Thus why there is a bigger campaign from the asian community to get asians more noticeable in sports, entertainment and media, and others. The same way Black people broke into sports prior to the civil rights movement and hispanics in the entertainment industry. This is why Yao Ming is Yao Ming known, he contradicts the short asian non athletic stereotype.
I think its natural to notice differences between people, but when you rank them thats where you kind of get into trouble. In the end, just treat people as people. Because when you walk by someone and you are inferring the type of person they are, you can only go on ideas based on superficial and experiences. I think you are being honest and trying to be fair to both sides, but your view is kind of ignorant. I don’t judge what one white person does and generalize it to all white people. If thats the case, then Nascar racing should be a lot more popular than it is. Im sorry your experiences with asian men haven’t been as rewarding as your experiences with white men or other races. But if you let that dictate your decisions on dating races, then you are racist. Because the notion of using race solely to determine characteristics of someone is racist. Its a two way street, just because your asian yourself doesn’t mean you are inherently not racist against asians (reference Dave Chappelle’s Clayton Bigsby blind black man in the KKK).
I don’t mean to sound negative or whining over my personal experiences. I can’t control what other people do, I can only control what I do. My advice, keep an open mind and treat people as individual people.
sincerely,
an open asian guy
I appreciate you serving in the war.. I hope it is true. I think the site promotes Asian women and men..I am seeing much more profiling of men or Asian men that women are interested in. You really need to lay off the nitpicking or we’re not going to go anywhere..photos of white men, comparing Asian men to puppy dogs – which isn’t as bad as it seems. et..c peace out.stay safe.
Wow! I was surprized to read your comments, even if my reply was not directed to you. Thank you! Yes, I am over in Iraq. Victory Base. Also, I am amazed, as I have read quite a few of your past comments to other posts. And was not sterotyped as being an Angry Asian Man with a small penis. And about nitpicking, we humans tend to do that. I think it is in our nature. I see this almost everyday over here, not about race, but about religion and social status.
eom. 🙂
Here is a tip from one of those white guys that dates asian women. The initial reason why asian girls are easy to date- especially the traditional ones- is because you treat them like this ^ . That’s reason number one. Secondly, foresight. Like the woman above, she’s looking 10 years down the road. What will her life be like? What will her kids be like? Will she be better off. I know white guys do this as well.
I think it’s quite funny when asian guys say that we date the low hanging fruit. Why would we have to? We are dating the superstars of China, and our offspring are the leads is most movies. And I personally would not touch half the women that asian guys do. You may think it’s great that she has a sloping forehead, but we do not. I guess it’s fine that way. We both think the other’s partner is ugly, so that works out well.
The only caveat for a white guy dating an asian woman is that they must both be emotionally strong for it to last. There is no room for quasi-clued in asian girls or white guys. Either you are prepared to take a beating for your kids or you aren’t. And that’s the next reason…
Kids. In 10 years, will your kids be smarter, more handsome, more adaptable than you? With a half asian/white girl or guy their options are wide open. They can walk between both worlds and be at the top echelon of both at birth. The woman/men that come out of these unions are starring in the feature films that you watch today. It’s no accident. The traits of each group compliment the other nicely. It’s a form of natural eugenics. They won’t get sick from the same stuff your parents or my parents did. If you know anything about disparate DNA sequences, you will understand why a mutt is stronger and healthier than a pure breed. The fact that they are more attractive is a complete plus.
So, this is what both sides are thinking. My advice for asian guys- marry a white girl. Please, stop slamming white guys and calling every asian girl that has a clue an Uncle Tom. Get off your ass and date a white girl and see if your empathy improves over time. If you want to stay in your own sandbox- super. Nobody will care, because you’re kids will look the same as the last 200K years. But if you want to advance, put some effort into it and go after what you want. This is what I and others do. And it’s more than worth it. These kids are the daywalkers of the world. They can hop between both with little effort, and come out on top. If you like being 5 feet 2 inches, thats fine. Stay there, and see what happens in the next decade.
To all the asian woman out there, you know what you want and who you want to be. Don’t let your own guys beat you down. If you let them, then you don’t deserve to date a white guy. It’s that simple.
Wow, yes Mein Führer! Glory to the future master race and bring on the soft genocide!
Wow: The traits of each group compliment the other nicely. It’s a form of natural eugenics. They won’t get sick from the same stuff your parents or my parents did. If you know anything about disparate DNA sequences, you will understand why a mutt is stronger and healthier than a pure breed. The fact that they are more attractive is a complete plus.
boqizi: Wow, yes Mein Führer! Glory to the future master race
Huh?
So you are basically saying to all Asian men and women that they need to start mating with white men and women so they can produce a superior race of kids. Wow! So you are saying that mixed kids from Black/Latino or Black/Asian or Latino/Asian are not worthy, unless they have white genes mixed with them. White dudes like you give all humanity a bad name..especially white folks. So if women (all races) want to be with white racists, go ahead…but if you want to be treated like a woman be with a man of any color who will treat you right. Seriously, lets think in a natural world of thinking. We humans are animals created by God. God created individual creatures, lions, tigers, bears, oh my! Do you see lions and tigers mate in the wild? NO! Unless they are captured and we humans like to play God and breed them and create mixed tiger/lion breeds – so this can be done. A lot of you say that we are not like animals..we are humans…and we are more civilized. Well, I can tell you this much.. most animals will not kill each other for a pair of Nike’s or 25 cents. So who is more civilized.
Don’t be such a bigoted butt-head. It’s not for you to suggest to ‘anyone’ who they should marry. Don’t worry about it. Plenty of Asian men will marry White women…if (key word ‘if’)…they want to. Other than that, the full-blooded Asian race will continue strong as always. Your insinuations are nothing more than a slightly compromised form of White supremacy. We have a generation of White males angry at White women, so they look to Asian women to massage their frail masculinity. Naturally, upon doing so, they attack Asian males (like you’re doing with your insidious remarks), to cover for their frustration. Asians don’t ‘need’ to mix. You’re worried by the fact that they excel academically. While White ball players are sweating it out in the minors, Asian stars are coming in and excelling. In a society that pampers our self-image, you see elderly Asian men in good condition and at peace. You’re not fooling anyone.
i don’t care if i am Asian (and a proud and educated one at that :p). just think about this perspective: to those Asians who insult fellow Asians making both parties as pathetic as some whites (ehem, white Caucasians) may think of them – Asian women vs. Asian men (same as Asian American women vs. Asian American men) bicker over this article (whose administrators etc. obviously just want excessive web traffic by not so pleasant means, well congratulations! BRAVO! what a job well done. yet YAHOO NOR GOOGLE won’t bite this)
if RACE could be determined by genes (it does obviously, seeing from the overt PHENOTYPES), THE ONLY DIFFERENCE OF A MAN AND A WOMAN IS IN THE TWENTY THIRD CHROMOSOME: MALES HAVING AN XY, WHILE FEMALES XX. So, there is just a **nano-scopic difference to this intra-race issue – WHOEVER THINKS OF DEGRADING THE OPPOSITE SEX OF HIS OR HER OWN RACE, IN FACT GENETICALLY, SCIENTIFICALLY, ANTHROPOLOGICALLY, DISGRACES HIS OR HERSELF.
really funny and pathetic and whoa: forget about comparison of dick sizes – it makes it worse (going crazy over that limp appendage that only gets big when filled with blood?) and i am literally LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. ROTF. hahahahaha – i hope you guys find your genetic self-identity, and eventually your social and racial identity. and i don’t care about this crap and whatever you say – I WON’T EVER READ THEM, WORSE REPLY TO THEM. I don’t need to get a life but many of you do.
**(more appropriate than micro-scopic, because chromosomes are super dooper uber tiny, can be only be measured in the nano-scale, 1 times 10 to the negative 9)
Dude, why don’t you get a life and get some real facts before you start talking stupid..the mag got excessive web traffic waaaaay before this article..actually it didn’t even make a blip..do your research..and you wrote the longest post on the whole comment section yet you say you won’t even reply..moron! Elysia wasn’t even degrading the opposite sex…you obviously can’t read..it’s loser asian men like you who think asian women belong to you that degrades the opposite sex…get a life!
Sun fan – why you keep replying when you have nothing intelligent to say except trash? It’s quite annoying actually. so stop that shitt…
I hereby will not take these so called Angry? Asian Female vs. Angry? Asian Male flame war comments seriously. Because if I did my head will literally explode. =)
Basically if I write comments as a ‘self defense mechanism’ and make ‘!$%#@!$%#’ assumptions about Asian girls. I am so going to get roasted or complimented! Rinse and Repeat. YAY! 168 brownie points for attention!
Let the gender wars continue! Because it is all about free speech! Thank you modern technology!
Seriously. Believing in stereotypes is your choice and at the same time it can create never ending conversations. I am myself by not letting stereotypes from the media get to me and I talk about stereotypes just for the sake of talking.
Relating yourself personally to stereotypes limits who you are.
Hey all, Asian female here.
First off, I’m addressing all the reasonable people here, not the idiots who say things like they want to form a hate group who murders Asian Female/White Male couples (I saw this on another site, but I know there are morons like that lurking everywhere.) If you are in the latter group, please do not bother replying.
I want to say that I do empathize with Asian guys who are subjected to sweeping generalizations about penis size, etc. It’s just mean-spirited and no one should be subjected to that.
But on the other hand, I really can’t stand it when some Asian guys seem to assume that all asian girls who date white guys are white-worshipping, self-loathing, opportunistic, or whatever. Why is it that ulterior motives are always attached to interracial relationships? How come I never see anyone bring up the possibility that maybe two people of different races just met, connected as human beings and got together because they have a lot in common and maybe like learning about each other’s cultures?
As well, I hardly ever see anyone bring up the fact that the attitude of these particular Asian guys is utterly misogynistic and insulting. They are alienating the very women that they are trying to “keep.” They speak like they have some kind of entitlement to Asian women just because they are Asian, as mentioned above as if Asian women “belonged” to them, and that any other males (e.g. whites) who dare encroach on their turf deserve to be shot or killed or whatever. This is a classic example of treating women as property. Do these guys really expect me to then be swayed by their “arguments?” Should I come running to a guy who thinks that he is entitled to me, and that if I dare exercise my choice to date someone of another race, that I should be shunned, or killed? Their attitudes just make me more defiant, and make me think that they are lower than pondscum.
On the other hand, Asian guys who can act with grace and civility and above all, RATIONALITY about the issue arouse strong feelings of respect in me, because as certain Asian males have demonstrated, it is all too easy to fall into that kind of self-victimizing, whiny, irrational and petty mindset instead. I think that a person (anyone, male or female, of any race) who can keep a cool head in the face of all this heated bullshit (from all sides) shows intellect and confidence, and is thus attractive, something that the bigoted ones sorely lack. (Hey man, maybe THAT’S the real reason you can’t get a girl, you’re a scapegoating chauvinist!)
My thoughts exactly. I’m Asian and I’m dating an Asian guy.. My boyfriend would never act like that.. Some of his friend’s do, and they are alone and miserable..Thus the attitude..It’s similar to which came first? The chicken or the egg? Do you have that bad attitude because you can’t get any chicks or can you not get any chicks because of that bad attitude? All in all, no race BELONGS to any race..And to all the guys who think it does..Move on and maybe you will find a nice girl..but until that attitude changes,,,,sorry no go!
Tell your bf for me he’s a good man. I’m sick of these bastards (and some Asian girls) who give me bad looks on the street, and think they’ve got me pegged just cause they got a glimpse of me for two seconds. These people must lead incredibly sad, bitter lives if they are so angry all the time that they could show such immediate, engulfing resentment towards a total stranger. This Asian guy gave me this “I’m gonna put a voodoo curse on you” look today, and I just glared right back and laughed at him. The funny thing is these guys probably know they can lash out on the internet and to each other till they’re blue in the face, but they have no power over us and there’s really nothing they can do. If they think they can bully me into “doing as they say” then they’re not only sexist, they’re also stupid.
So what is your personal experience (from what you see of other Asians)? Do you think most Asians are against interracial relationships, or are they mostly accepting or indifferent? From what I see, I’d say the vast majority of them are either accepting or indifferent (mostly indifferent.)
But damn this author somehow just stereotyped all Asian guys as being the same. Thats like saying all whites are the same when you go to a Guido party, cus they all have blow-outs, fake tans, and steriod muscles… That is the guido subculture. But theres tons of different sub-subcultures within the Asian Amer subculture, and the Author missed this completely. Wow, just mind boggling how dumb this Author is, not even going to talk about it anymore. Wait, thats a lie.
“It’s refreshing to meet someone who isn’t entirely similar to you. I don’t have to put up a front of being the “nice Filipino girl†the way some guys would presume Filipino women were like, which I never had to do anyway.”
Holy shit, wtf does that even mean? Elysia, does this mean that in the past you would date Philipino men, they would presume that you were a nice girl, and you (this is where I get confused) would or would NOT act like one? So you are NOT a nice Philipino girl. And because ALL philipino men presume ALL philipino women to be nice girls, and because you could NEVER put up the front, you are forced to date outside of Asian men? Hilarious. I smell Bullshit!
Nothing wrong with interracial dating, but your explanation (not that I would need one) is disturbing, and quite ugly.
Totally agree that some of these guys are not all there! The funny thing is, they try to sound so angry and tough, but if an Asian girl actually talks back, they seem to be taken aback like “whoa, I didn’t expect that.” From what I can tell, they think that any Asian girl who would go out with a white guy is brainwashed, gullible, and therefore submissive and/or stupid. So when one of us talks back and shows them how assertive and smart we can be, they kind of don’t know what to do (besides more name-calling and stupid assumptions). I schooled one very badly a while back on some forum (while being very careful not to be racist and stereotyping myself, since that would just reinforce their assumptions), and to my surprise he actually shut up. Never saw him there again.
I completely agree with you that Asian women should support each other instead of fighting amongst themselves. I find that women turn on each other too easily…. ALL women in fact, not just Asian women. I think it is perhaps because we are conditioned to seek the approval of men, and so women often place men’s approval over solidarity with other women. This is what allows us to be controlled by men – it is a classic case of “divide and conquer,” and this is what is happening here. I think some Asian women are internalizing some bitter Asian men’s ramblings about A/W couples and turning on their sisters. What they don’t realize, however, is that by listening they are only limiting their own options; instead of judging each case on its own merits they have internalized the inclination to not even consider an entire race as potential mates. One need only ask: now WHO EXACTLY does this scenario ADVANTAGE? Asian men or Asian women?
Crystaline and Sun Fan,
You are so typical of some of these women. Blaming everything on Asian men and act like it is all Asian men’s way they feel this way. What you both totally fail to see if the constant institutional racism in America against Asian men. Look, below are two videos that are from other people other than Asian men. You guys don’t ever think there is an issue because you know, your “white” guy is always different and you relationship is always different cause it is based on “true love”. Listen to these youtube videos yourself and tell me if there is no issue. There is a SERIOUS issue in the Asian American communty and all I see are women like both of you promoting anything but Asian unity or understanding. It is really sad either of you either look at things from an Asian man’s perspective other than blaming the guy when he speaks up against this racism in America.
http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tvl3Px8MI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er0U5TC391k&feature=related
Watch this video. And no, it is not from an Asian man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3GxDG-eLgk&feature=PlayList&p=F5F1697A3BF3AAEA&index=50
Listen to the damage of whitewashing has done to the people of color.
I’ll tell him..I tell him all the time.. I am so fortunate. I think the Asian men who are frustrated with their dating experience misplace their anger towards Asian women. Instead of looking at the real reason why they don’t have a mate, they lash out at Asian women who are dating outside their race, calling them sell out whores, we should be killed, etc…..as if as you said we are their possessions..NOT! Also, I definitely find that Asian women are jealous of other Asian women, not particularly outside the ethnic group. It’s very competitive among us…We should unite not fight. I have this to say to this Asian guys: If Asian sistas want to date a white, hispanic, black man so be it..that attitude is not going to get you anywhere. Try working on something you can control, like your attitude and thinking. Beating up on your own kind is not going to get the community anywhere. But based on the comments from the guys on this site I can tell we’re not dealing with Asian men with a full deck.
Jacky,
I never said there wasn’t a racism problem in the West. Maybe I should have been more clear. I’m sure there is a racism problem, though I don’t think it’s as bad as it was before. I have experienced racism myself, though mostly only when I was very young. I never said that there aren’t any white men who do objectify Asian women, and I never said Asian men aren’t given a raw deal by the media.
The difference is, I am not a victim. After experiencing racism from some white people (very few, to be honest), I don’t hide off in a corner and stick to only Asians, and grow bitter. I find other people out there, of all races, who are against racism, like me, and I unify with them. Sorry to stick in a pop culture reference here, but this seems a good example to me – when EMINEM insulted Christina Aguilera in his song with lyrics that suggested he and Fred Durst were arguing over “who she gave head to first,” Christina did not get all on the defensive. Instead, she teamed up with Fred Durst and rubbed it all in EMINEM’s face. Do you think your segregating yourself and growing bitter helps your situation? Do you think it actually decreases racism? Since when did it do any good to fight fire with fire? So don’t pigeonhole people like me as “traitors” or whatever just because I refuse to whine and act like a victim. And yes, my relationship with my boyfriend is based on love and connection. Are you gonna tell me that that’s impossible? Impossible just because two people are of a different race? Does that sound logical to you, if anything just from a statistical, probabilistic standpoint? And if it’s NOT impossible, why are you treating me as if it is?
You talk about not promoting Asian unity? Have you seen these bitter Asian men (and AGAIN, I am only talking about the bitter ones, NOT ALL Asian men) and how they talk about Asian women? You see them calling Japanese girls “Jap” girls, calling them sellouts or whatever? Do you think that promotes Asian unity? And again, do you think this behaviour helps endear Asian women to them? Don’t tell me I’m typical, because you don’t know me.
If you’re frustrated about the situation, I understand. Believe me, I HATE racism, sexism, intolerance of homosexuals, anything that suggests MENTAL LAZINESS. But you gotta understand, it doesn’t help to become bitter and segregationist yourself. It would do more good to get out there, find people of an open mind like yourself of any race, and rub it in those goddamn racists’ faces.
Maybe the girl you are speaking about is attracted to the white guy? Because the guys she is dating is not attractive in your eyes..you feel bad for her? How dumb is that?..what if as you say, it was an ugly black guy or an ugly Latin guy in your opinion..Dude we don’t want your pity..We don’t care is more like it..You are obviously the one with the problem..are you that dumb that you can’t see it..we all can..Your argument holds not merit..You are just DUMB..I feel bad for you.. You are one of the bitter Asian guys who does’t have his own life or girlfriend.. If you did, this would be of no concern to you! YOu perpetuate the Angry Asian Man stereotype..good going!
Sun Fan –
Boy I can see your lame responses a mile away. I read some of your comments and I think you are retarded. In other words, you are pretty dumb and does not make any sense.
It is not just me who noticed these things. Many other minorities have noticed the same. Did you both to watch the YOUTUBE videos from the links I left in my post above?
It is a major issue. Low self esteem self hating no respect insecure Asian chicks dating loser white men just because they are white. It is as black as white.
When I actually do see an Asian chick with a black or Latino guy, I give her props cause she is not following the status quo or whatever. I have dated black women and they are BY FAR the most supportive females of Asian men I have ever been with. I know it is news to people like you, but it is true. Even the white girls are WAY more supportive than some Asian chicks. It is very pathetic that we don’t support each other but it is what it is. I guess when the white men threw these Asian women a bone, they ate it up and gladly taken whatever tossed their way even if it is bottom of the bottom.
Now I know some chicks like really ugly disgusting looking men, but how come Asian chicks always dig the white ugly looking men? Am I angry? Only in the sense that these chicks are degrading Asian people in general with their actions. I don’t want one near me cause seriously, I have more respect for myself to be contaminated with white wannabe self hating disease.
One more thing Sun Fan, why is it everytime when someone points out the TRUTH and he is automatically labelled angry and dateless? Don’t you think your comments are pathetic? I mean, unless you are blind, take a look at MOST of those WM/AF couples on the street of NYC. Please tell me my comments are not true. Look, I am quite happy with my own life if that’s what you are asking? I am in the top 5% of Americans in networth. I got multiple degrees and I got a great girl, what else can a guy ask for? I merely was doing some Google and ran into this article. It is pretty damn offensive from a clueless chick. It is unfortunate some of these self hating bitches are all making all kinds of noise on TV or whatever trying to put down Asian men and prop up white men. It is time for Asian men to speak up. We need more people bash these bitches everywhere. Seriously, I won’t touch these self hating bitches even they are the last women on earth so please don’t flatter yourself, but their comments are offensive nevertheless. It is also too bad behaviors of these bitches reflect BADLY on ALL ASIAN AMERICANS in general, but we still live in a society where actions of a few for minorities are judged as a whole. Am I sad Asian American community is full of these self hating bitches? Yes I am but unless people like you see the problem vs. sugarcoating it, nothing will ever be resolved. It is pretty funny other minorities see the issue too but you are still as blind as a bat in denial.
sorry but no one with your grammar consistant Asian women bashing is in the top 5% net worht..Moron. You are the same tool who keeps posting here over and over. Get a life. That is all I have to say..And I speak for all Asian Women…
Sun Fan – Notice when someone is making a point, they list the reasons why he/she is making a point. When you make a point, you resort to stupid name calling and worthless junk. You are as smart as a 2 years old baby so it gets pretty tiring to explain how this society is like to a 2 years old. At least the other girl Crystaline made some sense. Anyway, I said my piece and it is the truth. I wish I can completely disassociate myself from these self hating bitches completely, but it is not possible due to obvious reasons. You can accuse me whatever you like, but deep down you know I am speaking the truth. BTW, if you speak for Asian women then I fear for the future for Asian women. Thank god I know better and I know some pretty decent Asian women out there who aren’t as stupid or as blind as some of these self hating bitches.
Go back to trolling the internet looking for Asian Women.. You are not wanted here. I don’t debate with morons who call Asian Women self hating bitches.
Crystaline,
First of all, I don’t consider myself a victim at all. I am a proud man and I do date plenty. I just think there is a serious problem in the Asian American community if we have any community at all. Let me clarify my comments:
If you are a good looking girl and you are dating a good looking guy regardless of race, good for you. If you are an ugly girl dating and you are dating an ugly guy of any race, good for you. If you are an Asian girl dating one of those white guys who looks like he just crawled out of a sewer somewhere or a pedophile or an ugly ass pervert, then my comments are for you.
1) When we see you, it is not because we want to “own†you or want to tell you how to live your life, it is because we feel pity for you.
2) You are degrading yourself, your family and your race by dating such a pathetic loser just because he is white. Have you ever wonder why it is always white? In a city full of minorities like NYC, how come Asian girls only date white men when it comes to interracial dating?
3) It is not because we want to date you. Who the hell want to date a pathetic loser who is insecure, with low self esteem and full of self hate?
4) Thanks for continuing to promote white is right and cater to white male’s view of racial hierarchy. In other words, thanks for keep promoting racism in America.
5) We are not jealous of you. We just think you are a pathetic loser who caters to ugly white men and their Asian fetish. It is not like these ugly men can get anyone else so they ended up with you.
Lastly, I didn’t even date Asian women for the longest time so I could not careless who they date. But, I do care about images of Asian Americans in general. It is unfortunate some of these women are Asian and what they do reflect on Asian Americans in general. When I do see these pathetic self hating bitches go on TV or whatever and openly stereotype Asian men like we are all the same (like this author above), then I got a problem with you. It is pretty damn sad the only females that are defending Asian men on the YOUTUBE or in the media are white women or black women who actually have dated Asian men. Look, I could careless about these women but they are an ugly reflection of the Asian American community. It is unfortunate Asian kids or hapa kids gonna go through the same shit again. I hope all these bitches have sons someday so they know what they gonna have to deal with. Trust me, I know cause some of my best friends are hapas and some of their experiences are no different than Asian American men. In CA today, I am glad to see more and more Asian men dating other women of other races. I have no idea if this is a good trend or bad trend, but I do know the Asian Community as a whole is going nowhere in the USA. As a proud man, I don’t appreciate any bitch (Asian or not) that want to judge me purely because of my skin color or ethnicity. I don’t appreciate these bitches go on TV, on the Web or whatever to make sweeping stereotypical statements about Asian men in negative light. This is the only reason I am speaking up.
First, I want to clarify that I am not dating my boyfriend just because he’s white, cause obviously that’s pretty stupid. I’m actually a really picky girl, and I’ve rejected many guys, many of whom have been white. So I guess your comments don’t apply to me. Still, what you are saying about Asian girls dating “ugly white guys” is pretty harsh.
I can see where you’re coming from, I don’t think the reasons behind the bitterness are completely meritless. But isn’t it just a little bit shallow to assume that the Asian girl is self-hating and dating the white guy just because he’s white, just because you think the white guy is unattractive? What if she’s dating him despite his unattractiveness, because of his other good qualities? Wouldn’t your assumption be as shallow as you’re accusing her of being?
You said yourself that you didn’t date Asian girls for a long while. Does that mean you dated girls of other races? Just try putting yourself in the shoes of an Asian girl who is dating a white guy genuinely because they are right for each other — constantly being subjected to presumptuous stares and unjustified, uninformed criticism. It’s not her fault if other girls harbor stereotypes about all Asian men. Can’t you understand that her frustration can be just as great as those concerned for the “reputation” of the Asian community? What if people called you names and made presumptions about you just because you didn’t date Asian girls (for a while?) That DOES exist you know (to a much lesser extent of course), that is, people who think that Asian guys who don’t date Asian girls (or appeared to avoid them for any length of time) are self-hating.
I am just tired of people assuming things about me, and it appears that you are tired of the exact same thing. So why is there such a rift between us? I am from Canada, and I am starting to suspect from reading these posts that the problem is much worse in America. Perhaps that is why we are in such different places. Here, I see Asian girls with all types of guys… one of my oldest friends for example dated a Persian guy. Also I know many girls who have dated both Asian and white guys. One of the factors may be just that the majority of guys in North America are white guys, and there are much fewer minority men. That is the definition of minority, after all. So the chances of meeting and liking a white guy are higher.
If you say that you do not want to own Asian women, or that you are not jealous of them, etc., that’s fair enough. I’ll take your word for it. But at the same time I don’t think you can speak for all the Asian men who lash out. I really do think some of them are losers who are using the race issue to take out the fact that they can’t get a girl on other people. It is obvious from the stuff that some of them say that they really don’t give a shit about Asian identity and culture, and that they really do feel they are entitled to Asian women. The race card is just an easy way to be a complete asshole and sound like you have a good reason for it. I know that doesn’t erase the legitimate concerns of more intelligent Asians, but I think it sure does merit me giving them a piece of my mind.
I use hair wax. Expensive wax. No flaking and that shit can take some abuse. Nothing better than going to sleep with one hairstyle and waking up with another cool, right-out-bed look.
Anyways, came across this article through Jen Fang’s site. As a Filipino-American, I was saddened by what I read, but I wasn’t surprised. Centuries of Spanish colonial rule and fifty years under American occupation has influenced the way both Filipino men and women view themselves, which just so happens to be very poorly . Skin lighteners can only get you so white. If you can’t have that white skin the next best thing is a white partner. It’s actually encouraged within the culture, depending on class, to pursue relationships with Caucasians, or hell even light-skinned Asians, as a means bettering one’s standing. A lot of old-school Filipino parents want that oh so special mestizo/mestiza grandchild. Compound that with America’s portrayal of Asians in the media and you my friends have a fantastic recipe for self-hate. With nuts. Now excuse me while I go make sweet lovin’ to my non-Asian lady. I needs to fuck this brown out of my skin. Dirty, dirty disgusting brown… oh, and God Bless.
You are definitely the same tool posting over and over..We get it. You hate Asian Women who date White Men..We get it..You hate being Asian and you hate White Men. Your problems in life all have to do with the white man. Instead of writing 6 paragraphs of garbage why don’t you do something about it instead of bitching..write your own article, your own screenplay, your own book..yeah oh and keep calling Asian women dumb bitches…REeeaaaal intelligent. There is no debating your situation..It’s clear cut..you are a bitter tool who is blaming the white man..move on.
Oh Kristi Yamaguchi is married to a White Man. Bet you hate her too hun? Bringing home the Gold medal for the United States..Jacky you are a Loser!!
And you can’t read. Did you bother to read anything I wrote or you have some standard response to anyone who smashed your little reality to pieces?
No, I don’t have a problem with Kristi Yamaguchi cause at least she married an athletic guy instead of some bottom of barrel loser most of these self hating Asian bitches seem to end up with.
While you are at it, go get a brain somewhere. I heard they are on sale at Macy’s this weekend.
First to Sun Fan – You need to STFU cause you have nothing to contribute.
Crystaline – ok at least you made some sense. Really, I don’t have any problem with interracial relationships at all. I have been in them myself so it is not like I am against them. I have dated black women, latino women and yes white women. The one I do have issues is WM/AF cause there are so many negative factors around it. Believe me, there are plenty of AFs who did exactly as I described. Low self esteem, self hating and white wannabes. They settle for loser ugly white men because they are white only and not much else. That is disgusting and degrading at the same time. On one hand you got gross white men making fetish statements about Asian women like a piece of meat and on the other hand you got stupid naive AFs who are clueless and think these white men are nice and are flattered when these losers pay them attention. BTW, when those losers make degrading remarks about Asian women, who the hell do you think is out there defending them? It sure aren’t white guys. It is still Asian men who are out there defending their honor. Yeah I can’t stand many of these low self esteem sellouts, but it does not mean I gonna keep quiet when some stupud racist white guy making some derogatory remarks about Asian women. I still see it as an insult to everyone Asian although many of these dumb bitches don’t see it that way. Why else would this author write a lame article about generalizing all Asian men?
NYC is where this Website is based and is also one of the most diversed cities in the USA. Take a look at all the IRs AFs are in. It is like 99% white. In CA, it is the same thing when there are a ton of Latinos and other minorities here. Please don’t try to tell me “it just happens” cause that’s full of crap. Things don’t just happen that way, it is for a reason. I have many minority male friends (black, Latinos etc.) and trust me, they all noticed this too and they joked about it. Just watch the youtube video from a black guy I listed above. Listen to what he has to say and don’t just think I am a hater. I am speaking out because I am noticing more and more these self hating women out there go on national TV, Websites or whatever and write some really nasty general stereotypical comments about Asian men. Like this author above stereotyping Asian men as “puppuy dogs”? Yeah I like to see any man try to put that label on me. I like to whoop her dumb ass boyfriend just to see who the real puppy dog is. Seriously, this act of total sellout is not acceptable. It is digusting and these bitches need to be called out. Perhaps I should write an article “Few Good Asian Women” and tell the world the truth about these women. They feel because white men threw them a bone, somehow that give them the power to degrade Asian men. What they failed to understand is stereotypes about Asian women is just as worst as the ones in Asian men. The fact Asian women stereotypes help some AFs get some dates because it attracted losers is not social progress. These AFs merely reinforce the white is right by picking BFs because of their skin color and nothing else. Another thing these dumb bitches don’t realize is their kids, hapa or not, will go through this same stuff again over and over. I don’t think these bitches understand that. I have hapa friends that have Asian mothers that barely speak English yet they refused to teach their kids anything about the Asian culture. That’s pathetic.
BTW, yes the problem is probably much worst in the USA because the white controlled media is so strong here. I have heard in NYC it is the worst of the worst. Canada is somewhat better but they are still influenced a lot by American media. I been to countries where media is more fair (like Brazil) and trust me this issue is far less. For one, they don’t have even close to the interracial disparity we have here in the USA. Until Asian men and women see the problem is the system in the USA, nothing will change. All the minorities in the USA need to work together and destroy this white dominated system and make it more fair for everyone. Otherwise, we gonna get more and more dumb bitches like this author here.
Dating White for White’s sake?
What does that even mean? Is it necessarily wrong? If some woman said she dated Asian guys because she liked the way they looked, would that be dating Asian for Asian’s sake, and would Jacky or anyone else be ranting here against the woman?
If some Asian woman said she dates White men because she likes the way some of them look (or act, or whatever) how would she be doing something “wrong” that isn’t being done by everyone else who prefers to date people of a different race?
Why is it that the
only
interracial relationship people feel free to disparage is that between a White man and an Asian woman? Why is it that racists feel free to concoct absurd excuses for their racism, pretending that interracial attractions between White men and Asian women are 1) all the same, and 2) different from other people’s interracial attractions?
It’s all just a load of self-serving self-deceit.
Funny thing ‘coz I don’t find Asian men the same. They’re unique. A Yoon Kye Sang is different from a Joe Cheng, Tamaki Hiroshi and Richard Gutierrez. Haha It probably depends on how or where an Asian gal was brought up ‘coz back in the Philippines girls usually go crazy over Asian guys. I don’t know, I just don’t get attracted to Caucasian/White guys either. I love asian males ‘coz they’re neat, smart, can speak more than 2 languages, not hairy, drift their cars pretty good, has their own fashion, family oriented, know what RESPECT means, value education etc.
Sun Fan – in order to be part of the discussion, your frame of the mind need to be in the in same planet. Since yours is out there somewhere, you should STFU. BTW, shouldn’t you be in mind at Macy’s to get your low IQ brain version 1.0 since the one you got is so outdated?
To Crystaline – Also, I could careless if these AFs get pissed when someone points out the truth. Yea it is their insecuries they have to deal with, but it is the general brainwashing every Asian has been subjected to since birth in America. If you aren’t bright enough to see people for just people vs. constantly lumping all Asian men into one big group, then they are no different than white racists other than they are insecure AF racists. Sure the message might be harsh, but it really hits home vs. being politically correct. Any Asian American whO see the truth in what’s going on will understand my point of view.
oh and who is supposed to determine “bottom of the barrel” and “ugly” white men? You? What a joke…Get off the board…tool! YOu are so juvenile.
Look, I take your point about Asian women who do really date white “for white’s sake.” I completely understand why it would make an Asian person mad; I think a lot about social issues and I’d like to think I’m pretty perceptive. That said, my point is that the behavior and/or attitudes of such women DO NOT JUSTIFY the sweeping prejudice I see against ANY and ALL WM/AF couples. This is not to deny the truth that some Asian women do think like that, and that it shouldn’t be that way. But it still does not justify reactionary hate towards ALL WM/AF couples, which is what I tend to see. Otherwise, I think it does not lie in the mouths of these people to speak about social justice. It blows my mind that some of these people do not see the utter hypocrisy in their words and actions – they complain about prejudice and stereotyping, and in the same breath they say that they want to go on a shooting rampage and “blast away” at any WM/AF couple they see in the street? That they want to “take out a silencer” and shoot their neighbors’ “half-breed baby?” Do they not see the counterproductiveness of their attitudes? This brings me to my second point – high-level talk about racism aside, what practical GOOD would it do to “shame” all Asian women who go out with white men? Once we get into the realm of actions and results, I think the futility of emotion-laden, indiscriminate hate becomes apparent. I have never seen an Asian woman dating a white man read that shit, and go “hey yeah, I better listen to that guy who apparently wants to kill me, and leave my boyfriend. OH LORDY I have seen the light.” Hell no. When Asian women dating white men see that shit, no matter what their reason, genuine or illegitimate, they’re gonna say “FUCK that loser, why the FUCK should I listen to him? Who the hell does he think he is, telling me how to live my life?” The ones who stereotype Asian men will just take those attitudes as more reason to think that Asian men are inferior; they will have another thing to add to their list, however wrong it is to have such a list. The ones who are dating their boyfriends for genuine reasons, such as myself, are gonna become more defiant because of those attitudes. This does not mean that I will start stereotyping all Asian guys, because I will not stoop to hypocrisy. But it does mean that I will tell these guys off, and I will NEVER, EVER let their words affect my relationship with my boyfriend, or let their words EVER affect my decisions on who to date. If I let that happen, then they win. And I’ll be damned if I’ll ever let a racist win. I don’t treat Asian racists any different than I would treat a white racist. I’ll continue dating whoever I think is worthy of me, and if he happens to be white, so be it. Lastly, and perhaps most insidious, is that some of these Asians’ attitudes (men AND women) could in some cases turn an otherwise non-racist Asian woman into one who thinks that all Asian men have these attitudes. She might start thinking that all Asian men treat Asian women like shit, like things to be possessed. And sadly, I have seen Asian women say this on the internet. I didn’t know where they got that from at first, cause from what I’ve seen Asian men generally treat their girlfriends really well. Now I am starting to suspect that the source of their beliefs is what I described.
So, after all that, what is it that I want? All I’m asking is that when you see a WM/AF couple in the street, don’t automatically assume that they’re scumbags. Give them the benefit of the doubt. People form archetypes and schemata in their heads from what they observe, but these schemata can also act as a colored lens and distort what you observe. And as for the Asian women who ARE somewhat “brainwashed” – it sounds weird and like a lot to ask, but try to show them some compassion. This doesn’t mean accept their attitudes, it just means maybe try to explain to them the error of their ways without launching a full on assault. After all, as you said, some of them are just clueless, right? They don’t know that they’re being insulted. So enlighten them. But you can’t truly enlighten someone by lashing out at them, they won’t listen to you. Finally, I think some of them deserve a LITTLE bit of compassion, because sometimes it is really hard not to hate yourself if you are being inundated constantly with messages that you are a second-class citizen. In some ways they are victims of the system just like you. So at least try to show them a little bit of patience, at least at first. I think it might be the only real, viable way of encouraging amicability and togetherness in the Asian community.
First of all to Crystaline – I do agree most of what you said. First of all, I have to agree with you that there are certainly some Asian men who are also clueless who tried to paint a wide brush for all WM/AF couples. Those are not right and there are not excuses for that either. I don’t agree their wide brush approach either. If you read my comments, I hope you are clear where I am coming from. I am certainly smart enough to know the difference between someone who dates someone for their characters vs. someone just do it for all the wrong reasons. There are certainly many Asian women who DO DO IT for ALL the wrong reasons. They are also the same one who make excuses why they do it by making sweeping ugly stereotypical statements (see authoor Elysa) about Asian men. Do you think all Asian guys should shut up and not say something back? You think it is ok to promote this kind of behavior and just take things as they are? When there are such inbalance in things and things are out of wack, people will get pissed at some point and they gonna fight back. Those idiots who promote these racist behivors will get their due. Remember what they used to do to traitors in wars. I don’t think they are much different than traitors in many sense. Keep in mind most Asian men expect racism from white men because white men have set up a system in USA that totally favors white men and no one else. However, racism or sexism from Asian women is totally uncalled for.
To oiwn – you are from the 2nd camp who is naive enough to think all people date for the sake of “love”. There are many social conditions that caused certain things to happen. Have you ever ask yourself why when it comes to interracial relationships for Asian women the men are always white? Do you honestly believe all white men are beautiful? The average white guy is fat, bald and out of shape. Is that definition of attractiveness? Or is it the only reason many of these women date these men because of their white skin and not much else? Granted there are many women who DO date men for legitimate reasons, but there are enough of the ones I just described to make you wonder how f*@k is this whole situation? For someone like me who “get it” or see the truth, it is like a walking reminder that racism is alive and well. In an ideal world, everyone would date everyone else regardless of skin color but based on personal characters. I realize it is not possible in this society unless the whole white power structure get crushed, but it is something every person white and minorities should work toward instead of constantly promoting and supporting the current power structure. What does this mean? It means speak up against idiots who promote this “white is right” power structure and not write dumb ass articles like the one above to stereotype Asian men or minorties in general while trying to promote “white is right” mentality that is so prevelent in the minority communities.
That being said, I truly believe more Asian women who “get it” need to speak out far more. When Asian men talk, they are labelled angry or as idiot Sun Fan said “can’t get a date”. Meanwhile, it is those racist AFs that promote “white is right” that have the loudest voice. They are the ones who are on TV and writing ugly articles. Why are they on TV you wonder? Cause white guys probably would let anyone on TV if they are to make white men look good and everyone look bad. Meanwhile, AM/AF couples are almost invisible to the media. You don’t see AM/AF couples on TV, in ads or anywhere in the USA.
It really pisses me off when most Asian women stay silent on this issue because probably they don’t want to upset white men by spreaking out. Comments from Asian women that “get it” are far more powerful than just Asian men. That being said, what I do see are white women and black women who have dated Asian men who are on YOUTUBE and on the Internet supporting Asian men despite hate messages from white men. So, Crystaline, if you truly care about the Asian community as a whole, I hope you or AFs like you write some counter articles to craps like the one above.
sorry but the word “tool” is my word not yours…Try re-reading. This is an Asian women’s site and since you are an Asian Man shouldn’t you talk nice about Asian Women? Especially since you’re on an Asian Women’s site?
Sun Fan you are amazing. I love your one or two liners. I must have read most of the posts on here just looking for your comments, and Jacky is right. You are a tool. Girl or is it a guy, I have no idea why you say the same things over and over. And is it true that you are dating an Asian guy? Hey, people are people, and they will date whoever they want but I do understand Jacky’s comments. I thought this site was for Asian women, and being that it is an Asian site, shouldn’t you also comment nicely about Asian men. I see it in Black, Latino and even white magazines. I don’t see articles like this. ‘Looking for a few good black or white or Latino men.’ Wow! Then it is quite common on Asian sites. Why do Asian women love bashing Asian men. I don’t get it. Is it because of the sterotype that our media has protrayed? And Jacky the youtube links are quite interesting, I never would have guessed it. Thanks.
Sun Fan or is it Bob, Frank or Mike. You state that why am I on an Asian Women site, then you should ask yourself the same question or ask your fellow white brothers the same question. Quit pretending that you are an Asian female, seriously, it is getting old. If you are an Asian female, I see why we (Asian men and women) have so much issues. Have you ever read other women’s (black or Latino) magazines or websites? Do you see them bashing, OK not bashing, but writing these types of articles. If so, please post the URL’s on here. I tell you want, being someone that has travelled the world, I have seen enough to see why so many Asian men are angry. Seriously dude, I understand everyone has their own choice to date or marry whomever they want, but come on life is not perfect and life is not fair. Reality is that Asian women for some reason do date or marry three to 10 time (between that range) more than Asian men. Are we jealous.. probably, but it is human nature to feel that way. Especially, if you see your own kind treating you like shit. I bet you are the first to say that racism doesn’t exist. The problem is I believe it is more affluent then ever, we just cover it up much better these days. What else kills me is that so many white men troll through Asian sites to target Asian women. They leave comments that Asian women want to hear, and Asian women love that. I am not saying Asian women are stupid, but for some reason, Asian men (Asian American) are still sterotyped as dominating, wife abusing boyfriends or husbands. Why is that? Why do Asian women always comment on how White men understand them? Why do Asian believe in Amy Tan’s writing? Why do Asian women allow so many white media detect there lives? If you really look at the stats on this I bet you white and black men percentage is much greater in the US. Even factoring in the population size. Even if you are dating an Asian man as you stated, which I don’t believe, I can not figure out why you are so angry. I think maybe we should call you the Angry Asian Woman. Sorry for rambling.. Peace and I am not Jacky.. And if Jacky is reading this, I would love to have a beer and have a discussion with him. He seem pretty cool and to the point.
I’ve been acquainted with a number of Filipinos. Generally speaking, in my experience they’ve had the tendency to identify themselves ethnically as ‘different’ than other Asian ethnicities. The strong ‘Filipino’ identity would always seem to separate itself from an ‘Asian’ identity, even though the Philippines is a part of the Asian continent. Their identity would be similar to how an Hispanic person would perceive himself/herself ethnically. I admit that I’m primarily referring to Filipinos as in ‘male’. However, with the advent of the internet, and a more publicized proclamation of White men claiming to prefer Asian woman, why are so many ‘Filipinas’ so quick nowadays to jump on the ‘Asian female’ bandwagon? Why the rather prompt ethnic identity change?
My suspicion is further aroused by Elisia’s self-assumed all encompassing knowledge of Asian men in general. It’s interesting how her desire to date someone different is racially based as opposed to ethnically based. I have a hard time swallowing the notion that she knows ‘that’ much about Korean, Japanese, Chinese (and it’s sub-ethnicities), Mongolian, Laotian, Thai, Indonesian, Bhutanese, Vietnamese, Cambodian, males. I can however buy into the notion that she would have a fair amount of knowledge of Filipino males. She must have been raised in the most multi-Asian ethnic neighborhood in the world.
So, at the same time we have this strange psuedo harmonious Asian female ‘bonding’; we have an equally strange anti-Asian male ‘targeting’.
Have not been back a little. It seems Sun Fan never read or listen and only capable of making stupid one liners accusing people this or that.
For those that don’t understand why this system we have in place in America is so fucked up. Go watch this YouTube video on White Privilege by Tim Wise. The man gets it and it is unfortunately the truth in this country. He discussed a lot about ugly stereotypes and how the country as whole is worst off with this unfair system in place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UJlNRODZHA
BTW, Tim Wise is white.
Is because you retarded and a fool and you blame others for your misfortune…well the misfortune that you’ve create in you head..Get a life..What a loser you are sitting and posting on this site that your life sucks because of the white man…we’re all over it.
First to Jacky – I know you probably don’t care if AFs get pissed if you attack them. What I’m saying is, on a results level, it is not going to achieve what you want it to achieve. You said that being harsh “hits home more than being politically correct.” First, my aim is not to be “politically correct,” it is to be “correct,” as in corresponding as much as possible with the reality out there. And the reality is, not all AF/WM couples are “brainwashed” or “doing it for the wrong reasons.” Now I can’t say that I know the situation exactly in the US, but in Canada, I don’t really see what you see. Since I’ve been reading this post, I’ve made a point of tallying in my mind all the AF/other race couples I’ve seen on the street in Toronto. And I must say I have seen AFs with brown men as much as with white men, and many AM/other race couples as well. From what I’ve observed, the only way attacking AFs who go out with white men “hits home” is that it makes them resent AMs. That’s all. That’s the practical truth (that I’ve seen), all talk about racism aside. And I know that’s probably not what some AMs generally want to hear, because they probably feel that lashing out at AFs is all they could do. They can’t actually go out and carry out their revenge fantasies, cause it would actually make martyrs of the AF/WM couple. Then they will be ten steps back. I’m just saying though, the AMs who lash out actually aren’t making it any better for themselves. That’s why I’m saying if you want results, the only way is to have some patience and control and explain to those you want to change. On the other hand, if you DON’T care about results and just want to speak out, then I guess lashing out is fine.
To the guy/girl? who responded to me – I hope the foregoing explains that I don’t think all AMs should just “shut up about it.” I am just pointing out that despite how satisfying (or whatever other adjective you want) it is to lash out, it is counterproductive against AM’s interests. If someone wants results, they take to pointing out societal injustices in a way that does not alienate those who they want to listen. The visionaries, the ones who can put their immediate emotions aside in service of a greater cause, know this. For example, Martin Luther King didn’t lash out at “crackers” generally or any such thing. He made sure to make it very clear that not all white people are racist, and he used terms such as “white brothers.” He was aware of the cardinal rule that if you want a certain group of people as a whole to change, you cannot alienate those members of that group who are sympathetic to your cause. That was probably a very difficult thing to do, to have such wisdom and emotional temperance in a time when black people were experiencing racism at a level that was completely absurd. But he had it. And that didn’t make his words any less poignant or have any less force. In fact it made his words MORE influential. That is all I am trying to say – speak with patience and compassion if you don’t want your words to fall on deaf ears.
Also I just wanted to quickly note – sometimes my words may seem unsympathetic to Asian males, but I want to assure anyone who reads this that that’s not the case. My dad is an Asian male, my brother is an Asian male, my uncles, my grandfathers… I love them all and I am not the stupid type to forget that indiscriminate bashing insults those I love as well. All I’m trying to do is to brush the emotion aside for a second, understandable as it may be, to tell people what I see as the practical effects of what they are saying and doing. After all, what is understandable is not always right, and definitely not always effective. That said, I do appreciate all your insights.
The reason you can not answer him is that you have no clue. You are an angry Asian woman, or plan and simple.. Just angry. SHIT I am sorry an Angry White Dude. I keep on getting confused that you are actually a man. Seriously, this is a site for Asian women, I totally understand, but if they post articles like this..yep they deserve to be called out. Come on don’t you think that White men are pissed that all their beautiful white women are dating black athletes or movie stars. Now I see the reason why you are on here..
Thank you for not replying back on this blog or forum without calling all Asian men, ‘Tools’ or ‘Angry Asian Men’ especially seeing some of the comments left by us Men. I do see some of your point, but I think there are deeper issues why so many Asian women want to date out of their race. At this time more than 75 percent of interracial marriage amongst Asian and white are between Asian women and white men. And amongst Asian/black couples, the number is even greater. That is the in the US, I have no idea about Canada. Why is that? I also like how you put, — ‘From what I’ve observed, the only way attacking AFs who go out with white men “hits home” is that it makes them resent AMs. That’s all. That’s the practical truth (that I’ve seen), all talk about racism aside. And I know that’s probably not what some AMs generally want to hear, because they probably feel that lashing out at AFs is all they could do. They can’t actually go out and carry out their revenge fantasies, cause it would actually make martyrs of the AF/WM couple. Then they will be ten steps back. I’m just saying though, the AMs who lash out actually aren’t making it any better for themselves. — So how would you do it if the role’s were reversed? Think of yourself as an Asian male, and don’t give me the political correct answer. Put yourself in his shoes. I guess I can discribe it, but you already know how they feel. Also, yes Martin Luther King was a great man, but I don’t think African Americans have it so bad these days. As you stated it was the past, and yes they were treated unfairly back then, but I don’t think Asians were being welcomed to their white social functions or social gathering either. The problem with Asians — well my opinion — is that they were to afraid to start trouble and never fought back. That is still the case today. Always trying to save face, but being slapped in the face and kicked in the nuts by whites. Trying to represent the model minority. Also like how you stated about the great visionaries – Martin Luther King. Yes he was and we do celebrate his dreams every year. The question I would like to ask.. Would an Asian person have the same support or following from his Asian brothers/sisters to fight anunjust cause like Martin Luther King had?
A few days away and the usual stupid moronic comment from Sun Fan. Sun Fan you write like a guy with an IQ of 2.
Crystaline – You need to watch more if you think AFs are dating other men besides white. Please. It is as rare as seeing an unicorn in CA where I do see an AF dating a black or Latino guy. If you don’t like my comments, it is too bad because it is the truth.
Here is an article from San Francisco Chronicle that’s related to this topic: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article/article?f=/g/a/2008/06/18/apop.DTL. I do think this problem won’t go away until the Asian community deal with it. It is not as simple as “oh, it is just love” because it obviously is not.
Crystaline – One more thing, it seems your attitude is this is an Asian men problem. Well, I got news for you. It is as much AF problem as it is AM problem. Anytime the society tries to put a whole group of people into a neat little box and categorize it, then we got problems. White males in USA has established a very real racial caste where they have promoted themselves to be on top. People of color can fight the entire system to achieve equality or be like uncle toms and support the system. Apparently, many AFs have taken the path of least resistance. Anyway, the issue with come back again and again since your kids will go through it again unless you plan to abort all of your kids who will be boys. Some AFs might think this is a non-issue, then can you explain to me why Asian American females have the highest suicide rate among all women in the USA? It is pretty clear many of these racist problems affect them too in a very bad way.
Funny, I am rarely offended by comments made about Asian men. But have to say that your comment, ” Asian men are similar to trained puppy dogs. They’re cute and obedient. Everybody loves them. Who wouldn’t love a guy who already knows all the rules without having to remind them what they are?” was probably one of the most offensive things I have ever heard.
Calling anyone GROUP a pack of trained puppy dogs shows a complete lack of respect for the individuals who make up that group.
That’s like saying all white guys are drunken frat boys who act like idiots and re destined to be serial killers. Is that a fair comment to make? Absolutely not.
Yes, I read your article all through and I hear one thing, YOUR OWN DISCOMFORT with who you are. Note, its YOUR discomfort — not the discomfort of Asian women. Sounds like YOU don’t like being the nice Filipina. And it sounds like YOU require some drama to make your life a little more tolerable, ie. you having to explain to your new boyfriend how to navigate through a meeting with your family.
Look, I think its great that we live in the US and can date whomever we want. I have dated Latin girls, married a black woman, divorced a black woman, dated White girls, more black girls, and now an Asian girl. It was nothing personal, just the fact that these were the people I met. And if its your decision never to date a Filipino guy ever again, that’s your business.
No need to disparage anyone in the meantime.
Not all asian men are alike. If you think they are, it’s because you haven’t met many. Dating a couple of asian men does not mean we’re the same there are millions of asian men you think every single one are identical?
So sad some of our sistas have such self loathing attitudes.I’m all for interracial dating, I’ve dated mostly white women, some Latinas and Asian American women as well but I have a problem when they exclusively eliminate and disparge their own race or ethnicity. Why down the brotha? We are educated,good husbands,good providers for our kids and we’re not going to wind up in prisons.
Hey Elysia,you have dated that many Asian American guys to generize like that? I don’t fit into any of your sterotypes and neither does any of my Asian American friends,maybe its the west coast thing or young boys thing. I’m Corean American in my 30’s,never had short spiked hair,never had a pimped out import,never owned any Timberland, gold chain with crucifix? That must be a Filpino thing. Oh you must be speaking about your Filipino dating experience because surely non of my Corean American friends fit any of the sterotype here in NYC.
You see. I’ve seen self loathing Asian American chicks like you before,I’ve seen you checking me out as you cling to your white boyfriend like some sort of trophy.( Yeah right, only in your delusional mind:)) Afterall, I’m an attractive guy,6’1″ tall,200 lb with an athletic build? But I wouldn’t give you the time of day to chicks like you. You’re just a naive tool of the racist Hollywood white media. Elysia, are you sure your name isn’t Sarah horseface Silverman or Ester Ko?
To my brothas, stop sulking,relax, be outgoing and grow some balls. You guys don’t want these self haters,start dating out. I’ve dated plenty of white women,they are like all other women.There is no mystery about them. Just have the confidence and ask them out.If one turns you down,don’t take it personal just keep on asking.
Good luck
This article was annoying to read. It was as if the writer had no control over who she dated or the reasons for why she decided to be with someone. It seems as if race is the predominate factor, rather than personality, value system, and lifestyle choices. When you start to view all Asian men as being “typical” and fitting some stereotype, you block yourself from seeing anything beyond that. Her only reason for breaking up with her Filipino boyfriend was because she could see her life being predictable — watching soap operas on YouTube, her husband watches karate, no sex, and her kids names being “typical” as if she had NO control over that? This is no different than saying if you date a white guy your children are going to be named “Tyler” “Bobby” “Hayley” or “Amanda”. Nothing is predictable if YOU have control over your life — it is not someone else to blame, and definitely not someone else’s race or heritage. Sorry, but it’s true.
Elysia seems a bit IGNORANT about this whole race thing.
There’s a reason why pretty much all US born Asians (male or female) who marry “out†– marry whites and not blacks, non-white Hispanics, etc.
And Elysia sure has a limited and stereotypical view of Asian men, much less Filipino men.
First off, the Fil-Am males that Elysia seems to meet (the “nice†guys w/ “spiky†hair) hardly represents Asian-American males, much less Fil males.
Asian-Am males come in all shapes, sizes, styles and personalities.
Not only that – you have your “twinkies†or “bananas†who basically act no different from the typical white guy to total FOBs and everything in between.
And speaking about differing cultural backgrounds – what is there really to learn about “the average Joe white guy’s†cultural background, since we are totally enveloped by it in society as well as the media?
Heck, there would be more interesting cultural differences/new experiences if she dated a FOB from say, Korea or Japan – not to mention she could easily get the same experience dating a total “twinkieâ€.
Furthermore, how would Elysia like it if people generalized Filipino girls like she did w/ Fil guys? (There are plenty of generalizations about Fil girls being “submissiveâ€, “knowing how to take care of a man†or being “boring/sexually repressedâ€, etc.)
Basically, Elysia is just using stereotypes (based on limited personal experiences and what the media perpetuates) to “justify†her so-called preference.
This is NO DIFFERENT from Fil women in the Philippines who seek out Western (well, white) husbands b/c they think WMs are “sweetâ€, “nice†and “caring†and not the total cheaters/rascals that they think Fil men are (heck, unlike Elysia’s mother, there are Fil mothers who tell their daughters to seek out a WM b/c Fil men are cheaters, players, etc.).
Funny how the exact SAME two groups of people have totally OPPOSITE stereotypes – where WMs are seen as having the SAME stereotype (among certain women in the Philippines) as Elysia sees Fil men.
Now, I’m hardly saying that Elysia should date just Fil or Asian guys. Just don’t peg all Asian guys (much less Fil guys) in the same, narrow boat.
After all, I’m sure Elysia doesn’t like it when people grossly characterize Fil women as being “submissiveâ€, “catering to menâ€, “easyâ€, “boringâ€, etc.
Is there a difference between being “racially aware” and “racist”? If you go by today’s standards of Political Correctness, then the answer is no. You are not supposed to notice race even exists! haha… But of course, that’s impossible (and stupid). Here is the actual, defacto difference, as evidenced by our mixed-cultural behavior: You are a racist if you generalize negative traits.
See, (a) nobody minds having *positive* traits generalized, like “all blacks are good dancers”, or “all jews are good at making money”, nobody ever complains about that. And (b) it’s always okay to make fun of white males (they have no rythym, they cannot play sports, they have no sense of humor and walk with a stick up their butt). But everything else is off-limits. Cross that line, and you are a racist.
I didn’t make this up. Just look around. That’s the way it goes.
When you take those negative traits for Whites into it’s proper context, they are not insults. Part of the White game is to give in to extending a certain amount of flattery as far as things that are not really deemed that important. Stating that White men can’t dance is not really an insult. In fact, part of the White ‘machismo’ takes pride in ‘not’ being a good dancer. It’s sort of like when a female thinks she’s insulting a male by telling him that he’s conceited. The word ‘conceited’ has a ‘negative’ connotation. However, 9 times out of 9, the female has made a huge blunder in her attempt at making an insult. Calling a male ‘conceited’ is merely implying that he has something to be conceited about. If she instead states that part of his anatomy looks funny, then she’s insulted him. Another example is when someone states that these White male posters revel in enjoying women of all races due to White privilege. In general, they don’t have a problem with that. However, when I made a parody about overweight aging White men, it hit a very sensitive nerve in one Poster here. All the references to his enjoying White privilege was apparently fine. After reading my parody, he had to make it known that he ‘worked out’ regularly. Another example of word sentiment and it’s context; when a given ethnic minority moves into a different country, he/she is an ‘immigrant’. When a White person moves to an Asian or Latin American country, he/she is an ‘expat’. The word expat has a negative connotation, in that it has implications of being unpatriotic, or even traitor-like. However, the word places the White person ‘above’ being a mere immigrant. Its well understood that the social status of an expat is ‘not’ that of a mere immigrant. In other words; who cares if it implies non patriotism? Now, the White man can’t play sports? That may be another issue altogether.
When you take those negative traits for Whites into it’s proper context, they are not insults. Part of the White game is to give in to extending a certain amount of flattery as far as things that are not really deemed that important. Stating that White men can’t dance is not really an insult. In fact, part of the White ‘machismo’ takes pride in ‘not’ being a good dancer. It’s sort of like when a female thinks she’s insulting a male by telling him that he’s conceited. The word ‘conceited’ has a ‘negative’ connotation. However, 9 times out of 9, the female has made a huge blunder in her attempt at making an insult. Calling a male ‘conceited’ is merely implying that he has something to be conceited about. If she instead states that part of his anatomy looks funny, then she’s insulted him. Another example is when someone states that these White male posters revel in enjoying women of all races due to White privilege. In general, they don’t have a problem with that. However, when I made a parody about overweight aging White men, it hit a very sensitive nerve in one Poster here. All the references to his enjoying White privilege was apparently fine. After reading my parody, he had to make it known that he ‘worked out’ regularly. Another example of word sentiment and it’s context; when a given ethnic minority moves into a different country, he/she is an ‘immigrant’. When a White person moves to an Asian or Latin American country, he/she is an ‘expat’. The word expat has a negative connotation, in that it has implications of being unpatriotic, or even traitor-like. However, the word places the White person ‘above’ being a mere immigrant. Its well understood that the social status of an expat is ‘not’ that of a mere immigrant. In other words; who cares if it implies non patriotism? Now, the White man can’t play sports? That may be another issue altogether.
Interesting observations, Lucas. You make a good point about the inversion of insults. I think what you’re saying happens often, although I also think it depends on the individual (ego) involved. Which is to say, I have a non-racist perspective about it 😉
I also found your point about “immigrant” vs “expat” interesting, because I never thought about that one before. I wonder: Do other cultures and languages show a similar division between the two words used for “them when they come here” and “us when we go there”?
racism?
Don’t know
-jaymie
To all readers, this article was written by someone who have no idea what she was talking about. Someone with identity crisis. Someone who claimed she knew her so-called ‘asian plus caucasian’ culture. hahahahhaha…..
You will be lucky to read this..because apparently someone is deleting comments they ‘dont like’. 😛
To make this article worst was Sun Fan, (God knows where she came from or what her origin is)the girl who was making all these childish remarks.
Living in a city where most of my colleagues are Caucasian and some of my buddies are what those brainless girls above called ‘white man’, i have always respect their culture. Although there is some occasional b@#t@$% and a#$h^&*.
Honestly, i was reading between lines as some of the remarks were too difficult for me to read on.
You girls are a disgrace to the Asian-American. Bleach yourself if you want to. Otherwise dont pretend that you know the Asian culture just because you know how to hold a chopstick properly or because you know how to take off your shoes before going into our house. And for God sake, stop calling yourself Asian. I feel really bad for your parents though 🙁
Grow up.
And what is with the ‘spiky hair’ thingy? My Caucasian friends have beard..i respect that..and i dont talk about their beard.
Ok 🙂 the bottom line is – the problem comes from you girls – not the Asian or Caucasian man.
You girls have no idea who you are. Look at the mirror..and u will see a pathetic brown-skin girl who speaks like American, eat with knife and chopstick, think like a kid, and probably full of STD.
Date whoever you want.Have sex with whoever you want. Further remark about Asian guy will just make you look more foolish. Ask yourself – how many Asian guy have you met in your life?
Cheers
To all readers, this article was written by someone who have no idea what she was talking about. Someone with identity crisis. Someone who claimed she knew her so-called ‘asian plus caucasian’ culture. hahahahhaha…..
You will be lucky to read this..because apparently someone is deleting comments they ‘dont like’. 😛
To make this article worst was Sun Fan, (God knows where she came from or what her origin is)the girl who was making all these childish remarks.
Living in a city where most of my colleagues are Caucasian and some of my buddies are what those brainless girls above called ‘white man’, i have always respect their culture. Although there is some occasional b@#t@$% and a#$h^&*.
Honestly, i was reading between lines as some of the remarks were too difficult for me to read on.
You girls are a disgrace to the Asian-American. Bleach yourself if you want to. Otherwise dont pretend that you know the Asian culture just because you know how to hold a chopstick properly or because you know how to take off your shoes before going into our house. And for God sake, stop calling yourself Asian. I feel really bad for your parents though 🙁
Grow up.
And what is with the ‘spiky hair’ thingy? My Caucasian friends have beard..i respect that..and i dont talk about their beard.
Ok 🙂 the bottom line is – the problem comes from you girls – not the Asian or Caucasian man.
You girls have no idea who you are. Look at the mirror..and u will see a pathetic brown-skin girl who speaks like American, eat with knife and chopstick, think like a kid, and probably full of STD.
Date whoever you want.Have sex with whoever you want. Further remark about Asian guy will just make you look more foolish. Ask yourself – how many Asian guy have you met in your life?
Cheers
First off, why do you need to go off and put asian guys down. You say all asian men are the same. Has it ever occured to you that all white men are all the same? Most white guys don’t even have a look except the same plain old boring look. They all wear t-shirts and flip flops. No matter what race, most marriages are the same. I know so many marriages where the husband is white and the marriage ends up in divorce and the reason for that was that the white male just didn’t know how to love her like she wanted to feel loved. Sure, you’ll be watching you’re soap operas and he’ll be watching his karate DVD’s, what do you think the white guy will be doing? watching the soap operas with you? of course not, he’ll be wanting you to get off the T.V. so he can watch his sports! Might as well mix it up and be a boring interracial couple.
I’m an African American female studying for a PhD in Forensics. I offer an objective opinion of what Elysia is trying to say. I think she is merely saying that she would like to date outside of her race to gain more experience about the varieties of men that are available. There is a strong possibility that she has been raised to only consider Asian men as dating options. I’m sensitive to the Asian culture that they would like to “keep it all within the cultural family.” I’m also aware of the fact in which she made her statements could be offensive to Asian men. Current research shows that a large number of Asian women are ignoring Asian men only to date caucasian men because of wealth, status, social ideas, ect. What we must understand is that we should not be offended by these occurrences but rather expand our own options. There is beauty and cultural connections in every race, we just have to be willing to explore them. I personally find Asian American men very attractive. Many of my educated Black sisters do, but Asian men may never know that because of their beliefs about Black people,stereotypes, family influences, etc. I understand that, but at the same time I’m hoping that we as people can put these differences behind us and learn to love past our colors because if not we’re likened to be some very disenfranchised people.
The problem is not quite as simple as you may believe. As a White male, I have an understanding that the White race has for decades carried a strong need of ‘racial’ empowerment. This has had a profound effect on racial relations in the U.S., as well as globally. In American domestic racial relations, the White race has utilized it’s advantage through being the ‘majority’ (i.e., in control). In global racial relations, in terms of things like importing pop-culture, if one looks at the world being a movie, the role of producer/director has been submitted to the White race. Whenever the main character in a movie is also the producer and/or director, their character assumes full control of on-screen heroics (wins every fight, shows the most bravado, compassion, etc.). Although many non-White nations have thought they’ve only given an inch to the Western or White dominated nations (importation of Hollywood movies, etc.), these White nations have taken the full mile. The more passive resolution of self introspection is just not going to do much for the very real ‘racial’ problem that exists.
BTW, the paper is written by a white woman who is a PHD professor who specializes in Asian American studies. She is a professor at University of California Riverside. This paper answered a lot of questions about this debate here and the article above. The paper is an academic research paper. The funny thing is most people here don’t get it, but she sees things as plain as day and she is not even Asian.
http://www.allacademic.com…
Hello, I’ve been reading here and there on your heated debates… I find it very informative and empowering…!
I personally feel sad about being a Filipino male… and angry as well but only for the right reasons and NOT based on hate… Unfortunately, I really believed for a long time that Asian men are the most unwanted men in the world…
This belief, so far, represents me as a living proof…I’ve never EVER been able to have any confidence in myself and I still don’t… But I do my best to look like I have confidence… Still, coming home alone everyday ever since can really take its toll on a person…
So if you’re like me, I just want to say that you’re not alone…
By the way, I’m a sweet and silly person and I have best friends who are white, so hate is not the way…
Dude your Filipino, not asian.
Dude, did you read the article? It relates to my nationality… But it is true that I’m only Asian by geography…
I’m an Asian male, and I think it works the other way as well. I’ve dated more non-Asian girls than Asian ones, not necessarily because I find Asian girls undesirable, but because I feel that there’s nothing I can learn from them. It’s probably a faulty assumption I’m making, but I feel that in a caucasian-dominated social environment, it’s easy to subject ourselves to subtle effects of racism. I think of the Asian female as obedient, respectful, etc. All “yang” characteristics that I’m not too fond of in a girl… perhaps it’s been my upbringing here in the states, but I find a girl who can take care of herself and who is independent to be much more attractive. And for whatever reason, whether it’s justified of not, I just don’t see it in most Asian girls. I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong to date outside of your race, but I think many of my Asian female friends, have dismissed dating Asian males because they see the Asian males are socially inferior… In school, it might be “Asians guys are smart, not cool”, and in the corporate world it might be, “Asian guys work hard, they’ll never make it to the top.” I think it’s unfortunately that we’ve let these racial stereotypes affect our perception of ourselves. And I think until we address it as a whole, society-wide, these stereotypes will never go away.
Eck, isn’t it interesting how Elysia can predict the future? Apparently she knows that she’ll be watching her soap operas on youtube and she knows that she’ll have five kids. I can’t believe this magazine which is suppose to ‘connect asian american women’ got her as a writer. If she married Leonard, obviously she would’ve gave him what HE desires. No sex, let him watch his karate movies, and of course provide 5 kids. Hun, I’m pretty sure you can control yourself with the children since it’s coming from your vagina, unless you really need the sex.
This is my opinion, sounds like she dated him when she was very young. Young = Naive, don’t know crap.
The whole every asian guy looking the same, then why didn’t YOU, MS. BANDONG TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MAN? This really shows how you are, weak and absolutely pathetic.
Oh, BTW, Filipinos are Asians.
Guys, think about it, other than, “Harold,” who still acts stereo typical, can you name one Asian guy on film or television who does not do martial arts or has a booger hanging out of his nose. We, as a race and gender, are not represented though we buy what we think looks good and by that I mean what is marketed to the White guy.
She cheated on Leonard. She forgot to mention that.
When I read your comment, I almost cried. I’m a Black, Asian & White female & my grandfather is Asian. Asian men are so sexy and smart, I really admire them because you are caring and well respected men. I’ve dated black & white men, but they have nothing over Asian men. My friend is fillipino and he is the most handsome man that I’ve ever met, plus he is smart and so sweet, I will never date another black or white man, because they don’t treat women better then Asian men. Many non-Asian women are now seeing that Asian men are HOT!!! and better family men as well, so please, keep the faith, because a nice woman is out there for you okay!!!
There’s nothing wrong with a man wearing crosses and crucifixes. It only makes him a God fearing man and that’s good. Anyway, you are right, Asian guys are all represented through a stereotype in all American movies but that because their fighting skills are so amazing!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9142171923095749295 This explains why asian girls want to be white.
why do i get the feeling this article was written by a white guy. i know lots of filipinos and none of them take their shoes off when they go inside someones house.
I can definitely tell you that this was definitely written by Elysia. A very self-centered person who only wants to date white guys for their money. The things she has done to guys and her friends will eventually come back to her. As far as the shoes thing, I have no clue what that crap is about. My filipino friends don’t take their shoes off. She needs help.
As an asian male, I have to say, god must be a racist. I think he hates asian men. To start, I guess I’m not your typical asian male — I’m tall 5’11, I work out – co-captain of my basketball team, have a good job, my own place in nyc, good looking, smart (pursuing my masters)I can crack witty jokes to make any girl laugh, and I’m great in bed (my wife can attest to that). Unfortunately, a lot of my asian male counterparts are sadly deficient in one way or another. I would say a good number are either shorter than me, too geeky, gay, cheap, introverted, or act like jerks and idiots. I feel that the korean men are doing better than most other types of asian males in terms of setting a higher standard for themselves, and of course there are the atypical chinese guys who are studly, intelligent, GQ type, gentlemen. However, it saddens me to see most asian males fail the test. I used to hate asian women dating white men, but before anything can change, I think asian men in general need to pick it up.
To my fellow asian brothers, here are some tips for you:
1. Treat your women right.. for those who can play, quit being playas.
2. Work out, eat right.
3. Work hard at excelling at work and at school, but don’t look or dress like a geek.
4. Be kind to your fellow asian brothers.. we’re all asian.. korean, chinese, filipino – so quit hating.
5. Be dynamic.. its cool to read your manga, and drive your hondas, sing your gay kareoke songs, but be more.. do other things outside your comfort zone.
6. Be social, go out, learn to crack jokes, be more outspoken.
Your right, I’m filipino and I dont take my shoes off.
WOW! I’m Asian and I never dated an Asian man. Asian men don’t find me attractive. African Americans and Spanish men are the ones who find me attractive, so what does that say about me! God is not racist to men or women. I suppose we go with the flow. We meet the people who are in our paths.
Asian men need to stop feeling sorry for themselves and step it up. I know tons of Asian men dating hot white girls. Their biggest attraction -CONFIDENCE! I’m not saying the white girl is the trophy, but if they’re attracting the white women, then you can attract every other race under the sun.
that was brutal to read but i can understand not wanting to be trapt in a marriage that is just like your parents. i love my parents but their marriage is broke and passionless.
Join the military if you lack self confidence, Not im trying to recuite you guys but I used to be a nerdy, scared guy in highschool and I will piss my pants in the thought of asking a girl out, however over my 8 years in the service I learn many thing, I become more self confidence…I had now a lot of experince in dating, thanks from my fellow brothers and arms… Just to say..It doesn’t matter what race we are, it’s the fact that we lose to others race because we are scared of what will happened..BE MORE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE!! AND GET SOME!!!
YUp because Pinoys is Pacific Islanders hahaha
The whole take your shoes off is probably regionally relevant. In Canada we all take our shoes off when we enter a home – after all we get snow and who wants somebody to track that crap all over your carpet.
I’ve gone all ways actually – when I was in high school I was with both asian and white girls. As I got older I dated asian and white men. I’ll always be attracted to asians but I understand that you can’t miss great opportunities relationship wise.
The fact that the author seems to make us sound as if we (asian/filipino males) are all boring is kind of a lame excuse that are regular pitfalls for any relationship. Sorry to say but my white friends who are my age and were big adventurers in their youth are like the “older” married couple that she describes, it’s just an age thing.
Sorry to say but after you have kids and have to cart them around to all their activities, make dinner, do laundry and prepare the next days things you cherish the little amount of alone time you have – it doesn’t mean you aren’t loveless – it means you just want time for you.
As for the white guy she was dating – he sounds like a loser – why whine about something as small as taking off your shoes?
On a funnier note – when was in high school my mom would always tell me:
“Why are going out with white girls, they’re dirty. Date a filipino girl instead, they are nice.”
When I came out in University this is what she said after I introduced her to my filipino boyfriend:
“Why are you going out with a filipino boy? They’re dirty – date a white boy, they’re nicer and have money” lol.
Your stereotypes about Filipinos are unfamiliar to me — we don’t remove our shoes at home (at least, not in the city — you must be from the boonies), and those filipino men are far from being as obedient as puppy dogs. They’re quite spoiled and are used to being served hand and foot, hopefully, not by their wives, but by their maids.
I am a hot eastern – european girl..I am white and I am blond but I don’t really care about white guys. I have a friend who is asian,he is wonderful. He is damn sexy, wears nice clothes, and actually knows how to treat a woman. He is a man and acts manly. (men sometimes forget about that)I love him. He is something different. Yes, and he is a master in martial arts , why some of you criticize that, If it is so easy , why aren’t you a master? I love it about him because I know he is ABLE to protect me but not run away like many white men do or take out a gun like Africo-Americans tend to do. Asian guys are VERY cute ,sexy and handsome AND smart. They have and know life skills which guys here in the US, I mean whites, do not know. This is awful if the guy is only ‘book’ smart.
The guy (Asian)I like is shorter than I. But does it really matter ? If you love the person for who he is ,not for his physical appearance, then the relationship would be more successful. If you concentrate more on mutual gains but not on mutual disrespect and finding faults, stupid reason for breakup or constant fights THAN maybe you even will stop thinking about race. Race has COMPLETELY NOTHING to do with the success of love. When I dated an indian guy, after a while I even was not noticing that he is actually very dark. It was because I was not concentrated on race but on the fact that I feel good with him.
So girls and guys if you are not with the right person ,do not say it’s about race, do not hate each other. It would be always wrong until you find ‘the one’ even if he/she is an alien out of space.
All Asian men, you are cool!
My respect to you guys!!!!
actully asians do take their shoes off in their homes..
welll we do on guam..
Interesting! I’m Asian and I’ve never dated any Asian guy either. I think it didn;t interest me either and I think most Asian guys are too quiet and shy!
I have been seeing this Asian man at the local Gym…He is approx. 38 and I am 24…he doesn’t know my age but he clearly knows that I am much younger than him. We have been talking forever…for the past 8 months. At first I knew strictly nothing about him…but then time unfolded it and we started sharing things. The first time we went out everything went like a charm but there was something in the past few weeks that came on. I think this guy had just broken up with his ex and wasnt ready to move on. Nonetheless, he continued talking to me and coming towards me keeping in touch and I guess keeping me by. Anyhow…it’s been a few days…and until then the whole ex-girlfriend theory was just an assumption I had made which would explain why it was taking him so long to get to me. So a few days ago we were talking about hobbies and he mentioned his girlfriend…which he immediately corrected by saying his ex-girlfriend…it was like a stutter…anyhow…do you guys think that he isn’t over his ex yet???
Just get it out in the open. We Asian men don’t want anything to do with shallow, self-hating, ashamed-of-their-own-race Asian women either.
What the f***?! Filipinos don take their shoes off when they enter their house? Is this woman for real? The Japanese and Koreans do that, well maybe some of them dont either, but Ive never heard or seen Filipinos take their shoes off, believe me, i know, Im the by product of having a Irish Father and Filipina Mother, in my 44 years of living on planet earth with two houses both in Manila and Davao, I have never ever seen any of the sort. Maybe in the good old days when the poor filipinos in the boondocks out in the sticks living in nippa hut homes and houses on bamboo stilts they did that, but that would have been some 60 – 70 years ago when the Philippines was highly rural! They used to take their shoes off to dry their feet and give their feet relief from being in the fields planting rice and even then they didnt wear shoes when they planted rice as that would not make sense as you get stuck in the mud, so i really dont know where her taking off the shoes came from, that is so japanesey and Korean and Filipinos are very western, even in places like Manila and Cebu you see pairings of caucasian women and Filipino men now and then and why would this be a surprise, even me Im the by product of inter racial marriage, let me remind people on here that the Republic of the Philippines is perhaps the most mixed people in Asia in terms of ancestry with Spanish mixes for some 300+ years, Americans, Japanese, Chinese and more recently the Koreans, Britons, Germans, Italians, French, Middle Eastern and the Russians are coming over too and to say melting pot is almost accurate. If youve been to Manila and Cebu, you will find Greek, Italian, French, Spanish, Cuban, Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Mongolian, Turkish restaurants,, bars and even English Pubs along side local Filipino restaurants, so I love the Philippines and i love being Filipino, ambut lang asa ka gikan day! Pero, mixed nga tao ako and prou of it!
first of all Self-confidence can be achieve in a variety of ways. I got my share from competitive sports. I totally second what you said “be proud of who you are” because if you are not who is going to…
Self confidence is key in both men and women. It will give you the world. Just ask me.
Self Confidence: Indeed, it is most assuredly vital to a successful career, especially any facet of the public domain (ie entertainment, sports, politics, etc).
When I was a child, I excelled in sports, well beyond most other children my age. Looking back, I can remember why I was good at what I was doing: I knew I could do it, so I did. Something along the way happens to us all, and we have a choice to make: we either hold on to that confidence, rise up, and overcome so that we can attain our full potential, or we can allow ourselves to settle for less – or worse – we can allow others to beat us down so that we begin to believe something different: that perhaps we really are just dreamers who could never attain that life we used to want.
The longer we allow ourselves to walk that road of surrender, the further away we get from anything resembling confidence, and the harder it becomes to ever again retake our confidence and self-esteem. Never give up!
I realize this may be a bit “off topic” but it was on my mind to share. : )
Listen lady, most guys are either nice or assholes.
If you want a white or black asshole who will beg you to let him cum on your face and treat you like dirt. Go ahead, it’s a free country. So by all means fuck up your life.
I’m not your “typical Asian guy.” I have long hair, I’m athletic, and have a handsome face. I’m not good at Math, I’m failing college Biology. But I am a theater major after all.
My girlfriend’s Black and has been stepped on by assholes her whole life. To her, a nice guy was quite refreshing for a change.
Really? Well, I live in America in an all-Filipino neighborhood, and we get hit on the head if we don’t take off our shoes. It’s a sign of respect, I guess.
In addition, taking off your shoes isn’t just an Asian thing. It’s also practiced in European countries.
………….Filipinos do take their shoes off when they go inside the house. All the ones who don’t are washed out by North American culture.
I’m second generation, born in Canada, but my parents are born in the Philippines and were brought here by my grandparents. I’m always shocked whenever non-Asians come in my house with their shoes on and tracking it all inside. I’m even more shocked when I see them lie on the bed with their shoes on… wtf?
I’m a Filipino girl. I like Asian guys in general, in terms of physical attraction. Sometimes I like white guys. I do not tend to be physically attracted to brown men or black men, but I would base my relationship on the man’s personality and circumstances, not race, regardless of my physical pref.
I’ve noticed that the qualities that Asian women say they want most are usually found in Asian men and Black men.
Personal experience…Asian women want
-polite
-hardworking
-taller than average
-muscular
-confident
-“cool”
-stable
-forceful but not controlling etc.
-intelligent but not nerdy
I’m not saying white men don’t have these traits but it seems that Asian and Black male stereotypes if you combine them together, include all of the above listed traits. No this doesn’t mean every Asian woman wants Tiger Woods (before the scandal)..but…the things Asian women claim to want that they don’t think Asian men provide are usually qualities more often seen in black men (to a greater degree) than white men.
The best analogy is a man that is a billionaire and says he wants to have the fastest sports car around. He goes out and buys a Rolls Royce Ghost instead of a Bugatti Veyron even though both are available to him and money is not an issue with regards to any expenses incurred. The Rolls is a nice ride and it is no slouch but if you claim to want speed…get the Bugatti.
I agree except for the last part. IMO, Black women that have their head on straight have higher standards than white women.
Honestly, I think more Asian men should date black women. Black women don’t mind letting a man be the head of a household if he knows what he is doing. I might be a black male, but I can’t figure out why that relationship doesn’t grow in popularity.
I have a Filipino wife that I worship and adore. We now have the custom of taking the shoes off. And it has spread to the rest of my South Alabama family.
When we came to visit my mom the first time, she used the “Good Towels” in the bath room. I explained they were there ” for show” and we did not use them. That it was our custom. She said ” That’s a dumb custom! Of course it is and me and mom had a large laugh about our Dumb custom. The nice towels are for guest. She was not a guest, but family.
Good story. These are very common stories among the blending of Asian and Caucasian families.
Why do Asian families take off their shoes?
So the carpet won’t get dirty! It’s less much of respect than keeping the house clean!
You sound like a low life.
indeed he is
i love his hair lol 😉
lol the first thing my korean bf told me before i met hes parents is to take my shoes off before entering hes parents house.
thanks 😀
lol hes not my 1st asian bf i have dated 2 other asians before him and im proud of that 😉
I don’t blame you. I think Rain is one of the hottest guys on the planet.
wow a beautiful blonde dating an asian guy…I bet the men on this site will rejoice!
because it shows more respect….
This opinion piece is flawed in so many ways based on poorly fleshed out logic it’s almost not even worth commenting on, but since I’m always looking for a good debate here’s my take.
Ok so the author has stated that her past relationships with “Asian” guys were boring and predicable….ok…..so basically she ASSumes that dating non-Asians will always be less predicable and boring?…lol. So what happens when you’ve puppy trained your new non-Asian boyfriend with all there is to know eventually reaching the same point of being obedient and boring? What will she do then? Drop that boyfriend and find another one so she could train another one all over again? Seriously?
On to the next point, she says that they all had the same “Asian” look with spiked hair and whatnot….lol…well that is both their choice and her fault for choosing that stereotypical “Asian” look to date. There are many Asian guys that don’t rock that stereotypical “Asian” look…but maybe those guys are not interested in Asian girls like herself? Who knows? The point is it is her fault for choosing those types of stereotypical Asian guys so stop whining. Instead of pointing the finger at Asian guys and making generalization she should look at herself and why she chooses stereotypical looking Asians instead of non-stereotypical ones….they do exist…lol.
With regards to taking off shoes when entering an Asian household, it is basically an old and outdated tradition that, depending on the family, holds various levels of value. Some families are anal about this while some don’t really care. Personally in my home we wear shoes or slippers in the house because the floors are either ceramic tile or hardwood so it’s easy to clean therefore we as well as guests do not need to leave shoes/slippers at the doors…lol….yes I’m Asian.
Finally as with everything in life what one prefers varies from person to person which is perfectly ok. What’s NOT ok is to stereotype Asians as being boring and blaming them for YOUR choices and personal issues. I mean seriously.
Just for sh*ts and giggles…if one day I were to get bored of dating only Caucasian girls who “stereotypically” party, drank and had sex all the time and wanted something else, I’d be pretty damn stupid/ignorant to claim Caucasian girls as being so predictable and boring…
I am a Filipino man that has been pinched, punched, yelled at, and hit with objects as a child by close relatives that are women because I WAS NOT A PUPPY DOG! But I can tell you this, there are those that complied to this formula for ONE reason.
RELIGION… I had annoying “aunties” who I didn’t even fucking know, who would lecture me about being obedient because god is watching. Well, apparently god is selective with whom he watches. He doesn’t watch some of my Pinay relatives or friends that are pretty much practice a double standard.
My favorite one is when a pinay girl would tell me that it is good to attend church and that I am doing the right thing by not going out, don’t do drugs, and staying out of trouble. Then my white friend would give me the gory details about how he banged her like a slut the other night while they smoked out all night long.
Anyway, Filipino women tend to take a lead role vocally in the house. It is not necessarily the mother, but ALL the women who are linked somehow. Boys are taught at a young age that we are suppose to be obedient and pray all the time. “Aunies” also cry with devotion while praying too. This adds for the dramatics that way it seems more convincing.
Then you wonder about the fathers. Well, they are too busy working and trying to make the most out of a life in an environment not groomed of their own origins. My uncle tells me about the racial divide in the work place. Even though he is one of the best in his craft, the interest of those in power will always have their needs fulfilled first behind closed doors. But I guess those factors are being ignored, or rather disregarded, by these Asian women that resent Asian men.
“Titas” also name their boys Jonathan, Johnville, Benjamin, Richard, Roderick, Jason, Joseph, and so on.Do you see a pattern? Many of these boys don’t have a short version of their names. So what is the point? There are already rules that start with correctly reciting their names. All of those nicknames Elysia mentioned are exclusive to people in the Philippines.
Basically, religion is the best tool of control for the masses. And these women know that. But as men, we are taught to follow this practice since god will destroy us with one false move and we always have to be NICE to everyone. But I have a solution for that. It is called Atheism. And there is an increasing amount of Filipino men that are silently joining the club. Our minds have become more independent and intelligent. We are still decent people. But we are seeing the light and facing a whole new outlook confidently. Just don’t lose faith in us. 😉
This post is a nightmare for Asian men everywhere. I’m full Asian (Chinese) and I have a personality. Oh but I’m sorry, I knew we weren’t supposed to. I’m not studying business or medicine. My dad told me to go to Yale and I told him to fuck off. I’m a filmmaker, I was the most popular kid in my white suburban high school, I was among the smartest and the funniest, I’m musical and play 6 instruments one of them are the violin. I’m politically liberal, I go to the gym and lift more than half the fat asses that are there. My hair is never gelled or spikey, it’s thick, rich, jet black, has silver strands, and every one asks me for advice on their own hair. I’m a feminist, a Trekkie, an atheist, and I’m gay. I’ve been with white, black, Asian, Hispanic, and Arab men and all of them intellectuals. Once I made out with 2 girls at a party to prove that I’m just as game as my stupid white friends. Yes, I’m willing to do almost anything just to make a point to those fucking racists out there who simply refuse to see me as anything but a loveless, thoughtless Asian man. I shouldn’t have to prove myself, but I rise to the challenge anyway and I beat people at their own silly games.
I personally resent anyone and everyone, especially critical Asian women, who constantly pigeon-hole Asian-AMERICAN men as some sort of robot who are trained to do a list of things that his parents gave him. But sorry, you’re not a woman, you’re a girl, who’s obviously not ready to put down the ideas she got from Seventeen magazine ten fucking years ago. Asian men are not geeks, outcasts, or shy fucks. No, I knew Asian men who were victimized by stereotypes in that way but they laughed at you secretly, joked about how dumb you were, and didn’t envy you in any way. The only reason they didn’t call you out to your face was because they didn’t want to embarrass you. We make the most money even in America, we run the businesses, and yeah we pride ourselves on holding a family together (news flash- it’s a GOOD thing that we do) and soon we will run the world’s media outlets.
I suggest anyone reading this ridiculously banal article, which apparently shows up on the first page of google searches, to educate yourselves on real Asian men and not the ones this girl has only been able to attract as her company. Go travel, be open-minded, and actually befriend Asians. I don’t care if this post was about YOUR interracial dating life. You brushed off Asian men as “trained puppy dogs” and thought your readers would consider it trivially true. You deserve to be criticized for your irresponsible and inaccurate comments.
Being Asian in this business is something you have to consider, because sometimes people aren’t as open. They’ll say, I can’t see you with a Caucasian person.
Wow Elysia, very prejudice. How can you even say that most asian men are the same? You must be looking in the same areas. What self-respecting asain would wear Timberlands with a gold chain anyway? And if you are meeting men with gold chains…. Perhaps you are digging too shallow if you know what I mean
You don’t trek shit into their home. It’s both cleaner when the family does it and more respectful when a guest comes in.
Don’t blame her. She’s just being a rebellious child
Apparently you haven’t dated many asian guys. There are CULTURE DRIVEN similarities in THE MAJORITY of asian guys. I love this culture, I far prefer it over the ignorant other races she speaks of. I prefer a man who is nice, myself. I’m Caucasian. I’ve dated and been friends with a SHITLOAD of asian males. They pretty much all date the same. Of COURSE there are exceptions, but they have CULTURES which are similiar and motivate them to act a certain way during courtship.
ITS CULTURAL. Kind of like dinner and a movie to a white guy.
So yes, they are mostly always the same. Very commited, even if they dont feel compatibility, they will keep going, 3 year relationships are average for them.
Again, there are exceptions to EVERY rule, but in this case, I can verify from an outside perspective, that of the thousands of FOBS, ABAs I’ve known and/or dated/and/or been friends with, this is TRUE.
I am also a blonde and love asian guys.
You think this makes you open minded and progressive, but really you are just spitting on your father, brothers, and all other white men.
I can tell you are just an air headed blonde.
WTF? Well there must be something so fucked up with filipino-americans or americans in general. This self-hating slut proves it. I live in manila and I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED the “taking-the-shoes-off” custom in my whole life. You people have to understand that not all filipinos in america are from manila. Most of them actually originate from the provinces here which have strict cultures. And I’ve noticed that filipinos here in manila look more attractive than filipinos in america. Trust me. you’d have to come here to know and realize that we are the melting pot of diverse cultures, customs, race and physical features. We’re even much more tolerant with homosexuality than america itself. so much for prejudice and stereotyping. and by the way, i’m good-looking and my hairstyle is not spikey. fashion here is a cross between european, american and oriental-asian. To top it off, guys from manila are confident, gentlemen, self-aware, fashionable, flirty, sociable, party-going and streetsmart. And we speak english better than other asian countries
Really?? I can’t say that I had a great experience with working with filipinoo men. The guy I had an experience with was completely incompetent, an instigator, back stabber, rude, nosy as hell, presumptuous, obnoxious and a complete jerk! However, you can never stereotype, right?? That was only one horrendous past encounter and I have not found that to be the case going forward, thank god! If nothing else, it really makes you appreciate the finer people in life. I learned from it and so should you. I wouldn’t hold my breath for a tremendous “spike” in the demand for filippino men, however. Move on to something you can actually control. Hot men are synonymous with Italian, Latin, British, German etc. Did I say British?? 🙂 Tall, dark, handsome and well endowed. You get the drift.
I’m all pimped out now ready to capture a Filipino girl’s heart. I mostly like them because they seem to have an extra swivel joint in their hips so they don’t have to hover when riding the rod….they just get down on it and rock.
My pre-conceived notion had nothing to do with removing footwear when entering the parent’s fish fry shack, but rather sometime in the future you had to ante up a refrigerator before asking for her hand in marriage and eternal riding the pony.
I think there is a cheap Danby on sale, so who wants to get married…..the line forms to the left…..
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I am quite certain I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
YUE HAVE EXXACTLY 30 SECONDS TO PRODUCE A PONY OR THIS #@&ING PARTY IS OVER!! AND NOT ONE OF THOSE PLOW HORSES=I WANT A THOROUGHBRED!! 🙂
PONY ROCK
29,28,27,26,25,24…..am I too late? Couldn’t find the Danby….will a bag of ice do?
This is ‘Leonard’. I hope karma bites you in your skanky ass. I know it will.
I don’t even touch an Asian girl who dated interacially but I differ in opinion if you’re a man, and I am a man and it’s my right to date whoever I want. Plus, I am hot and got a lot of option in dating whoever I want…
CHAU VAN TRUONG…
And its my right to fuck many of your lovely asian women.
Excellent post however I was wanting to know if you could
write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Bless you!
Talk about internalized racism
Tough subject to broach, and I thank you for sharing. Individual pairing choices are easily justifiable on a no racial basis, but the numbers across the board will give a good indication of whether there is a racial component underlying partner selection – is this culture operating in a racist fashion? Yes. Are you? Probably not in any intentional way, the same way I’m not when I’m dating white women. Anyway, take care all. .check out my thoughts in more detail…. http://bigasianpackage.wordpress.com