Who is that Asian Man?
“There’s the bumbling immigrant who speaks broken English. Then there’s the computer nerd that’s way too passive and let’s people run over him all the time. How about the violent gangster wanna-be who doesn’t practice martial arts out of defense but out of being a bad ass? Or what about the little brother that’s always, always super friendly but can never get a date?”
This is how society has depicted the Asian-American male through the overly embellished world of entertainment and media. The ironic thing about all of these stereotypical categories is that I’m none of these, and I’m an Asian-American man. Granted – “ I’m not somebody who generalizes nor can I speak for all 6 million Asian-American men in the United States, however, I am someone that has a strong voice, and this is what needs to be heard. Not only do these stereotypes of the Asian-American male need to be broken, but there needs to be a forefront of better qualities that distinguish this race of a man as the chivalrous romantic. Some women have somehow fallen into this understanding that the Asian-American man can only level off as a friend, but nothing more. It’s even become an ideal rigidly abided by some Asian-American women! When did the memo on how to perceive an Asian-American man get passed out? I’m positive I didn’t get one and I know about 6 million other men who missed it too.
Although it may sting a bit to have an Asian-American women say to your face that she doesn’t date “Asian guys,” well the only thing you should think is – “ “your loss.” If anything, she’s the one that’s limiting herself from finding the “right guy.”
My point of reference will be dated from a Generation X perspective, with a twist of Generation Y logic. From as far back as I can remember, besides any relation to martial arts, my only exposure to the Asian-American man in the media came through syndication television and the now iconic-80’s movies. I’m sure many of you are familiar with Arnold from Happy Days (Pat Morita), Long Duck Dong, and Tatoo from Fantasy Island (Herve Villechaize had shades of Filipino). How was I suppose to look up to these comedic, supporting roles that were no where close to playing into a strong, stand-up Asian-American male? Don’t get me wrong – “ Bruce Lee as the Green Hornet and Mr. Miyagi were great, but I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve gone to the cliché crane-kick or kung-fu stance to get a rise out of people. And then came the lovable Takashi from Revenge of the Nerds, which completely threw our whole persona to a laughable stature. Who would take us seriously after characters like these were consistently introduced as the Asian or Asian-American male in the United States?
Unfortunately this has somehow carried over into today’s society, but luckily talented, young Asian-American male actors and musicians have taken the measurements to not feed into these stereotypes. Applause to gentlemen like Roger Fan, Sung Kang, John Cho, Kal Penn and yes, even Jin – “ these men have addressed the issue and assist in not being pigeon-holed. Slowly the face of the true Asian-American man has chipped away the disgusting impersonation done by Mickey Rooney in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” but sadly it’s still not enough. When mom told us to not believe everything we see on TV – “ unsurprisingly, not everyone listened. Although it may be watered down in this era, these embellished characteristics are still affixed to the Asian-American male in the United States.
And on that sympathetic note, we have our “Dear Abbey” (or Dear Mari, for the Asiance Magazine) which writes – “ “I’m an Asian-American man living in a non-Asian-American world. Dating doesn’t seem to be my forte around this neck of the world. Should I just use my Americanized mojo to grab a wife-to-be back from the land of my parents? Or should I confine myself to my bedroom and wait for the next Miss Love-them-Asian-Guys to come around? Sincerely – “ Problematic Asian-American Man.”
as an Asian-American male, we’ve been characterized in an incorrect sense for too long. A revolution is slowly evolving and if we can stand-up by not feeding into these stereotypes, then there will be a new face created for the Asian-American man.
First, let’s focus on the cry of this letter. If you’re an Asian-American male, or are friends with them, does this sound familiar to you? If so – “ the only advice I’d like to give is to “move forward.” There are so, SO MANY women out there that no matter what race they are, even if they’re within your own Asian ethnicity, just let it go. Although it may sting a bit to have an Asian-American women say to your face that she doesn’t date “Asian guys,” well the only thing you should think is – “ “your loss.” If anything, she’s the one that’s limiting herself from finding the “right guy.” As far as dating is concerned from an Asian-American male viewpoint, we need to carry ourselves with the uttermost confidence that makes us cooler than cool. If this is already exemplified, then it may be a matter of personality traits. Do you come off as a Casanova? Have you balanced the qualities of being a stand-up man while still conveying compassion to the lovely lady?
The one thing that I’m sure throws a woman off is how we travel in packs. I’m not saying you can’t have fun with your friends and they just happen to be all the same race – “ what I’m saying is separate yourself from the bunch. Make yourself stand out by approaching her alone because it’s gutsy, it’s cool, and it’s less intimidating. Asian-Americans have been stereotypically deemed as passive and push-overs. This is another assumption that must be broken and not only would you be defying society, but you’ll probably get a date out of it as well. One thing that should be true for Asian-Americans is that we’re trendsetters. Enough said.
Therefore, as an Asian-American male, we’ve been characterized in an incorrect sense for too long. A revolution is slowly evolving and if we can stand-up by not feeding into these stereotypes, then there will be a new face created for the Asian-American man. A surge of confidence, pride, and understanding can boost posture up a level to which not only women will pick-up, but society as a whole. As for the Asian-American woman looking at the Asian-American man, well we live in a world of opinions and preferences. This was mine – “ what’s yours?
Jonald Reyes is a writer & filmmaker located in Chicago, IL. He is currently promoting his documentary film, “That Asian Thing” – www.thatasianthing.com.
interesting post…i feel like its all about where your world resides. is it in actuality like this in a majority of the US where asian american men dont get the women? im an asian american woman in an awesome relationship with an asian american man. i only date asian men. and as for him, im his first asian gal, he previously gone out with other women of various ethnicities. and in college i was around a lot of asians — where asian men didn’t really seem to have a problem finding dates and girlfriends.
the ones who had trouble were more of a lack of confidence rather than the color of their skin. thats just my humble opinion.
the media’s portrayal of asian american men, your right, is not at all a real depiction. its just a generalized stereotype.
Wow, something on Asiance that actually gives the Asian male a voice…. finally. Next step is to get some actual cool Asian males in your photo shoots.
Just miss his comments.
I’m here! Will be going through the new issue to make my comments..
Glad your here dude, and surprised that you did not leave a comment. Also don’t you love the new video feeds on this page. Summercusp, 21 years old. Is this there new promotion to bring more whitey’s into this site. Wow, live videochat. Asiance Magazine sure knows how to bring in the creeps.
I’ll be a guy if you want me to. Where are the video feeds? I don’t see any..Asiance finally gets a guy with enough cajones to write an article and you’re still not happy..Tool!
Sun Fan,you’re one creepy ass white boy with an Asian fetish. So pathetic! HAHAHA!
I was married to a beautiful Black woman for 10 years until her death from cancer. When my parents found out about us they freaked. I tried to tell them that in the racist eurocentric world we live in, the enduring image is that Asian women belong to white men. When I was in college, there were few Asian women who did’nt go with white guys. I think the WMAF couple is now the norm. I am sure there were AF’s out there who I could have shared my life with. I just did’nt want to wait till I am 80! As for AF’s who never considered AM’s, just remember that White men are the most priveleged people on earth and will drop you in a second for that blond they miss.
This paper was written by a white PHD professor from UC Riverside. It is good reading on gender racism and stereotyping among Asian Americans.
Judge for yourself.
http://www.allacademic.com/meta/p_mla_apa_research_citation/1/0/9/4/3/p109437_index.html
Gender racism and stereotyping is a serious issue in the Asian American community. It is time some of us deal with it rather trying to dismiss or mask it.
Cool asian male…ha! There’s an oxymoron for ya.
“The one thing that I’m sure throws a woman off is how we travel in packs. I’m not saying you can’t have fun with your friends and they just happen to be all the same race – “ what I’m saying is separate yourself from the bunch”
Like White people don’t travel in packs?! In Asia, when a white person see’s another white person they say hi, especially if they’re of the opposite gender. In N.A. Asians will pretend each other don’t exsist fearing the “Asians only stick together syndrome” – kind of hyporcritical.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9142171923095749295
Great documentary explaining why Asian women want to be white. please watch it and tell me what you think.
you are referring to. None of us here want to be white.
Asian want to be white:
they rather date white guys, they put down asian guys, they wear blue contacts (caucasian feature), the get eyelid surgery (caucasian feature), they bleach their skin (caucasian feature), they dye their hair brown/blond (caucasian feature), etc, etc.
Hi, I’m the super friendly type that no one likes… I wish it wasn’t true but it is…
White men are the most priveleged people on earth, yeah for now you may think. But when China becomes a superpower in the next couple of decade, all women will lust over asian guys.In the future asians will influence politically, economically, and other social trends.
They will change modern pop culture, entertainment industry and etc. We are witnessing the decline of the US economy and soon the country.
lol Black men are taking white women, do you realise??? White women would bang a ugly black guy over a racist,loser white man. Some Gwai lo’s are lazy, cocky, racist,butt ugly and are successful because of the White media, it encourages the WM/AF, and WM with all ethnic women. You see it in hollywood, magazines, advertising, modelling, most of them are white dudes and some Black, of course chicks are going to be affected by the mainstream. Asian men not are in mainstream so far, but it’s going to change when China rises!!!
Smart racist. Better than cool asian male, amirite? 😀
You’re just stating the obvious. All good students of history know that the dominant superpower at any given point in time defines the standards of beauty and spreads its cultural influence into the conscious and subconscious. It was true during the Roman empire, the Persian empire, the Mongol empire, and indeed throughout human history. Scientific studies on female psychology regarding mate-selection show that females consistently are more attracted to success than physical appearance. This is due to their innate instinct to want to find a good provider for their genes in their offspring. Studies asking females to select the most attractive man in a group of photos show marked differences in females who were told a made-up profession of the man (doctor, scientist, construction worker, etc.) versus those who were only shown the photos. The moral of the story is for us Asian guys to continue our pursuit of success. I don’t just mean that in a group sense, as in “the rise of China” or “the rise of the Asian male,” but also on the individual level. We must constantly seek to better ourselves and not debase ourselves by accepting the decadent values that are so prevalent in modern American society. Keep your head up and march forward without looking back, and surely our day will come. I think they have a saying in America: “He who laughs last laughs best.” 🙂