My Speed Dating Experience – To Meet, Network, or Date?

Chris Rock once said that, when you’re dating someone for the first time, you are meeting his or her representative. All jokes aside, I think there is an element of truth to this statement. Often compared to interviewing for jobs, dating this day and age is a numbers game of showcasing your resume to several applicants until a reply occurs. For the busy, exhausted, or curious, one way to date people on a fast-paced scale is through speed dating.

Chris Rock once said that, when you’re dating someone for the first time, you are meeting his or her representative. All jokes aside, I think there is an element of truth to this statement. Often compared to interviewing for jobs, dating this day and age is a numbers game of showcasing your resume to several applicants until a reply occurs. For the busy, exhausted, or curious, one way to date people on a fast-paced scale is through speed dating.

I was initially lured to speed dating because the event, Meeting Chinese and Korean Singles, (www.prosinthecity.com) promised wine and chocolate. And if the aphrodisiacs also led to attraction to the opposite sex, so be it. I had a very open mindset: I wanted to meet, possibly network, and, lastly, consider dating that person. To think I would meet Prince Charming could lead to disappointing results. Finally, I wanted to have a good time in the process!

All singles were given a nametag and scorecard, where they would take notes about the candidates and check whether they were interested in them or not. If there was a mutual interest, then both people would be given the contact information they allowed to the other (phone and/or e-mail) the next day.

Even though the event seemed to cater to two ethnic groups only, I met a variety of people: Caucasian, mixed race, and Vietnamese. The age group varied from mid-20s to upper 40s. Given the rather high noise level created by the proximity of others, both parties needed to be vigilant to make a connection. The time spent with each person can be the most grueling or quickest four minutes. I experienced both. With one gentleman, not only could I not hear him, but also he couldn’t understand me. Meanwhile, I was trying to ask unique questions rather than the typical “what do you do” questions.

“So, what annoys you?” I asked.

His eyebrows furrowed and he responded, “Oh, I’m not a noisy person. I’m pretty quiet.”

Oh, great. I fumbled, trying to explain in Mandarin, but he still had no clue. This was a problem.

Another candidate cut to the chase and asked for my contact information near the end of the four-minute conversation. He wore a baseball cap and looked attractive. I politely said that, if there is a connection between us, then that information will be revealed. I also caught a glimpse of his scorecard—a list of phone numbers from all the previous women. Enough said.

The next day, I received an e-mail stating that a few matches were made. I kept in touch with some of these matches as friends. To some, this experience was a failure in the dating realm. But, I’d like to think that I met some pretty interesting people all in one night. And, like any other job interview, I just have to keep trying.

Emily is involved in the Organization of Chinese Americans of the greater Washington, DC area (www.ocadc.org). She is also a graduate student at Johns Hopkins University.