What is it with tits anyway?
Tits, floppies, flapjacks, whohas, breastses, love sacks, boobs, tatas, fun bags…. something I don’t really know anything about. I was a size A for 10 years and just recently increased to a B…I guess it’s true what experts say, my body is preparing itself for motherhood.. dayum. Sorry don’t know if that’s happening. If this is the way my body is going to morph then I should have double D’s by the time I’m 40.
What is it with tits? I mean breasts? And why are men so obsessed with them? That is the question!
I had to ask a few of my male friends what the hell was in their head and what could I do to improve my “shortcomings”.
Todd, Graduate student in Boston area, not specifying school
“Breasts are calming and remind us of our days when we breast fed from our mothers. They protected us from the entire world.”
Peter, property manager in Manhattan
“It’s hardwired into our brains as infants, men and women alike, that breasts are an important part of our survival.
Most of us lived off the damned things at one point in our life, so it’s only understandable that we carry a certain fondness for them as we grow older.”
Chris, colleague at job
“It is who we are. Breasts indicate to men, at least on a subconscious level, that a woman is fertile – that she is past puberty and that her body can afford to waste energy on developing and carrying around nicely shaped but otherwise unnecessary pieces of fat, ready to procreate and therefore a potential mate.”
Some say it has something to do with being breast feed as a child and that is their first connection to the woman.
Robby, guy I befriended at a bar. We hit it off as friends (without benefits) 3 years ago. We’ve been friends ever since.
“Well let’s see. They are round and soft and smooth and fun to play with, and they make great pillows, and they have these wonderful little knobs you can play with, and they feel real nice when you squeeze ’em, and… um… yeah…
Sometimes if the girl is cool and willing, I’ll stick my dick…..”
“OK thanks..Got it.” I say…Oh the thought (with Robby), aiy, yai, yai
But what about real or fake? Does it matter?
I asked a few Asian guys and non-Asian guys. I also touched on shapes and whether or not they prefer fakes or not?
Asian guy friend. Know for about 10 years.
“I like regular shaped breasts..Not too big, not too small. I prefer real but if she has a nice boob job, that’s great too.”
Aaron, my sister’s boyfriend’s brother,non-Asian
“It doesn’t really matter. When it comes right down to it, we really like breasts for the same reason we like anything: The jiggling is fun to watch.”
“Disgusting. Really. So you are into freaks? Freaks with silicone?” I say.
“It’s a visual thing. I love things of beauty and those are beautiful.”
Thomas, local television commentator. Gets a lot of ass
“I love big jugs.. I love it when a girl is riding me and her big jugs bounce.”
Thanks for the information Thomas. Very informative. I cannot wait to try that out myself.
Girls. I’m sorry. I could not get to the bottom of this, which is why it took me awhile to write my latest column. Most of the guys I spoke with want at least a handful. You know, “Something to play with.” Fake or real did not seem to matter. As long as they are firm.
But do we really need to care? Let’s get serious for a moment..If you want to talk about touchable appendages, let’s try and discuss penis size. I bet many would run. Would the man be as critical? More importantly, would WE be as critical? Should we be as critical? You know most of them don’t even have the average 5.5 inches….HARD.
And boys, FYI, SIZE DOES MATTER.. I don’t care what your desperate girlfriend told you. Additionally, you need to work it too. Do not think we will suck your appendage and not expect the return….double D’s or not. How much effort do the men put out? Are they ripping open and stuffing their precious peepee with a silicon calabrese all for the pleasure of the opposite sex?
I want to explore further! Thus the topic of my next column: Penis size!
It’s great to see you back.
This is what passes for journalism these days? Sad.
Escuse me snob. If you don’t like it, then do not read it. It was an opinion piece, meant to be humorous. If you can do such a great job then let’s see it….I’m waiting.
I’ve also wondered why breasts seemed to matter to men, but never asked. I’ve only asked if they silicone-installed breasts mattered to them.
I also want to do my own interview. This is an entertaining writing piece.
Alot of my girlfriends were curious too.
I say breast obsessiveness steams from western culture altogether. If you were to examine other cultures say China and Japan, this infatuation only started there recently because of their contact with the west.
Why the infatuation? Could be because of the fact that breasts are one part of the body that is always covered up.
In fact in China, foot-binding eventually became a sexual infatuation for men. Why? Because women never showed their bound feet to anyone but other women.
See the link? You could argue that covered body parts becomes an obcession.
Desmond Morris explains it very clearly in “The Naked Ape”. All male primates show interest in the breasts of females of their species. In knuckle-walking species, mammaries hang downward – away from the torso. In upright-walking species (like humans), mammaries are deemed more appealing if they stand up and point out – again, away from the torso. (Note: If you don’t believe in evolution, then I guess this will remain a mystery for you.)
This not only explains the male “infatuation” (which is actually a normal genetic predisposition), but also the female infatuation with wanting their own breasts to look “perky”. Nature wants to make it easy for a male to identify a distant silohuette as a female of breeding age.
You are just an expert in everything aren’t you?
-jaymie
Only in things that are important 😉
Nancy one word GOLD! can’t wait till the next one:)
I’ve never thought of it that way! That’s really interesting, thanks for that. 🙂