Following news of the tragic murder-suicide of a Korean family that occurred
Following news of the tragic murder-suicide of a Korean family that occurred September 9 in Flushing, Queens, Koreans felt shocked and are expressing concern about numerous tragedies that have affected Korean families.
In particular, as it has become increasingly clear that the family’s acquaintances and relatives weren’t aware of the problems and worries affecting the family, arguments in favor of some sort of response are getting louder. People are saying: “Korean family problems should not be left as they are.”
Jong Hoon Lee set fire to his house and killed himself after murdering his wife Sung-hae Lee and his son, who attended high school. This tragedy demonstrates the severity of problems among some Korean families. The terrible event was shocking, but the fact that their neighbors and relatives didn’t know about their problems was much more shocking.
An acquaintance who has known Mr. Lee for 30 years said, “There was no reason for him to commit murder and suicide. Their financial trouble was not so serious as to make him do that.”
It is estimated that there have been about 10 similar cases of suicide and/or parricide among families or married couples experiencing problems, and who similarly did not tell neighbors or relatives about their problems.
Experts say that many Koreans are poor at dealing with their problems, which is a main reason for repeated family tragedies. A tragic event is more likely to happen when problems are not resolved and people end up unable to control their emotions.
“Affected by a tendency to be honorable in any situation and their hush-hush attitude, Koreans are reluctant to tell others their problems,” Regina Kim, the executive director of the Korean Family Counseling and Research Center, said. “Visiting and receiving counseling will reduce your problems by half.”
In particular, she emphasized, “If they had received thorough counseling and people had tried together to figure out how to solve the problem, the tragedy would not have happened … the event should be an opportunity to change bad Korean culture.”
Some pointed out that counseling organizations to help solve family problems in Korean societies should actively reach out to people in need.
A total of 20 counseling organizations are here in the Korean community in New York City. They handle family-related problems for families, old people, women, and adolescents. However, in fact, very few people have requested help since knocking on the doors of these organizations requires courage, for example, setting one’s pride aside.
On September 15, local politicians and representatives from the Korean American Human Service Provider Association, an alliance of volunteer organizations in New York, held a press conference at Korean Community Services of Metropolitan New York (KCS) in Queens. They urged people to come to their organizations and use their services to solve problems in Korean society.
KCS, Korean American Family Service Center, Minkwon Center, Korean American Civic Empowerment, Family Touch, YWCA, Milal Mission, and Korean American Youth Foundation were at the press conference at KCS. Ron Kim, a member of the New York State Assembly, and Peter Koo, a New York City Council member, also participated. All the people there said in the same voice, “Asking for help is not something shameful … please reach out to us whenever you need help.”
The executive director of KCS, Linda Lee, said, “Our organizations exist in order to solve problems in each family … KCS has mental health clinics in order to solve troubles that can spin out of control. If someone is having trouble visiting us by him or herself, accompany the person to the organization and let the person get help.”
By Jiha Ham Via The Korea Times
Translated by Yehyun Kim from Korean
via via voicesofny.org http://ny.koreatimes.com/article/874576