Creativity and Collaboration on Craigslist

I’ve actually seen job postings on Craigslist that cite such things as “no cap on salary offering depending on what you bring to the situation.” What does that mean?

Translation: The sky is the limit depending upon what you are willing to do to get and keep the job. It gets better.

“Able to get crazy impossible tasks done such as get Forbes to write an article on Jello done tomorrow.”

Translation: This person is a nut and has gone through quite a few people already. Are YOU crazy enough for the challenge?

Another posting cited “top drawer firm looking for a top drawer assistant from a top-tier university with extensive experience. Maximum of four years working for a CEO or Chairman of a Hedge Fund or Private Equity Firm. Please submit photo and/or website link with resume.”

Come again? Since when does extensive experience call for four years and a photo?

Translation: We want a hot 25 year old with a smoking body to give the guys in the office some major eye candy but who is also useful enough to assist one of the founders of our firm.

After reading through thousands of these ridiculous job postings, a light bulb went off in my head. I became the first to see the light. I thought to myself, why not send out my resume to these amusing job openings to meet my next husband? And so my innovative venture began. I began to work backwards. What do I want to be when I grow up and who do I want to be married to? A doctor, a lawyer, an independent investor, a commercial realtor, a venture capitalist? How would I go about meeting and establishing an intimate relationship with this desirable individual? Then it came to me! A major “light bulb” moment. The most exciting moment in the history of science. I can be his ASSISTANT!! And Craigslist is the innovative and collaborative tool to assist me in this revolutionary endeavor. Now, I just have to figure out how to eliminate the competition for my new Assistant job.

I am gorgeous, have a great body, went to the best theatrical school in New York City and I am extremely well-educated. Not a problem at all!

I took the bull by the horns and sent out my resumes with a vengeance! To my amazement, several blue chip, renowned, prominent, prestigious, top drawer financial firms responded with interest! My next step was to google the interviewers to determine if they were attractive enough and worth my valuable time. As luck happens, I interviewed with most of them. I set out for my new role as “The Assistant” with the proper hair and makeup, of course.

Unfortunately, the lighting was out of my control but my costume was a form fitting black cotton Christian Dior Suit with a skirt above the knee (to show off my fabulous legs) and toned body. God I look gorgeous–I would hire me on the spot! I wore sensible but elegant jewelry and topped the look off with my Chanel scarf, black patent leather Chanel heels and black Chanel bag. During each interview, I made a conscious effort to make direct “Cat’s Eye” contact and eye to lip contact. I was convincingly enamored with every man who took the time out of his day to interview me.

Needless to say, I received several offers and they were not all for jobs! I am convinced that I am onto something revolutionary in the 30+ singles dating field. The best men are either married and miserable or single but both types of men, that I’m looking for, are “hidden in a cave” and too busy toiling away at their jobs 12+ hours a day to go out and meet quality women. That is why I decided to use my creative genius to turn the tables on these employers and interview them to find my future husband!

I personally think that many of these so-called employers married or not, are listing jobs on Craigslist just for the “thrill” of interviewing beautiful girls with a background suitable to their own taste anyway. In other words, they are fishing for the woman of their dreams to either work for them or to date or both. That is thinking “out of the box” and a lot of women do take the bait, including myself.

How many times have you seen a job post that requested a PHOTO or WEB PAGE/FACEBOOK ACCOUNT? Or how about the $25 AD will state must love rock music, play an instrument, be an athlete, love photography, have an in-depth knowledge of the fine arts, etc. and the job is an assistant to a CEO at a Private Equity Firm!

Because I was so successful in my new venture and I want all of you single ladies out there to be equally as successful, I have composed a list of four key questions to cover on your Job/Date Interview:

1. What’s your favorite scene from your favorite book or movie?
Talking about mass media and pop culture can clue you in to similar interests and worldviews. “Books, movies, and music all transmit powerful messages of hope or emotion. If you have radically different preferences, there may be some fundamental differences between the way the two of you look at the world.” But asking your “date” to name his favorite scene can help you distill what’s important to him beyond just genre.

2. What do you love about your job?
The standard, “What do you do?” is a closed question that doesn’t reveal much about a person other than a job title. But if you phrase the career question a bit differently, you can delve into your date’s likes and dislikes; reveal his or her strengths; see how he or she handles conflict; and find out how happy this person is with life overall. Think about the different impressions you’ll form if your date answers the question, “Knowing that I am changing the world for the better and helping mankind.” versus “Deciding what to order for lunch!”

3. What’s your definition of a relationship?
Granted, it takes a bit of build-up to ask this question (usually, once you begin discussing your dating histories, you can slip this one in), but it’s worth asking. Does your date want to be wined and dined or are you both looking for a 50/50 relationship? It’s too soon to know what this specific potential relationship will look like, but a question like this lets you share your expectations and fundamental beliefs. And if your date’s answer is outside the range of what you consider acceptable, you’ve saved yourself future heartbreak by finding out before you fall for him.

4. If money were no object, what would you do with your life?
This tried-and-true icebreaker showcases your date’s hopes, dreams, and regrets — topics that often remain untouched by even serious romantic partners. The answers can range from a desire to travel to performing at a rock concert to producing a movie. Two buttoned-up stockbrokers might discover they both share a secret longing to be athletes or a shared devotion to public service. Your date’s response will help clue you in to common goals and interests that go beyond what you do on a day-to-day basis.

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you’ll gain valuable insights onto your interview/date and know whether the two of you are likely to click on your next date/interview. I’ve always said that dating is just like interviewing; You have to find the perfect fit. Who knows, you may get an offer you can’t refuse in more ways than one, just like I did. This secret is just between us, right? Because I know that so many women married or not are going to be very upset with me for this. That is how I met my current man. He really lucked out because for $25 he got a great employee and he got me! He managed to kill two birds with one stone all for the bargain price of $25!