Becoming a Bathing Beauty
Even as a lapsed Catholic, I can see why the faith came out against the skimpy two-piece. After all, aren’t bikinis simply a tease, a gilding of the lily, so to speak? Do we really want to expose as much of ourselves to the sun as we can or as much of ourselves to other people? Bikinis are the twitter of the fashion world, messaging fast and furious snippets of information about the wearer. Every and any celebrity magazine worth its salt has acres of pages of analysis and pictorial dedicated to the swimwear-wearing superstar and what their outfit (or the lack thereof) says about them and their body. The flip side of my socio-anthropological analysis is that the wearing of a bikini actually feels good—near naked, but not. It’s as close as we get to the “Garden of Eden” experience—well, in public, anyway.
I’m a bikini fan and a long-time wearer (I don’t have any children, mind you). Ironically, it’s not until one reaches a certain age that one becomes either a steadfast one- or two-piece wearer. In one’s younger years, it doesn’t matter what one throws on (or even, in certain parts of Europe, if one throws on anything at all). Those of us in the bikini camp aren’t necessarily smaller in dress size either. The issue is about confidence rather than cup or waist size. (To a degree)
If you feel good in it, then why not? Neither Ursula Andress nor Marilyn Monroe (two women who sensationally popularized the early bikini) was on the slim side. On the other hand, for those of us who are ardently opposed to the bikini, I can understand the “pull it all together under one roof” benefits of a one-piece— though I have always thought that unless one has a washboard stomach, the one-piece is much less flattering than it is universally held to be.
Both the bikini and the one-piece should be supportive, flattering and reliable; the moment it becomes flabby, faded and retains too much water, it’s time to get a new one. There’s an analogy to be made between bikinis and men, but I’m going to let you draw it yourself. Unlike a man, though, it’s generally best to stick to one tried-and-tested brand; mine are Becca and Burberry. Straying from the path will almost certainly lead to disappointment and potential wardrobe malfunction.