Masturbation Recreation
I’m not a fan of toys. I never really liked them. But like every girl, I do have my own goody drawer. Why do I have one if I don’t use them? It just feels like something every girl should own. Sex nymphs, even the granola type girls, all own some type of goody drawer. You can find the usual stuff in there such as a vibrator, dirty talking dildos, erotic reads, cock rings, a video camera, flavored lubes, and condoms. I never had to use any of them because I always had a boyfriend. And I thought if I had a boyfriend, why would I need toys to pleasure myself? Now I know why.
I’ll never forget the time I held my very first own dildo. There was an illuminating, golden glow that surrounded it. It was hot pink, generous in size, and vibrated like no other. It was perfect. It was a gag gift that I got from my friend for my 16th birthday. I never used one before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. When I turned it on and it buzzed in my hand, I could only imagine the sensations it could do down there. It was exciting but at the same time I felt embarrassed and dirty. I couldn’t imagine myself being alone in my bedroom thinking gooey thoughts to get me off. It wasn’t for me. The idea of a mock penis or my hand giving me pleasure just did not sound appealing or erotic at all. That’s what I had my boyfriend for. Why do I have to do all the work when I can make him do it for me? Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself. If you have to get the job done, you have to do it yourself. Take matters into your own hands, so long as they weren’t my hands doing it for me.
I never realized how many women masturbate and how common it was until I started talking about it with my friends.
I never realized how many women masturbate and how common it was until I started talking about it with my friends. To some women it’s a recreational activity. They would come home from a long day at work, heat up leftovers for dinner, read a couple of chapters from their favorite book, and hit the sack. Then they would curl up underneath the covers with their loyal vibrator. For other women it’s a ritual. It’s integrated into their daily routine, like brushing your teeth. To them, masturbation is more than a hobby. It’s a lifestyle. My friend Sheila is living proof of that.
“Thanks for that vibrator you gave me. I must have used it at least 7 times today,” Sheila raved.
Last week I invited a few of my girlfriends to a magazine launch party for work. It was held on the lower east side at a lounge called Happy Ending. How appropriate, wouldn’t you say? Every month, my company would throw a magazine launch party and hand out fun goody bags with a complimentary vibrator. It was the only reason why people showed up for these parties. Oh, and for the free drinks.
“7 times? That’s kind of excessive, don’t you think?” I asked. “When do you find time to do it?”
“No. That sounds about right. I masturbate about 9 times a day,” my other friend Melissa chimed in. She came with me to the party last week too.
“Trust me. I make time for it- mostly in the mornings, when I get home from work, and every night before I go to bed,” Sheila said casually. “You don’t understand. This vibrator is un-fucking-believable.”
“7 times? 9 times? I don’t have the chance to do it every day, let alone multiple times a day. What do you do? Carry yours around?” I asked sarcastically.
I’ve used a vibrator before but not like this one! In 20 minutes I came and fell asleep satisfyingly. I didn’t have to feel guilty for it either. It was such a luxury. I didn’t have to worry about talking afterwards or cuddling. I just rolled over and went to sleep.
As I thought about it, I’m awake for about 17 hours. I’m at work all day until 6 PM. I go to the gym, shower, have dinner, and spend some time on my article. By that time my day is over and I go to bed. Nowhere in my schedule could I find time to squeeze in some self-lovin’.
The next day I received a text message from Melissa. It said “just wanted you to know that I may never have sex again thanks to your vibrator!” That’s it. I had to know what the hype was all about. Here they are having multiple orgasms when I’m the one with a boyfriend. Later that night I went about my daily routine. I went to the gym, ate dinner, washed up, and prepped for my date with my vibrator. I lit a couple of candles, fluffed my pillows, and lied down with the vibrator in my hand. When I turned it on it was like music to my ears except to my vagina. I’ve used a vibrator before but not like this one! In 20 minutes I came and fell asleep satisfyingly. I didn’t have to feel guilty for it either. It was such a luxury. I didn’t have to worry about talking afterwards or cuddling. I just rolled over and went to sleep. From that point on I was addicted. At first it started out once every other night, then every night. All of sudden my usage increased to mornings too. I started taking it with me wherever I went. What’s so great about it is that it’s small enough to throw in my purse. It wasn’t like I was going to take breaks at work to get myself off. All I’m saying is just in case. You never know when you might need a vibrator handy. I brought it to my boyfriend’s house just in case we didn’t have sex. He was tired from work and he fell asleep early as I suspected. I was almost excited. As I laid down next to him I turned it on.
“BZZZZ! BZZZZ!”
Shit, I thought. I might have to put a couple of pillows over it. It was really loud. What would he think if he found out that I was using a vibrator in the same bed next to him?
“What’s that noise?” he asked. I could have sworn he was asleep.
“Nothing,” I said. “Go to bed.” I was so close. I couldn’t get out of my zone just yet. But I was busted. He caught me and it was gone. Great. How am I supposed to explain this to him? I had an excuse prepared but before I could explain to him why I was using a vibrator in the same bed with him, he rolled over and fell asleep. I guess it really didn’t matter. So I continued to use it whenever we didn’t have sex and he would fall asleep to the sound of it buzzing. It was a happy ending to my night.


This was good. I’m thinking of buying a new vibrator myself..oh and there isn’t a picture of a white guy on this column this month..Maybe the angry asian men who constantly post over and over about a white man in a picture will shut up for 2 weeks!
i keep reading your articles thinking they would get better. you are one of the most trite writers i have ever read. i literally groan out loud at some of your sentences because they are so bad. but i must give you props for having a no-holds barred attitude.
Great Article! Very enlightening and courageous. But be careful, like with anything in life, too much and going too far has its pitfalls. You may not notice, but those who love you, or wish they could, will, when your routine leaves little time/room/interest for the real thing. Try to keep in mind that an instrument of satisfaction backed up by the warmth of a heart, will always be better than one backed up by a battery, no matter how many orgasms it delivers. You have a new fan. Keep up the great work.
Ps. To ugh >>> Dear Bitter-Soul, get yourself a vibrator, stat!
I think the reason why there isn’t a white guy in this picture is because it doesn’t call for a guy at all. If it was about getting assistance and required a man, it would be a white man.
And just to let you know, I’m a proud Asian American woman who’s involved with a very romantic Asian American man. Sun Fan, I’ve seen your previous comments and you have no right to dictate on how to be treated fairly when you just lumped all Asian men as small and dickless in your previous comments.
Have you forgotten about the Golden Rule? Asian men do have a legit gripe to be honest, this country has stacked the odds against them as well as Asian women. How can you and other Asian women on this site expect to tear down this system when you’re actively supporting it?
This site has done nothing but legitimize the superiority of white men and what’s sad is that it comes from so-called enlightened Asian women. If the “enlightened” ones are doing it, there is no hope at all.
A white guy probably shot the picture. And why say “legitimize”, when what you really mean is recognize? “. . . tear down this system.” You sound like you’re conspiring a war against my country. That’s ok, every other insurgent culture is, so go ahead, jump on the bandwagon. As long as you and your delicate horde of whiners remain latent, most of us real Americans of every color won’t need to be annoyed by your trivial pursuits as we age and expire. Besides, the way I see it, this country is coming apart at the seams anyway and it’s rapid dissolution needs no further assistance from the likes of you or your insidious pals. So Tear Down Away oh Enlightened Ones! I’m just curious what you all will bitch about once the walls have come crashing down and there’s nothing left of the America I grew up in but a bunch of paranoid foreigners fighting over who the new minority gets to be and what the new official language will be. Luck with all that, fools. And girls, enjoy your vibrators while you still have the freedom to buy batteries for them . . .
Very Much a Sun Fan fan . . .
I love Big Ass